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Optical Express DLWE v Strathgryffe – Away Match Report 1st March 2017
Strathgryffe 2 tonight away and with all their upcoming juniors Strathgryffe “are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get!”
We got an early start this week and when I arrived at 6.50pm the No.1s were on. Jason Lang had just finished his 1st game v Calum Carswell, which he won 11-9, so Calum obviously started really well, but Jase went onto dominate this one and won 3-0. I didn’t see much of it as I began marking Doug Macmillan v Neil Richardson at No.4. Again Doug was well in charge of this one, although whenever Neil got it on the left hand side (his forehand) he was causing all sorts of problems, but a good 3-0 win for the big Doug and he didn’t even rip his shorts this week! (must be on a diet! 😉 )
I was called on court whilst marking Doug’s 2nd game so I didn’t see the end of that either, but when I told my opponent (15 year old Ruadhri McDougal) who had been knocking up for a good few minutes, that we were playing he said “I haven’t done my warm up yet I’ll be back soon” – to which I replied “I haven’t done mine either that’s why I’m here!” must be a generation thing?!?!
Well, you know this could potential banana skin when the coaches & sponsors start watching the young prodigy, so I was happy to get off to a good start 11-6. But after a few sage words from his coach (Martin Woods) Ruadhri came back a different player and only a few of his mistakes at the business end of the game saved me – 2nd game 11-9. The 3rd was much more convincing for me, as I slowed things down and played ‘old man’ squash against the youngster! So a good 3-0 win for me and it will probably be the last time I ever beat him!
The other match was Strathgryffe 1 v SSRC, but due to late arrivals Finlay McGhee had snuck onto the other court and was playing Gary McIlree at No.3. This was a good one to watch with Fin putting in a good shift as ever, but Gary had taken the 1st game 11-9. However Fin came storming back to win the next two. The 3rd was 12-10 and both men had game balls, but eventually Fin eked the last couple of points to take it 3-1 (MOTM to Fin I’d say & Gary for them).
So last on at about 8pm (!) was Paul Treon v Steve Archibald (who was looking good since playing in the ’82 World Cup!). Steve made things difficult, but Paul won this 3-0 and although there were long rallies Paul ended up on the right side of most of them.
With all the early matches, we were in the bar for 9pm and I’m beginning to wonder if pizza is sponsoring the West Squash Leagues? It seems to be a Wednesday staple these days! And despite telling myself not to eat as much as I can, I always do! Especially when there was 50 slices between 7 of us!
So a good 18-1 win for the team (and without Craig at no.1!) which is just as well as we’ve got Giffnock 1 and Newlands 1 coming up, so not many points in the last games I reckon!
Optical Express DLWE v Whitecraigs Rugby Club – Away Match Report 15th February 2017

Doug v Nairn (Craig in the chair)
Tricky away fixture to the south side as we visited Whitecraigs Rugby club (although it’s more of a home fixture for me!).
Doug (Macmillan) v Nairn McMaster were first up at No.5 and knowing how difficult a player Nairn can be I feared the worst. But Doug is getting back to some serious form and was playing the game that suited him most. Nairn was doing his best to upset this, but by the 5th game you couldn’t get a Rizla between them. At 8-5 down Doug was almost out of it, but he went on a great run to take the game 11-8 and the match 3-2 (M.O.T.M. very probably)
With 2 courts Finlay (McGhee) was on at the same time at No.4 v Harry Anderson. This went a similar way to the No.5 match with the ebb and flow taking it to a deciding 5th end. The game was excellent to watch with Flash Harry playing all sorts of shots I’d never seen before and Fin digging everything back (unless it was a nic – which it often was!). Anyway Fin was also down in the last 7-4, but he too went on a match winning run to clinch it 11-7 (and win 3-2). M.O.T.M. – well with the effort he put in, it was very close between him and Doug.
Craig (Valente-Wallace) and I went on next against Andy MacBean and Allan McKay respectively. Craig was 1-0 up when I went on court, and he was moving the ball well – with some lung busting rallies, but 3 markers later he came off having lost 3-1. Tough one and Andy must have dug in well.
