Match Reports DLWE 2009/10

  1. December 17, 2009 at 1:14 am

    DLWE 1 v Newlands 1 – 9th December 2009
    Team lost 18-0 to top of the league team.

    David lost to James 3-0
    Richard lost to Peter O’Hara 3-0
    Lee lost to Malky Watt 3-0
    Andrew lost to Pete Malone 3-0
    David lost to Stuart Brunton 3-0

    David managed to mark an entire match and should be commended for this.

    Im going to award MOTM to me for narrowly loosing the 2nd game 12/10 – and very nearly causing an upset (to my body!)

    COTM award goes to Richard – reason? Well – he had a new haircut (maybe in prep for Sat night??) – but he too played well.


  2. December 17, 2009 at 1:19 am

    DLWE 4th Team v Hamilton – 9th December 2009
    An eventful and also long night. Team 4 had the middle court with 5’s on Court 3, and the 3rds on the show court. I emailed Ayr and Hamilton saying get along early but no message was passed on.

    First on Kevin against 13 year old James Wilson at No 2. Kevin started well, but couldn’t maintain the momentum and young James ended up a worthy winner. Some marginal decisions from me as marker, even some wrong ones, but I’m convinced they averaged out, and right person won on the night. Defeat 1-3.

    Then the number 5 match Simon Pollock versus Bill Hunter. I think David Wilson didn’t have a good game as marker, and Bill was getting away with far too much. This unsettled Simon Pollock who ran around like Mark Smith on amphetamines, but went 2-0 down. Then the tables started to turn and Simon got back into the game. Bill, among other things started to get upset with people clapping when Simon won some points. His complaints worked against him as many of us clapped all the more, even when it was an unforced error from him.

    In the final game Simon was in the ascendancy at around 9-9, and a great cross court volley was a winner, but Bill was in too close and the follow through caught Bill’s forehead and blood was drawn. Bill came back 5 minutes later with a plaster and they resumed, but Simon was rattled by the incident and Bill edged victory 2-3.

    By now 5ths had finished and Piotr (no 4) took to Court 3 versus David MacGregor. Piotr played good squash and could have won by sticking to that. But, as usual he falls into unjustified remonstrations with markers when he should get on with the game. His opponent had to start doing the same to even things out, and Kevin had a hard game to mark. Piotr edged the 4th game 17-14 for a 3-1 win – our first one of the night, and very good work from Piotr.

    Meanwhile David Wilson at No 3 went on Court against Ryan Elie, and quickly dispatched him in a very comfortable 3-0 victory – so quick that I saw none of it. Returning to good form, obviously (tickets on sale for this month’s mini league clash between old rivals Reilly and Wilson).

    A decider then for the Colonel against Andy Simpson. It was all too easy going 2-0 up with ease. If I was talking about golf you could say I was 5 up at the turn, but on the back 9 the drives were not finding the fairways (drives too loose), irons were coming up short (hitting the tin) and short game was pesh (crap at drops and boasts) With 2 holes to go the opponent had the edge … back to squash now … and was 8-5 up in the 5th game. But I found some heart and discipline from somewhere and finished the game off 15-10, winning 3-2.

    So 12-9 became 15-9 and a useful mid table engagement. For once the Colonel felt like a leader, playing a captains role – it felt good; it’s why we play. It’s not supposed to be entirely about winning but it felt significant tonight. And getting home the doggies got a tender pat on the head rather than getting booted down the stairs.

    And I never thought I would do this, but I awarded man of the match to Bill Hunter. He played a brave and determined game.


  3. December 17, 2009 at 1:20 am

    DLWE 3 Team v Ayr
    With mayhem going on all around the 3rd Team lost comprehensively to a strong Ayr team who would not be out of place in the upper reaches of Div 2.

    Kenny Lumsden v Robert Sommerville – Lost 0 – 3
    Alastair Baird v Stuart Mitchell – Lost 1 – 3
    Ben Mazzucco v Dougie King – Lost 0 – 3
    Douglas McMillan v Ian McGill – Lost 2 – 3
    Alastair McKenzie v Donald Morrison – Lost 2 – 3

    Alastair McK was first up and in a close match alternated games against his opponent. Unfortunately it was games 1,3 and 5 he lost, but a lot of good squash played – largely ignored as the crowd had migrated to watch the battle on Court 2.

    Douglas McMillan next up against Ian McGill. After a poor first game Douglas started rallying and moving his opponent round and Ian McGill was using his experience to take more time between points. Douglas lost out narrowly in 5 and occasionally lost a run of points after dwelling too long on poor marking decisions but good performance for home team man of the match.

    Ben was next up against the even more experienced Dougie King. Two close games at the beginning, but he was unable to put Dougie under enough pressure off his high lobs and lost the 3rd quite comprehensively.

    I was next on against running machine Stuart. I surprised myself by winning the first, but the quality of shot worsened as tiredness crept in and despite a slight rally in 4th was well beaten.

    Similar pattern for Kenny at number 1. Lost out narrowly 17-15 in first but thereafter struggled against a player who was faster and didn’t make mistakes.

    Important to record a good result next week against fellow relegation contenders Whitecraigs Rugby.



  4. January 7, 2010 at 12:48 am

    DLWE 1st Team Match Report 16th December 2009
    Well well,

    First of all – a **big** thanks to everyone in the lower teams for being on standby due to some players work commitments.

    In the end – the team was David, Lee, Andrew, Derek and David.

    David lost 3-0 to Douglas Emery
    Lee lost to Matt Anderson 3-1
    Andrew beat Archie Pollock 3-0
    Derek lost to Allan 3-0
    David lost to Colin 3-1

    Team lost – 18-5

    I only got there at 2015 – and saw the last 2 games of Lee’s match. Playing significantly better – he was unlucky not to take the 3rd game. I actually played quite well – and snuffed my opponent out quite quickly. Derek should have at least got a game – lack of match sharpness here. David was off quick due to other engagement – so he probably should pick up another COTM award. Im sure he didn’t mark either.

    Anyway – 1st half is finished. Its been really tuff – and we’ve probably done as well as to be expected, but Im sure we’re now 2nd bottom – and definitely in the danger zone for relegation – with no real sign of crawling out.