My game was much the same, in that I lost 3-1. Allan was just too good on these Banbury courts – he really whipped the ball hard and low on the forehand. I tried to neutralise his game by playing on the left and slowing it up. However at 1-1 and 9-6 down it was slipping away from me! Mind you a couple of minutes later at 10-9 up (in the same game) I needed to get a lucky one. Unfortunately I just couldn’t eek out another point, lucky or otherwise!
In the 4th I think I played the worst serve I’ve played in about 40 years, to give Allan match ball, but he was well in control by then and I lost 3-1
So 2-2 and last on was Jason (Lang) v Ewan Hearns. Ewan was looking a bit the worse for wear and although the result was never really in doubt Ewan fought well and pushed Jase in the 1st and 3rd games. However a good 3-0 win from Jase and (not for the first time) gaining the team the 3 bonus points.
So a very close 14-10 win (3-2) to DLWE and we retired early for chilly and veggie pasta. Great scran and we watched Bayern give Arsenal the squash equivalent of a 11-1 hammering! (whilst discussing Trainspotting 2 – which I romantically took my better half to see for Valentines!)
Jason B
PS from Doug – Hi all, just a quick add on to Jason’s very literate and detailed match report. Small detail he managed to forget somehow, even though it’s still engraved into my head sadly! In the 4th game at 8-10 match ball down, Jason did something I’ve not seen in quite some time and proceeded to not only put his serve not just down below the line but completely into the tin-but that’s not it, the ball also managed to hit the floor before hitting the tin. High skill shot, therefore Jason C.O.T.M. (from Douglas Macm)
PPS – It’s a good point Doug –although I did mention it……………… in passing! (with a fair amount of gloss over it!) – But it does remind me of something else I forgot, that happened in your match. You know that really baggy pair of shorts you used to wear (that look almost skin tight these days) where are they now? In the bin I hope after ripping them whilst playing last night!! Were they a bit tight!?!?! 😉 Jase
Optical Express DLWE v Giffnock 2 – Away Match Report 8th February 2017

Fin v Gazza at no.4
First team did well tonight with a tricky away fixture against Giffnock 2.
Doug was there inexplicably early and was on again Jonathan Brady at No.3 – a good match with both guys pure meltin’ the baw! Seemed to suit both of their games and it was a good run, but Giffnock won this 3-0. Never saw Doug again – must have been a big night out arranged.
Next on was Paul Treon v Graham “The Mugger” McAinsh at No 4. Paul had just finished his dinner, so was a bit tentative in the 1st game. It was as close as it could be at 14-12, but Paul was on the winning side. Then things got considerably easier as Paul worked out Mugger’s game and at the same time digested his tea! So a 3-0 to us.
I (Jason Broadberry) went on next against Mark Coyle at No.2. I’d lost to Mark previously, but now he has got a proper job and is working hard he’s not able to play as much squash, so things have evened out. I was like a ‘Bolt’ out of the blocks (yes! Me!!) and took the 1st comfortably, but Mark got going in the 2nd a evened things up. The 3rd was ‘the cruncher’ and I was game ball down….. twice, but managed to hold onto my bottle just at the crucial time and won 14-12. The 4th was much easier and I brought home the match 3-1 (M.O.T.M. again for me? Maybe!)
Finlay McGhee was on next v Gary Blanchflower at No.4. This was a great match up of youth v experience or shots v movement or even little v large! Fin won the 1st quite easily, but after that we had 3 tie-breaks. The match was very entertaining and ‘Angry Fin’ managed to motivate himself and frustrate himself in equal measure! Garry was getting very tired toward the end, but still managed to dominate many of the rallies, but Fin was right up for this and after losing 3 match balls in the 3rd, he also saved 2 match balls in the 4th and brought home the tie 3-1 (M.O.T.M. for Fin? Maybe!)
Last on was Jason Lang v Daniel (the baby faced assassin) O’Sullivan. I missed the first 2 games but Jase was well in charge and although Daniel was really quick and very dynamic, Jase was a cut above him and won the match 3-0
So 15 more points to the total and we all wolfed down 5 massive pizzas for dinner – seems to be the food of choice for the squash athlete!
(check out ‘Broadberry Sports Ltd’ on Facebook to see some clips of the matches or just click here)
Optical Express DLWE v Western – Home Match Report 1st February 2016
A bit of a thrashing from Western Last night, 3-18
I was on first, playing way above my pay grade at No.2! Got thrashed by some young veggie, ‘I.T. Crowd’ lookalike, whippet called Liam (I tried turning my game ‘off’ and ‘on’ again, but it didn’t work!)
Next was Doug at No.3 v Rich King. Doug’s hard training recently (i.e. suspect trips to Germany to sample the local iniquity) paid off, but not on court! Verprugeln 3-0 (Doug did spend the rest of the evening cuddling everyone though, so team spirit was high!)
Paul T on next at No.5 against Mhairi. Lost 3-1 to a girl! 😉
Ickle Fin played Steve Halliday at No.4! What the **** was Steven doing at No.4??? We soon found out as Fin took him to 5! Well played Fin M.O.T.M.
Craig VW on last against ‘mop-top’ Halliday. Top-knot performance from ‘Hirsute Halliday’! And staying on the hair-theme Craig was chopped 3-0. It was a ‘cut & dry’ result, maybe he was saving ‘something for the weekend’ 😉
Pizzas were great – although before the match I told myself not to eat too many slices. However that went out of the window when they arrived!
PS – I was C.O.T.M. for getting the fewest points
PPS – Paul lost to a girl! 😉
Optical Express DLWE v Hamilton – Away Match Report 25th January 2016
With 2 players missing (Doug was away & I was down south on business) it was looking like a tough away fixture to Hamilton and that was before another pull out at 11am on the day.
So I texted Colin (Clark) and said we’d need to borrow Joe McD from the 2nd team to which he replied “unacceptable, get your ass back up here!”
It was at that time that I thought “I wonder if I could make it home to play at No.2 and give the team a chance………………… and the 2nd team (and the 3rds!)”. Not that I thought I’d have a chance of winning after a 400 mile drive, but at least the others wouldn’t have to play a position higher – it may make the difference?
So 7.5 hours of non-stop driving later (bloody M6 is exasperating!) I arrived just after 8pm! I’d asked every man and his dog to help me get kit there (shoes especially) but to no avail so it took a falling out with the wife to get my full kit bag over to Hamilton (so thanks to Dawn, who made the difference and is surely the non-playing M.O.T.M. – or should that be W.O.T.M.?).
Craig had played 1st and although was 0-2 down against Kenny Boyle at No.1, he ended up coming back to win the 5th and securing a crucial 3 points. When I arrived Paul (Treon) was also involved in a 5 setter, but unfortunately he went down to a much improved Scott Hay.
I got thumped 3-0 (in a ‘take one for the team’ performance) against Calum Phillips and Colin (Clark) had a great 3-0 win against Peter Shivas at No.5.
So it was all on Finlay (McGhee) against a much improved Chris McGeady. However, it’s also a much improved Finlay as well and with 2 tie breaks he brought the match home 15-13 in the 3rd!
M.O.T.M.? Craig for a wonderful come-back? Fin or Col for great matches. Nope! With a

M.O.T.M. & W.O.T.M. !!
night or two to think about it I’ve come to the conclusion that I was M.O.T.M. for getting thumped 3-0!! And I would also like to be considered for M.O.T.M. of the 2nd team as well! (I’ve now got a thigh strain and a cold! But I’m sure it will be worth it in retrospect!)
Great curry from the Hamilton lads and Calum even remembered I was a veggie so I got a great meal as well!
And a 3-2 win (14 points to 8)
Optical Express DLWE v Whitecraigs Rugby Club – Home Match Report 9th November 2016
Well we were missing our talisman at No.1 tonight and so playing a good Whitecraigs Rugby Club side was going to be (another!) tough one!
First on was Doug (Macmillan) v Dougie Emery at No.3 (battle of the Dugs!) – Whitecraigs Dougie took immediate control of this match, with good length and a high tempo which meant he was soon 2-0 up. However DLWE Doug fought back hard in the 3rd and although he was behind for most of the game he was solid at 11-11 and won the game 13-11! Unfortunately Doug was solid as a blancmange after that and Whitecraigs Dougie took the 4th to secure the match 3-1.