    Hey ho.

  5. January 7, 2010 at 12:49 am

    DLWE 3rd Team Match Report 16th december 2009
    A lower end of table tussle.

    At 4 & 5, Kevin and David W were up against some real youngsters making Dougie and ?Ben seem like beer swilling students. Both won 3-0 comfortably, but David W wants it to be known that his opponent was Scottish under 13 No 1,. Whereas Kevin has no such claim to fame.

    At No 3 I played Andy Walker, and whilst I played alright at times, other times I didn’t and he was too good, pummeling me 3-0. Never judge a player by the knock up. I thought victory would be mine, and was wondering whether I’d need to give him a couple of points.

    At No 2 Alastair Mackenzie lost 3-1 to Alvar Kenwell in a game he would admit was not his best.

    So, young Douglas at No 1 for the decider v Crawford Steven, and it went all the way with Douglas moving ahead to clinch it 15-9. The best squash I have seen Douglas play, and a significant step forward tonight displaying ability and a cool head for the important points.

    So a 13-7 win, which probably keeps us 3rd bottom. However with strengthening squad, should receiver to mid table by March.

    Enjoy your festivities you all.


  6. January 7, 2010 at 12:50 am

    4th Team v Allander 16th December 2009
    Well with all the shuffling around it more like the 5th team playing
    Allander 2 last night

    Hopes of a reasonable result were dealt a severe blow once we started
    playing, on first was uncle Bill at No.4 against Norrie McMillan and the
    first game was over very quickly with Bill losing 15-5. In the second game
    Bill got his eye in and started playing some half decent squash only to go
    down 11-15, it was all over by the 3rd game and Bill lost 3-0 to an opponent
    he would normally do better against.

    Next up was George Allan against Sandy Orr, sadly for us George did not get
    going until the third game, he was in a commanding position but managed to
    snatch a defeat from the jaws of victory in the 3rd game.

    I was up against Gordon Todd, who had beaten me 3-0 the last time we played,
    so hey ho.. anyway I got off to a good start winning 15-13, then lost 10-15,
    won 15-9, lost 15-17, was 8-2 up in the third thought I had it in the bag
    relaxed and lost 15-17 after putting a drop in the tin at game ball –

    Simon played Ken Ferrie next and despite a close first 2 games, he lost 15-5
    in the 3rd

    As so to the Pole Dancer, who having paced up and down at the back of the
    court complaining about the cold was itching to get going, pity nobody was
    keen to mark his game!

    One unsuspecting Allander player volunteered much to the amusement of DLWE
    players and after some suppressed laughter Sandy was marking.

    As usual with Peter’s games it was a long drawn out affair with mistakes,
    strokes, lets and blocking galore form the players and the occasional odd
    decision from the marker!

    Peter got off to a good start winning the first 17-15, lost the next 8-15,
    lost the 3rd 14-17, won the fourth 17-16, then lost the 5th 13-15. Both
    players won MOM.

    So a comprehensive defeat 4-18 to round off the first half of the season.

    First matches are on 6th Jan 2010, so go easy at New Year, we don’t want to
    peak too early!

    Have a good time one and all!



  7. January 14, 2010 at 2:34 am

    1st Team Match Report 7th January 2010
    HNY to all. Looks to me like some of us have been over indulging over the festive break. I’m just glad that my training regime and 2 weeks of abstinence has started to pay some dividends.

    Team was David, Richard, Jason, Lee & me.
    David lost to Mark Ford…………….0-3
    Richard lost to Paul Sweeney…..0-3
    Jason lost to Michal Cockburn….0-3
    Lee lost to Allan Susskind………..1-3
    Andrew beat John Bannister…….3-0
    Team lost – 15-5

    Jason had a relatively close game with his opponent. Unlucky not to make it to 2-2.

    I played exceptionally well and deserved MOTM if not MOTS (season!) with a commanding win at 5. Reckon I will need to challenge some of the turkies above me and put them back where they belong.

    Lee lost to 3-1 to a crafty old player – capitulated at 8-8 in the 4th. Should have done better.

    Richard, even with his levels of skill & dexterity, managed to play some pretty dyer stuff, and loose 3-zipper – although a spirited fightback in the 3rd gave him 8 points. He should have taken at least 1 game. Must do better next time.

    David. Well – what can I say. I’ve seen some s***e in my time – this was pretty good s***e. Anyway – least said the better. He was up against Fordy who’s pretty good. When asked if he wanted to do some training between now and next Wednesday he retorted with “aye – gonnae geez some ah that murder stuff yae dae” – i think this means he’s up for some work!!



  8. January 14, 2010 at 2:36 am

    2nd Team Match Report 7th January 2010
    Good win tonight 16:6 at home to Western.

    1. Ashley Stevenson. Tough gig on a cold court (No 3), ground out an excellent 3:2 win. Arrived late, left early

    2. Steve Elms gets man of the match for a solid 3:1 win against seasoned campaigner Brian Dunn.

    3. Douglas Cardiff lost 1:3 against a very awkward and annoying(ly good) individual.

    4. Garry Dixon wins 3:0, looked in control throughout

    5. I win 3:0, need challenged more this game is too easy

  9. January 14, 2010 at 2:37 am

    4th Team Match Report 7th January 2010
    Naturally we expected to surprise these Maryhill boys who beat us 15-3 back in September – however we were fielding a much stronger side than the losers back in the Autumn!

    Well we lost 18-4

    David Wilson lost 3-2 at No 5 v David Shaw
    Kevin Reilly lost 3-0 at 4 to Maggie Dick
    Graham Sanders lost 3-2 at 3 to Paul Snee
    Al Mackenzie lost 3-0 at 2 to Roddy Grindlay
    Al Baird lost 3-0 at 1 to John Thistle

    The result should have been 17-6. David W and I should have won. David, because he actually did win 17-16 in the final game, with a tight drop just above the tin front left. The opponent challenged calling it down but he was unsighted from the tee, and was trying it on. We had a better view from the balcony and we all saw the ball up (including SSRC), except Kevin. But Kevin’s final piece of marking was barely audible, and David walked off court happy with his victory – until Kevin explained the other guy has won.

    I should have won, having come back from 2 down to lead 14-7 in final game, but lost 15-14. McSherry would be awarding me COTM. I may need sporting psychology assistance, or maybe I learned something from this easing off capitulation.

    Too may had far too much turkey and goose over Xmas. Kevin and David especially but also the two Alastairs. Very sluggish like bears coming out of hibernation a month too soon, or snakes crawling onto a stone in the Trossach’s Spring heather, but the thin sunshine too weak to warm up their cold sleepy blood. In contrast though, at times, on crucial points David W especially put in superhuman efforts to get to balls, that even a fit person might leave.

    Kevin was pesh, and started to introduce McEnroe-esque rants earlier than normal against an improving female who always really had the edge. Kevin will feel he could have done better.

    Al Mackenzie had some ridiculous decisions go against him early on. 2 of his hard serves were defo up, but called down, and a decent drop was deemed faulty. This didn’t help, and whilst we saw some of the good Alastair at times, he was generally rusty. The other guy was foot-faulting with impunity (that means without fear of punishment), at least 30% were faulty serves. I politely mentioned this to the marker, but he said “I know; I don’t do anything about that”. If it happens against me, I might try a serve from the tee, to see how that goes down.

    Al Baird was also up against a good opponent, John Thistle. And we only saw glimpses of the Bairdhound’s best squash (sometimes fleeting, sometimes prolonged). John kept several layers on, including what looked like a winter jacket and some insulated trackie bottoms – it was quite cold.

  10. January 14, 2010 at 2:40 am

    3rd Team Match Report 7th January 2010 v Western 5Paul at number 1 played a very awkward player called Ian Campbell and lost 3-0.

    Kenny at number 2 played well in the last 2 games but left it to late in the end and lost 3-1 to Euan Mclean.

    Ben played Alistair Haydock at number 3 and he managed to get two games against the left hander, but lost narrowly 3-2.

    I played at number 4 against a lecturer (David Cooke) – who some how managed to think I was attending university! I won 3-1.

    Finally Mark was playing Greg Pegg at number 5, I didn’t see much of the game, but according to Mark he started off well getting 2-0 up, he then lost his drop shot and lost 3-2.



  11. January 21, 2010 at 1:28 am

    1st Team Match Report – 13th January 2010

    Happy Days.
    Those turkeys that turned up on Sunday for desperately needed training after last weeks abysmal performance clearly upped their game significantly this week. All round a great performance from the troops.

    David lost to Andy “Prince” Philips 3-0
    Richard beat An Other 3-1
    Jason lost to Michal “Rogan Josh” Currie 3-0
    Lee beat Kevin “trickle boast” Lawlor 3-2
    Andrew beat Alistair “The Biscuit” McVittie3-2

    Team won – 12-11

    David lost convincingly at 1. Didnt see his match – but was assured that he did try. Games were close – so really could have got another point.

    Jason was up against tuff opposition. Ex junior player – Jason struggled with his width.

    I didn’t play particularly well – but when it came down to it (2-2 all, and 2-2 in rubbers) stuffed the digestive 11-4 in the last game. Narrowly missed out on another MOTM.

    Richard bucked the trend of played 10 won 0 with a surprising win tonight. To be honest at this kind of level – he should not be surprised getting pumped week in week out – but spirited performance over the last few matches have been improving – and tonight he came up trumps. Well done Richard – you’re not COTM.

    And as for Lee – well words cant explain how pwoud (vewy pwoud) I was of him tonight. Up against none other than Kevin Lawlor (ex inter county and internationalist) albeit just back from Florida – Lee got 2-0 up, and then in usual Lee style – let him back in. At 2-2 – I told him to focus on the job and get better width. He mashed Kev up ‘propper’ in the last one – well done Lee – def MOTM.



  12. January 21, 2010 at 1:28 am

    2nd Team Match Report – 13th January 2010
    Tough night tonight against top of the league Newlands, before tonight we were in 4th place 14 points behind Western.

    1. Ashley v Peter Cumine. Ash wins 3:0 but it was harder than the score suggests, Peter was as fast as a fast thing with less body fat than my racket. Ash arrives traditionally late and leaves spectacularly early and owes £2 on the kitty money.

    2. Steve Elms v Emma Ford. Steve wins 3:0 and played very well. Emma seamed a bit out of sorts tonight on court, happens to us all.

    3. Garry Dickson v John Rae (i think). Garry loses 0:3 to a very tricky opponent who simply didn’t allow Garry to settle into any kind of rhythm.

    4. Doug Cardiff v Roy Nicol. Doug loses 2:3 in a horrible game to watch, 90% of the match was played up the middle of the court resulting in a let and stroke fest, ghastly.

    5. Rob Mac v Jon Barnes. I win 3:1 and was outstanding, thoroughly deserved MOM award and gave poor Jon (charming man) his first defeat of the season.

    A terrific 14:7 win over the mighty league leaders, well done one and all.

    Kind Regards,

    Robert Mac

  13. January 21, 2010 at 1:29 am

    3rd Team Match Report – 13th January 2010
    Here goes my spelling error, free match report!

    We were at home to Newlands 5 ;
    On at number 1 was Paul playing Nicky Mcleod. He began well but ended up pulling a muscle in his leg in the 3rd game. Paul lost 3-0.

    At number 2 was Kenny against Diane Hazlett a very good player! Kenny went 2-1 down, managed to win the 4th but lost the 5th game narrowly 15-12 – played well though!

    Number 3 was Ben against a pretty awkward Greig Neilson. Ben lost 3-1 but all of the games were fairly close. Deserved more from the match, another good performance!

    Number 4 was me, i beat Brian Bolamd 3-1 and was awarded M.O.M!

    At 5 was mark who played the second strong girl in the Newlands team, Mark lost 3-1 after a promising start, winning the first game 17-15!

    Hopefully there are no spelling mistakes in this one!