I (Jason Broadberry – in case you’re wondering!) went on next against Ewan Hearns expecting a tanking and at 9-7 down in the 1st I wasn’t surprised. However I managed to scrape that one and noticed that Ewan was going for a lot and not running that well. The 2nd was even closer at 12-10 but I piped him again and now I was more confident of upsetting the bookies. And so it proved, as I won the 3rd more easily (and not a moment too soon as my calf tightened up more and more). A really surprising result for me and I think I was lucky to catch Ewan on a bad day, but then he’s a student so has probably been partying non-stop for Firework nigh or “Bevvy-vember” or maybe just Tuesday night!
Next on saw Paul (Treon) making his comeback match at No.5 against Harry Anderson. Harry was his usual flamboyant self, with his racket flashing cross-court nics, top-spin drops, & mizukies galore and he won the 1st game 13-11. However Paul started to turn the screw at this point and was happy to absorb the pressure before making his move. Then when he kept the ball away from Harry’s flashing volleys he was well in control (well as much as you can be against Flashman!). A good 3-1 win for Paul
The penultimate game at No.4 was Finlay (McGhee) against Allan McKay and what a dynamite match this was. When Fin was 2-0 up it looked like this was a going to be a easy win, but out of nowhere Allan woke up and started moving, volleying, and probably more importantly reading Fin’s game much, much better. After that, the tables really turned and despite a close 4th, Allan played great squash to come back and win the tie 3-2 (and send the match into a decider!)
So the No.1s took to the court as Jason (Lang) took on Andy MacBean. This was a tough encounter that went to 5 game and I missed some of this as I hit the showers. However a lot of pushing, shoving, back stretching and arguing with the ref later, Jason won a very narrow 5th to take the tie 3-2
And so we won the match 3-2 (194 points to 182 according to Sporty HQ!), so we hit the bar for pizza and chips! Ya dancer!!
Optical Express DLWE v Western– Away Match Report) 26th October 2016
A great match up last night as we went to Western to play their 1st team. The match swung one way then the other!
First on was Doug (Macmillan) against a the rejuvenated Richard King at No.5. Richard has been out of the game for 5 years or so with an injuries, but is now back and moving the ball very well indeed. Doug played the best I’ve seen him this season and was moving well himself, giving Richard plenty to think about. The match went to the 5th. When Doug hit a good length he was well in the match (unsurprisingly – if you know anything about squash at all this shouldn’t be a massive surprise! Although it often is for everyone!! 😉 ), but if he was short Richard was slotting the ball away nicely. It was a tough 5th but eventually Richard just won on experience to take the first rubber.
Next on was Finlay (McGhee) against Mhairi Charlton at No.4. Now Fin had lost to Marry previously so this was going to be a tough one, but he was up in the 1st game. However Mharry forced the pace, dominated the middle and kept Finlay well behind her to win the game. The 2nd was much of the same and once again Marhiri was just too consistent in hitting the back corners. So Fin would just have to win in 5 games. Great plan, but Mhairi wasn’t in on it and she finished things off 3-0.
So we were 2-0 down in the match and next on was Jason (Lang) v Liam Dickson at No.2. This was a great match, very athletic and frenetic, with some barn-storming rallies. Jason lost the 1st game on a ‘no let’ – which was fair enough, but tough to take! Then he came right back, as did Liam….. as did Jase again! And so to the 5th! Another great game decider with both players moving like two sparrows having a fight – but Jase squeezed a few too many mistakes out of Liam and managed to secured the 3-2 win.
The No.1s went on next and Craig (Valente-Wallace) played Peter Halliday. This was an interesting one to watch (although not to mark!) and I was very impressed with Craig’s movement. We’ll gloss over the 1st and call it Peter’s warm up game – but after that things got much tighter. However Craig was just too quick for Peter tonight – he anticipated well and looked strong on the ball. The next 2 games were tight and both players looked a bit grumpy, but Craig won both to take the tie and also to take the match into a scintillating decider!
Well it would have been scintillating if I was about 3 times as good as I actually am! I played Steven Halliday at No.3 and right from the word go it was obvious what the score was going to be. I did particularly well in the 2nd game and when I got to 9 first I thought this could be my chance, but unfortunately I was always second best and the only advise I could think of was “The way to beat Steven is to be better!”