  14. January 21, 2010 at 1:32 am

    5th Team Match Report – 13th January 2010
    The 5th team were playing Glasgow Uni 2 last night. In the past this have been a relatively easy victory but this season there has been new blood added to Glasgow Uni and the 2nd team are riding high as top team in the division.We had hopes of sneaking a couple of wins lower down but we fell short of the mark and lost 5-16.

    First on was uncle Bill and despite a battling performance went down 2-3 to a player probably 50 years younger than him

    The Pole Dancer was on next as he wanted away early and promptly lost 0-3. A very subdued Piotr did not even argue with the marker once. Asked after the game why this was he replied that he was too pish to argue!

    George was up next and put in the performance of the night winning 3-1 and not even splitting his shorts in the process! MOM

    I then played and lost 0-3 to a player with long legs, long arms and a long reach. He took one step to my 3 and I just could not get the ball past him to make any winners.

    Simon was on last and despite a battling performance lost 0-3 to a strong player with a good touch at the front.



  15. January 28, 2010 at 1:37 am

    1st Team Match Report – 20th January 2010
    We had an unusual high return of points tonight against a weekened Cameron House team who were missing their No.1. Every point valuable at this level so great result.

    The scores are below, but in summary DC, Lee and Ashley did a professional job and all played well with comfortable wins. Jason played the worst squash I have ever seen him play in his 2nd game but did very well overall to grind out a 3-2 win against a very tricky and unortodox opponent (13-11 in the 5th). Marking Jason’s game must have had an effect on me cause I played like him for my whole match!! Worst I have played this season by a mile (and still won – its a strange league this!!).


    DC v Rolf Harris/Hansen – 3 1 win. 11-1, 13-11, 9-11, 11-9

    Richard (Definately) Cant(p)lay v Alan Barbour – 3 1 win. 14-12, 11-6, 7-11, 11-6

    Lee v Andy McGroarty – 3 zip win. 10-5, 10-6, 10-9 according to whoever filled in the sheet (presumably they did play up to 11 so 10 equals 11).

    Jason v Gus McCuag – 3-2 win. 11-6, 6-11, 7-11, 11-8, 13-11

    Ashley v Jim Paton – 3 zip win. 11-6, 11-7, 11-7

    MOTM would have gone to Jase for digging out a good win any other week, however pipped at the post by Ashley who played well in what was his first appearance for 1sts and taking into account he was in hospital on Monday.

    COTM – AMCS – just because

    Night night


  16. January 28, 2010 at 1:38 am

    2nd Team Match Report – 20th January 2010
    Not the best night at the office

    15:9 loss away to Wanderers.

    1. Derek Lavender V Alex Lyle. Derek loses 1:3 to a very good player, but felt he deserved more from the match, probably right, certainly made his opponent work hard for his win.

    2. Douglas Cardiff V Tom Clancy. Doug loses 1:3, did well to get a game against perhaps the most awkward and unorthodox player in the West!

    3. Garry Dickson v Vic Halec. Garry wins 3:1, didn’t see the game but Garry must have played well as Vic knows his way round a court.

    4. Rob Mac v Gordon Spowart. Fatty gets gubbed 1:3. One game a week on a Wednesday is far from ideal, must do better.

    5. Doug Mac v Mike Dewar. Doug wins 3:2 and gets MOTM award and is beginning to annoy me!!

    I suppose 9 points away from home is not a disaster, but we were expecting so much better.


  17. January 28, 2010 at 1:38 am

    3rd Team Match Report – 20th January 2010
    Felt cold tonight, standing outside the Broomhill Club in dreachie drizzle from 6.45 to circa 7.00. 1st person to turn up was David Craig (only joking).

    A mid/bottom table clash, well we’re 4 points behind them having recorded one more result than them – time to get some distance between us and the danger zone.

    I would say that Broomhill is one of these sides where there’s a big variance in play across their players, and for us to get a result the lower order players should get the points.

    So, at No 5 the Colonel’s task was clear as I ventured onto the coldest court in Glasgow against a tall aging racket player called Bob Whitesmith. He was carrying an injury and could barely move, but he made me look pesh, and I was pesh of course. A cold court accentuates your technical deficiencies, but Kenny Lumsden gave some award winning advice and encouragement between games, so I leveled the match twice, before the final game. Managed to pull through with a bit of heart and a lucky nick at the crucial stage. Won 3-2

    Meanwhile Ben Mazzucco at No 1 against Stuart McElvie who beat Bairdhound 3-0 in October. Well Ben reversed that score with an impressive victory adapting superbly to courts so very different to the ones he’s used to. Won 3-0. Superb.

    At No 3 Mark (E) Smith up against good squash player Stewart Ross. Smithy won the 1st game, but didn’t quite deliver his usual result this time. Played well, tried very hard, staying in rallies which should long have been over. Unlucky not to win the 4th, and so The Fall was 3-1 loss

    Meanwhile at No 4, Bairdhound against Phil McFadyen who beat rising star young Macmillan in the Autumn. I only saw the final game, which like all their 5 games was very close. Bairdster having narrowly lost games 2 and 3. Anyway he pulled through 15-13 in final game, which fine achievement secured us the all important third win. Won 3-2

    This was a relief to Kenny Lumsden at No 2 who had a tough task against Alastair Pickard. Kenny was very good at times keeping in contention, but then his opponent would move ahead with a succession of points. Always going to be difficult, Kenny didn’t come out on top.

    Lost 3-0 but his presence meant he rest of us were all competing one place down, and he urged me on in my game.

    So, a 13-10 victory, a good result on very cold and unfamiliar territory.

    Nite Nite


  18. January 28, 2010 at 1:38 am

    4th Team v Newlands 7 – victory for 4th team 14 – 8
    No. 1 Al Mackenzie v Gordon Littlejohn 3-1 victory. Al played very well and only lost the second game 15-17. Totally in control of the match – must have been the restring!

    No. 2 Kevin v Douglas McArthur 2-3 loss. Kev played outstanding squash to win the first 2 games, then started to run out of steam, took a breather in the 3rd and got thrashed 5-15, came back a bit in the 4th but lost 11-15. Down to the decider and despite being ahead in the last game eventually lost 13-15.

    No. 3 David Wilson v Michael McCusker 3-0 win (MOTM) Excellent performance from David, tight drives, drops and the odd reverse boast thrown in.

    No. 4 Me v Bernard Dunn 0-3 loss. Got off to a slow start losing the fist to 5, was ahead in the second and third games but when got to 12 points mental block started and lost 12-15, 13-15 – bummer.

    No. 5 The Pole Dancer v Frank Logie 3-1 win. Back to winning ways for our Polish import, we knew he was getting back to some sort of form when he started arguing with the marker.

    All in all a good win for the 4th team.

    Food excellent, baked potatoes with tuna, chicken tikka or cheese and salad!



  19. January 28, 2010 at 1:42 am

    5th Team Match Report – 20th January 2010
    With the 5ths propping up league 7 this was a good chance to make up some ground on the team one place ahead of us:

    No. 5) Bob Ballantyne vs Loretta MacLeod- Bob was first up. Loretta came out with a fairly simple game plan. Hit everything short or reverse angles. She’s also the only person I’ve ever seen to hit her first 3 serves all wildly out of court. Bob had the reading of the game from early on & completed a good 3-0 win 15-11, 15-10 & 15-11

    No 4) Donald McKinnon vs Graeme Taylor- Donald is fast becoming the 5 game king for the 5th team. In a very close game Donald lost the first in a close game before taking the next two. I think his previous weeks long matches then caught up with him and he ran out of steam a little eventually losing 3-2 (13-15, 15-10, 15-12, 8-15, 9-15)

    No.3) Me vs Angus MacKay- Now I’m not saying that Angus is old but apparently God said “Let there be light” & Angus hit the switch! Unfortunately however the old bugger can still run. I took the first game quite comfortably & looked to be doing well. However a complete lack of concentration made me lose the next 2 in close games. After giving myself a slap around the head & cracking my racket against the wall in anger I won the 4th on extra points after being match points down to take it into the decider. At 13-11 up I then played the worst 3 points you’ll ever see to give Angus match points again. Thankfully I then managed to salvage it to 14-14, then 16-16 and it went to the final point of the match. Needless to say I bottled it & the old bugger won 17-16. A thoroughly entertaining match & we both won MOTM awards, although I should have won COTM for not winning (15-12, 12-15, 12-15, 17-14, 16-17)

    No.4) Craig Paris vs David Claxton- I never watched most of this match but I dont think that Craig ever really got going against quite a tricky opponent. In the end he lost 3-0 (6-15, 8-15, 9-15)

    No.5) George Allan vs Brendan Maguire- with the overall match already lost it was George’s turn to restore some pride against a player who took the pace of of everything. Brendan played everthing short with no pace or high lobs to the back. Both players seemed equally subdued. Its the only game I’ll ever seen where both players in the middle of the 3rd game stop, look at the clock & check what time last orders at the bar are! After hearing that there was only 45mins of drinking time left Brendan came to life & finished off George 3-0 (9-15, 10-15, 6-15)

    So overall we went down 7-15 & stay rooted at the bottom of the league. I think it could be a long season!!

  20. February 4, 2010 at 12:15 am

    1st Team Match Report – 27th January 2010
    Short effort cause didn’t see any other games although not one for Jason’s website:

    We got pumped 18-3 by SSRC.

    By the time I got there Lee (3) and Steve (5) had both lost 3 zip against what were good players and both had left the building by time me and DC were stripped!

    Ashley (4) did well to get a game against his guy but seemed to become frustrated/angry with decisions. Last seen storming out front door as I was warming up!!

    I got beat 3- 2 by younger brother of their No 1. The first 4 rallies of 1st game honestly lasted at least 10 minutes between them and each ended in a let – at this point I was already knackered and was thinking it was ‘chips and home’ so happy to get 2 games in the end (and witness/add to my opponents mega strop inbetween 4th and 5th games about me apparently pushing him – marker from his team said ‘no let’ – I emptied him off court with some quick witted chat, but unfortunately he emptied me on it in the 5th!!

    DC got pumped by their number 1 (Steve Halliday) who is very good player. DC carrying knee injury. Really needs to make a decision between Elgin City and DLWE 1 – although I can see it’s a tricky one given both teams are pish!!

    Enough pizza to feed the Taran Army at an away game.

    Night night

    I don’t even need to say who COTM award goes to.

  21. February 4, 2010 at 12:17 am

    3rd Team Match Report – 27th January 2010
    Big ask tonight against top of the league Strathclyde Uni, but we had a strong team and were straining at the leash to get at them.

    All of US there pumped up and ready at 18:45 prompt…..not a hint of the opposition….at 19:21 precisely in wandered one of our guests, half asleep and without a racket….need to revisit the rules, I thought it was 18:45 for 19:00 start and there were penalties for lateness!!!!

    Anyway by 19:30 2/3rds of them had arrived and the first game started.

    5. Al Bairdhound v Findlay (sleepy) McGhee. Findlay woke up briefly in the first game and won it, Al then came out of shock and promptly rattled through the next 3 games and won 3:1 and got the MOTM award, well deserved.

    4. Mark the Spark v Lee Mackinnon. This was the most even match of the night, Mark worked like a dog to win the first game before narrowly losing the second. The third went to 14 all and would have been stopped if it was a boxing match, Mark just lost this one and the next to lose 1:3.

    3. Ben the boy v Alistair Hamilton. Was marking while this one was on but Ben nearly won the first and gave a great account.

    2. Doug the boy v John McIntyre. Same as Ben, good start and just lost the first but out smarted thereafter. Very impressed however at how the boys are progressing, showing greater maturity every week and clearly getting p…’d off at losing to what are very good players…good signs.

    1. Rab Haw v Joe McDonald. Joe is an old adversary from St Al’s days, clearly remembered I am a season ticket holder at Ibrox, wore as much green as possible and during the warm up reminded me of the results at the weekend….. it worked, I lost 0:3.

    Final score 4:16, on another night we could have got a few more points but they are very strong and a decent bunch.

  22. February 4, 2010 at 12:17 am

    4th Team Match Report – 27th January 2010
    4th team had a good 15-7 win against Largs who are five places above us in second place.