Did you see that result coming? I saw this one being very close as ‘Optical Express’ DLWE were pipped 2-3 in the match – boooooo!
So to the bar and Western’s (Vegan) capt. – Liam – forgot to get himself, and me, a meal. So there was nothing else for it – a blond & nuts for me (that’s a bottle of Arran Blond & a pack of ‘Nobbies Nuts’ – in case you were wondering!) and a pizza on the way home!
Optical Express DLWE v Hamilton – Home Match Report) 12th October 2016
Hamilton came to call last night and it was one of those Wednesdays when everything goes well. We had 2 courts all night; the team T-shirts arrived; the food was good and we won – amazing!

Jason L – Jason B – Craig V-W – Finlay McG – Dougie Mac
First on court was all 5 of us as we posed for the team photo in the brand new Optical Express sponsored team tops!
But other than that Finlay (McGhee) v Scott Hay were first on court at No.4 – Fin was catching Scott with his cross-court drops, mixed in with good length. I didn’t see much of the game, but I did hear Scott’s coach (John Kirby) tell him to watch out for ‘this shot’ and ‘that shot’ and I thought I know exactly what you mean as he does it to me all the time as well (and it’s bloody annoying!). 3-0 to Fin
Next on was Craig (V-W) against Calum Phillip at No.1 – a good 1st game for Craig, but Calum started hitting his straps in the 2nd and with the really high swing, power and deception was having a lot of success – so much in fact that he won the 2nd game! But Craig was ready for him after that and was reading all of Calum’s tricks and keeping him tied to the back. So Craig brought home the match 3-1 to a more and more resigned Calum.
I was on next against Chris McGeady at No.3. Now we had a real hum-dinger of a match last time on the Hamilton ‘Sauna’ courts. I’d just managed to pip Chris in the 5th and I’d definitely used up my ‘Get out of Jail Free’ card during that encounter. Fortunately for me I dominated proceedings this time, on the colder courts and I volleyed particularly well (for me). Chris changed tactics in the 2nd game and I was happy to trade a few shots with him. The upshot was a 3-0 win for me – I was very satisfied with my performance (although Chris had a glint in his eye as he said “I look forward to the rematch in the Sauna!”) .
Doug (Macmillan) was 1-0 down and faffing about in the 2nd when I took over marking this match (against Stephen Healy at No.5). Fortunately he faffed his way to a 12-10 win in that game and so at 1-1 it was still anyone’s. Also at 8-8 in the 3rd, it was still anyone’s, but it was about here that Doug put the pedal to the metal and took the initiative with some much more positive squash and good length. So the eagle was landed and 1-1 soon became a 3-1 win to Dougie.
Jason (Lang) was last on against Colin Towers at No.2. and this was a mismatch in many ways, such as in height and also in age of racket! Not only was there was about 4 foot separating the two of them, but Jason’s brand new Harrow Vapor was gleaming next to Colin’s 20 year old antique of a racket! Unfortunately for Colin the game was a bit of a mismatch as well because Jason was playing well and was just too sharp for Colin.
So a 3-0 win for Jason meant the team got an excellent 18-point haul. MOTM to either Fin or me I’d (modestly) say and to Stephen Healey for Hamilton.
And the jacket spuds were baked to perfection. Everyone enjoyed them – even me (who doesn’t like potatoes!) and even Colin Towers, who I’ve never seen eat anything at a team match for 25 years, had half a potato!
Optical Express DLWE v Newlands 2 – Away Match Report) 5th October 2016 (amalgamated match report with week 1 v Glasgow Uni)
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
Well two weeks into the season and the roller-coaster that is ‘The West Squash Leagues’ are back with their weekly outrageous fortune. One week everything is great and the next is a tragedy!
We had a great trip to the University last week and a wonderful team win – I had a lucky win at No.3 against a young Egyptian guy called Omar (who I suspect I’ll never beat again!) who managed to get cramp in the 4th game so I snuck home 3-1 (winning on fitnesss!). However this week I was unceremoniously thrashed off the court 3-0 by Angus Woodward – mind you Angus was playing No.4 in their 1st team last week (and I was awarded two individual points for one outrageous cross-court volley nic! #shotofthematch)
It’s annoying when you play any 2nd team and they have got the full 1st team out (and players returning) because of a big match they have. Thus making them about 4 players stronger than normal! (#newsflash Newlands 1 beat Giffnock 1 last night 15-6 – could The Division 1 Title be returning to Newlands?)