    Scores were as follows
    1. Graham S beat Frank Davidson 5/15, 10/15, 15/12 FD retired injured
    2. Alastair M lost to Graeme Bamford 13/15, 12/15, 3/15
    3. Kevin R beat Andy Auld 15/9, 15/10, 11/15, 15/9
    4. David W beat Iain Cameron 10/15, 15/4, 15/10, 15/13
    5. Simon Pollock beat Colin Bellew 17/16, 15/11, 15/14

    The first on was the Colonel who initially struggled a bit against Frank who had beaten Young Doug 3-1 in the first half. Frank was playing a good combination of drives and drops and took the first two games fairly comfortably. The Colonel then tightened up his game in the third and was slowly wearing down the 62 year old Frank. The third was very close but the Colonel kept his nose in front and eased home 15/12. Frank then confirmed he had pulled his calf a few rallies earlier and retired.

    I was on next against Iain Cameron who many of you will know is slightly older, slightly bigger and slightly slower than me (difficult to believe, but true). However he does have very good racket skills including good drops and lobs. I have played Iain several times over the years and knew what to expect – no real rallies but plenty of lobs crawling down the side walls and drops played at any opportunity. I lost the first game but following some advice from Kevin played better, and won the next three without too much of a problem. I remembered Kevin beat him 3-0 a couple of years ago and kept telling myself if Kevin beat him then there’s no way I’m going to lose!

    Next on was Alistair against Graeme Bamford who beat me 3-2 in the first half. The first two games were very close with plenty of hard drives but Graeme won both. Not sure what happened in the third but Alastair lost it 15/3. Graeme is a difficult player who makes very few mistakes and plays a tight game. Graeme won MOTM.

    Simon was on next and his opponent Colin had some nice shots but was very unfit. You always got the impression that if Simon managed to keep the rallies going he was always going to win. Simon stuck to his task well and drove the ball about, retrieved as much as possible and even played drops at the right times. He has definitely improved and Jason`s coaching is paying off. Very good performance overall.

    Kevin was on last against Andy who beat him 3-2 in the first half. However Kevin is playing better now following recovery from a knee injury. Kevin dropped the third game but overall had a fairly comfortable win despite never being sure what the score was due to the marker mumbling. Kevin’s constant questioning on the score added a light touch to an otherwise uneventful Wednesday evening in Largs. He won MOTM and also deserves a vote of thanks for driving us all down to Largs and back.

    Overall and excellent win and we are too good to be in 7th position in this league. Just a pity we had a poor start due to call offs and unavailable players in the other teams. However there are seven games left and if we have full strength teams for the run in, then promotion is not impossible.



  23. February 4, 2010 at 12:17 am

    5th Team Match Report – 27th January 2010
    Last night’s match was against Western 6
    5. Paul Forsyth lost 3-0. Paul played better than he has for the last few weeks, but lack of composure when in a winning position let him down.

    4. Craig Paris won 3-1. Craig playing an old chap ran the legs off him with a good display of controlled aggression – the blood stained shirt at the end of the match showed just how much effort Craig put in.

    Next up at No.1 was our Polish dentist who wanted home early to tend to his unwell girlfriend and promptly lost the first game 15-0 (who said you could not get a granny using PAR scoring). Things were looking bad in the second game until Peter got a stroke, this seemed to spur him into action and he won a few more points in the second game. The 3rd game was a bit closer but Peter was always going to be second best to his opponent and lost 3-0

    3. George was on against Tom and what a battle this turned out to be nip and tuck all the way with George moving better around the court (his streamlined new haircut obviously made him more aerodynamic). The games ebbed and flowed and either player could have won the game but George hung in there and won the match 15-13 in the 5th. Don’t know if he won MOTM but he definitely got haircut of the week.

    So with the match tied at 2 matches all it was up to Capt. Mazzucco to play for the glory, and to add to the pressure I had to play a female. Surprise surprise I managed to win 3-0 and played quite well for a change.

    A win for DLWE 5 – 12-9



  24. February 11, 2010 at 10:42 am

    1st Team Match Report – 3rd February 2010
    DLWE v Strathgryffe (second in the league)

    Playing against second top of the league while ravaged with injuries ain’t a good combo.
    Lost 4:17

    1. Davie Craig v Martin Woods. Davie lost 0:3 to the legend that is Martin Woods, a stroll for Martin but Davie gave it his all and a good account of himself picking up 17 points in the match against the maestro.

    2. Lee Gunn v Chris Patrick. Lee plays extremely well to win 3:2 and the thoroughly deserved the MOTM award.

    3. Jason G v James Dare. Jason lost 0:3 played well and won enough points to take a couple of games, deserved more from this one.

    4. Steve Elms v Ross Lawrie. Steve lost 0:3 to Ross, a former junior internationalist!!! Lovely player and clearly coached by Jason B………so was Ross.

    4. Boaby Mac v Gary McIlree. Boaby lost 1:3 to an opponent who has yet to sweat, welcome to Div 1.

    Scores entered on web and report done by 22:30, jim jams on, beer in hand and highlights of gers game to come……….Carlsberg dont do Wed nights!!!!

  25. February 11, 2010 at 10:43 am

    3rd Team Match Report – 3rd February 2010
    We made our way thru the snow, Alastair Mackenzie by train then taxi; what commitment and were there by 6.15pm to ensure an early start.

    No 5. David Wilson lost comfortably 3-0 I am told; didn’t see the game.

    No 4. Kevin getting tetchy on court, a little annoyed with things (his game, the marker) but did well to win a game. Lost 3-1

    No 3. Al Mackenzie v Mike Gallagher. Al lost 3-0 comfortably, but in his words “he hadn’t been feeling himself lately”, whatever that means.

    No 2. I lost 3-0 to Simon Christian, got close on game 2. very hard hitting (makes A Mackenzie’s serves look blouse like) but that’s no excuse (nor indeed my cold).