Anyway back to the important stuff! Craig (Vallentie-Wallace) had a good solid win against the Uni at No.1 v Dan Wareing (winning the match with a flat nic!), but lost this week to Brendan Forrister and although I didn’t see it, it appeared that he was chopped a bit like I was.
Doug (Macmillan) joined the 1st team this week at No.5 and it was a massive move up from playing Parklands last week. He was also chopped 3-0 (by Dave Morrison) I’ve seen him play better than that! Mind you it made my terrible performance look a bit better! It’s all relative eh!
Finlay (McGhee) was chopped at No.4 this week; after a great first week against the Uni winning 3-0 at No.5 v Jesse Mills with a really good performance. But this week he was up against a very much improved Fraser McCann (who I sponsor via Harrow Rackets, so it was good to see Fraser in action and playing well). This was always going to be a tough one for Fin and I’m afraid his opponent was just too good (Fraser was 2nd in last week’s Danish Junior Open and leaving tomorrow for the Nordic Junior Open in Malmo! Tough life eh!?!). MOTM to Fraser I’d say.
The silver lining last night was Jason (also sponsored by Harrow….Lang!). A good win in week 1 v Terry Lau against the Uni and an even better win this week (I reckon) against Lisa Aitkin, Scottish No.1.
I could only admire Lisa’s wonderful volleying and movement, but Jase was making life very difficult for her and he managed to keep her stretching into the back corners and then getting on the volley early. Jase played really well to neutralise Lisa’s game and he thoroughly deserves our man of the match (although MOTM was a bit of a shoe-in this week!)
6pm start and curry for dinner meant we were all in the bar about 8.30pm – very nice!
So ‘The Good’ was the win v the Uni last week – ‘The Bad’ was last night’s drubbing and ‘The Ugly’ is…………….. Doug!
(and ‘yes’ I realise I’m on shaky ground with that gag!)
DLWE v Newlands – Away (Racketball Match Report) 20th April 2016

So the first ever West League racketball match started last night and we were playing Newlands away – and we all turned up discussing what the rules were and if it was up to 11 or 15. Alan Susskind said 11 so we began.
First on was Dangerous Dave Ritchie against the aforementioned Alan Susskind. This was a good game, but Alan was always in control and David spent more time lambasting himself and hitting his leg with the racket than winning points! Having said that Alan has been playing racketball for ages and is a very steady player, so no real surprise that he beat David 3-0. Having said that the 1st game was 11-8 to Alan until we realised that we were supposed to play to 15, so a curious score line of 11-8 15-13 15-8!!
Next on was Michael Jackson against Kenny McBrearty. Michael hasn’t played that much and doesn’t even own a racket yet! So it was somewhat surprising that he went 2-0 up! (must’ve been the Harrow racket I lent him!). However with every rally Kenny was getting into his stride and he began to reel Michael in. 2-0 became 2-2 and eventually Kenny gained more control of the ‘T’ and brought the match home 3-2. But an excellent two points from Michael.
While this was going on David Craig was playing at No.2 against Gavin Mack. Dave steamed into a great lead in the 1st game and Michael was 2-0 up on the other court at the same time so I dared to dream that we had a chance! However Gavin was a ‘no mistake’ player and Dave (who also does not own a racket yet!) just gave away a little too much. None the less all the games were tight and there was even a tie breaker in the 2nd, but Gavin eventually won 3-0.
I went on last against Ian (the octopus) Donnellan. I played well and didn’t let Ian in the 1st game, however I did let him in the 2nd and at 15-15 it was anyones! Fortunately my mantra of “hit straighter, get to the ‘T’ & volley more” saved the day – not that I did any of those things, I just hit a winner off the frame whilst thinking about them! The 3rd game was easier for me as you can see from the video (I’m not showing any of the points Ian won!) and I won the match 3-0.
A stack of (semi burned) pizza for dinner went down a treat with the lads and we hardly mentioned Michael losing to a girl in the dim and distant past of the squash season!


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