    No 1. John Turner versus Colin ?. John, our new man, northern accent, twas in Scottish Borders he developed as squash player. 1st team game since 1992. He gave his man a game. John had his opponent with his disguised drops and lobs to great length, making few mistakes, he was taking on a near mystical quality as the saviour for the third team. Let the 1st go from a 12-8 lead, but won the 2nd. Lost the 3rd and the 4th was very close lost to 15-13. so, lost 3-1. Hard to be critical, but perhaps fitness was the determining factor. John was huffing and puffing a lot. Indeed, after a 4 minute break between games 1 and 2, he was still puffing when he came back on court!

    So, all in all, an 18-2 defeat. Perhaps it is just as well that we should have such a depleted side when up against one of the stronger sides. We need better teams for the weaker sides to avoid relegation. And Bairdhound texts from the Alps to say he has injured his arm skiing and will be out next week. Shame on him!


  26. February 11, 2010 at 10:44 am

    4th Team Match Report – 3rd February 2010
    4th Team v Wanderers 2
    The Wanderers wandered in on a snowy night at 7.10, so much for a 6.45 start!

    1. Piotrek v Tom Bowman. Piotrek lost 0-3 but got off to a better start this week by winning the first point. Close first 2 games 13-15, 12-15 but ran out of steam and lost 3rd 3-15
    2. Simon from Pollock v David Heffernan (MOTM). Simon lost 0-3; 8-15, 10-15, 13-15, but David had to work hard for every point
    3. Mazz v Craig Jones. Lost 1-3; 9-15, 5-15, 15-10, 9-15. Now suffering with tennis/squash elbow and out for next 2 weeks.
    4. George v John McTiernan. George lost 1-3; 15-7, 14-15, 5-15, 12-15. A close game which George should have won. Lost his composure due to some marking decisions and chat from his opponent on court.
    5. Uncle Bill fresh from hibernation v Gerry Henry. Bill won 3-1; 13-15, 15-11, 15-4, 15-6. After a slow start Bill found his form and move his opponent about the court with his usual reverse boast and tight angles.



  27. February 11, 2010 at 10:45 am

    5th Team Match Report – 3rd February 2010
    We unfortunately only managed to get 4 players together so defaulted on the 5th game before we even started.

    No.4) First up was Malcolm (en-route to a night out) vs David McPherson- think Malcolm must have had his dinner & a few pints on his mind. Didnt play that well & easily beaten 3-0 (15-6,15-7, 15-4)

    No 3) Donald vs Stuart McKenzie- as usual Donald put in a good shift against an experienced opponent. First 3 games were very close but Donald ran out of steam in the 4th going down 3-1 (15-11, 15-8, 12-15, 15-4)

    No 2) I was next up vs Finlay McGhee. I played like a complete tw** in the first & lost in easily. Managed to make it competitive in the 2nd & 3rd but still went down 3-0 to quite a good player (15-3, 15-10, 15-7)

    No 1) Andrew was last up vs Lee Mackinnon, a very handy player with an 11-3 record this season including wins against Mark Smith & Al McKenzie. Andrew played extremely well & every game was very competitive but unfortunately he went down 3-0 (15-11, 15-7, 15-9)

    So all in all a right royal pumping for the 5ths, at least Donald won a game however & saved the granny!



  28. February 19, 2010 at 12:25 am

    2nd Team Match Report – 10th February 2010
    Away to Giffnock tonight who on arrival confessed to having their strongest team of the season so far..hmm, we’ll see about that!!

    First up at 5 Paul Hannah v the very clever and experienced player Ed Swan. Paul played Ed at his own game i.e. crafty tight drops at the front and walks off with an impressive 3:0 win.

    Next up Doug the boy v Mr hard hitting and quick. Doug snatched defeat from the jaws of victory, was 2:0 up, but was ultimately ground down by a very handy opponent.

    Me at 3 v Andy ???. An ugly match that could have gone either way, somehow I managed to drag my lardy ass around the court to reasonable effect and sneaked it 3:2.

    Doug the man next v the Giffnock ferret. Doug won enough points to get at least a game but was outlasted by a very fit opponent and lost 0:3.

    2 matches each and all set for the big finish, Steve E v Colin (tennis coach and former div one player). Missed most of this one but it must have been tight, unfortunately Steve went down 2:3.

    Final score 10:14. Not a bad effort for an away match against strong opposition with at least a couple of men down.


  29. February 19, 2010 at 12:26 am

    3rd Team Match Report – 10th February 2010
    Anyone not connected with the Squash Section, and on looking down the Squash corridor last night would have been excused for thinking the assembled mass (sic) resembled the crowd scene from “Ben Hurr” Alas it was just the normal assortment of unfit old guys ready to do Battle with anyone who got in their way.

    With the scent of Blood, Guts and Snaughters heavy in the night air…the competition got underway.

    The 3rd team once again showing a changed line up, put young Ben (how apt) playing at 1,into battle 1st against another young buck from David Lloyd Renfrew Jason. As a point of note the combined ages of both competitors was under 30……in what was a good match to watch and indeed drew the biggest crowd of the night, Ben was piped at the post by Jason a guy he has indeed beaten in the past. Lost 2-3

    Up next our resident electrician Mark,(playing at 4) who was itching to get wired in to level the scores. Things did not get off to a good start as Mark lost the 1st game, as I went to give my usual pep talk before the start of the 2nd game, I was quickly rebuffed and told in no uncertain terms that he had the situation under control. True to his word Mark went about the next 3 games as though the “Taliban” were marching through Anniesland Cross. Well done Mark. Win 3-1

    Up next and pumped up and with 6 Ibuprofen coursing through his damaged and broken body was Nic Coleman. (playing at 4)This was a demonstration in hard hitting and living on the premise that you never give a “sucker an even break” Nic destroyed his opponent 3-0.

    The night just kept getting better, as the smell of “testosterone” was receding in popped the “fragrant” Linda to lend her support for the night, a welcome sight for those of us to don’t get out much.

    Up on court neat was the silent assassin John Turner. Playing 3 and without a bye your leave John was back in changing room before you could say “What you’ve lost the black bag” winning 3-0

    I won at 2 playing a chap who, while he looked fit didn’t have the experience…much like the rest of us. I won 3-0

    David Lloyd West End 14, David Lloyd Renfrew 4 (hope I’ve got that right)


  30. February 19, 2010 at 12:27 am

    4th Team Match Report – 10th February 2010
    Billed as a festival of squash it was, 3 teams at home. Appeals went out to all visitors for early start but only Drymen mobilized.

    Match No 4. George Allan v Donald Stewart. Lost 1-3. As both players were ready George got upgraded to No 4 spot. Played well, and did well to secure a game, but fitness told in the end.

    Match No 5. David Wilson v Andy Duff. Won 3-0. Comfortable win.

    Match No 1. Graham Sanders v Gordon Stewart. Lost 3-0. Pesh at start, played really well (by my standards) in 3rd, but lost 12-15. I deserved that game but Donald Stewart, marking, had other ideas – he’s supposed to be a mate!

    Match No 2. Alastair Mackenzie v Brian Stewart. Won 3-2. Came back from 2-0 down to win 3-2. One of his best performances. The game will be remembered for other reasons, other observers welcome to comment.

    Match No 3. Kevin Reilly v Mark Quinn. Lost 1-3. Kevin felt his calf muscle in the warm up, but battled like a Trojan hobbling around court like Douglas Bader. Did amazingly well to win a game.

    Overall lost 8-14. 8 hard earned points.

    Colonel (on top military form tonight!)

  31. February 19, 2010 at 12:28 am

    5th Team Match Report – 10th February 2010
    The short version:
    4 epic failures & a submission

    The long version:
    No. 3) I was first up playing Alaistair Graves, a 16 year old kid full of running. I actually played very well for a change & won the first 2 games & stood ball in hand at 13-11 in the 3rd. But I must give Alastait lots of credit & he fought back brilliantly, chasing down everything. I eventually lost 2-3 in a very close game, running out of steam in the decider (15-10, 15-11, 13-15, 11-15, 5-15)

    No.2) Next was Andrew vs Frank Quail. Similar to my game Andrew looked in control after taking the 1st & 3rd games of the match. At match point in the 4th however he managed to stand on the opponents ankle & a let was given, the point was replayed & he lost it. In the decider Andrew couldnt convert a 10-9 lead finally losing 2-3 (15-10, 10-15, 15-3, 16-17, 10-15). Andrew picked up our MOTM.

    No. 5) Then it was Flash’s chance, making her return after 4 months out, vs Phil Graves. I dont know if anyone has seen the Fugitive but it started in a similar manner to that film- with a 1 armed man trying to murder someone. Phil normal plays either 1 or 2 for the Allander first team – right handed. However a chronic shoulder problem, a wrist injury & a lack of players saw him playing Andrena left handed!! Anyway, at 11-9 to Andrena in the first game Andrena played a drop, moved very slightly in the wrong direction, blocked Phil’s access to the ball & Phil ran in from behind, clattered her & they both ended up on the deck. Andrena couldnt play on after twisting her ankle & the match was given to Phil. A very hard one to call & it could easily have been given to Andrena as Phil had injured her. However it wasnt clear cut & as we’re adrfit at the bottom of the lowest division in the West it wasnt worth getting our knickers in a twist over.

    No. 4) Donald vs Joe Lovelock. Usual 5 game match from Donald, in which he led 2-0. However he finally went down 2-3 in an extremely close match (15-13, 15-13, 6-15, 15-17, 11-15)

    No. 1) Last up was Uncle Bill, hoping to show us young punks how to finish out a game, vs Ross McKenna. Fat chance! Bill took the first 2 games easily against a young fit opponent. Ross took the next well & then took the 4th in a close game. Ross now had the momentum & saw the match out. Bill losing 2-3 (15-10, 15-10, 6-15, 13-15, 10-15). MOTM award for Ross.

    A great effort from the 5th & a very late finish (10.35pm). On another night it could/should have gone our way. COTM awards all round (except Flash) from not seeing the matches out from winning positions.



  32. February 25, 2010 at 3:37 pm

    1st Team Match Report – 17th February 2010

    Evening all,
    Back to loosing ways this evening – although some very spirited efforts. Apologies in advance for the terminological in exactitudes in this report. Last 4 reports have been quite appalling in places – hopefully this one spices things up again.

    Some ones pinched the score sheets – so making this up really…

    David “Grammy” Craig -v- Jamie McAuley: David did his best to get a GILF (Granny I’d Like to Forget) – ended up getting a Ted Rodgers instead 11-3, 11-2, 11-1. Lost 3-0. Feedback from the lads is that this new fame has gone to his napper. Needs to keep the focus and forget all that telly p1sh.

    Lee “Tuna Wrap” Gunn –v- Mikey Rodgerson: Didn’t see Lee’s game – but heard he got pumped, but not quite as ferociously as DC got pumped. 11-4, 11-9, 11-4. Lost 3-0. According to the food bill – Lee managed to get a tuna wrap, a BLT, a pack of grips and a leaotard? – Rich put it on his Farenhight card – so we were ok.

    Richard “Im on the wagon – allegedly” Cantly –v- Graham McAinsh: RC really needs to pick his game up – first 2 games were complete mince. 3rd game he did as he was told, and comfortably won, ended up loosing steam and lost 3-1. Needs to do better if 1st team position is to be retained!!! 11-4, 11-4, 4-11, 11-4

    Ashley “MightyMouse” -v- Garry Blanchflower: Ash gave a very spirited performance here against a seasoned performer. He’s got buckets of determination – and sometimes this spilled over into some quite heated exchanges with the opponent, the marker, the audience and usually anyone that passed by. Suggest this energy is focused into pumping the opponent next week as opposed to debating. Lost 3-1

    Me –v- Stuart: Lost narrowly to a good young man – I mean he struck the ball quite nicely – but in the warm up I reckon I got 5 hits…… which suited me as I did not want to tire myself out. Won the 1st and 2nd games – then lost the next 3. I reckon I won at least 11 stroke points in the first 2 games alone! Good fun – but completely knackered!!

    The Giffnock guys are good – although were weaker tonight.



  33. February 25, 2010 at 3:37 pm

    4th Team Match Report – 17th February 2010
    We lost 17 – 8, but hard earned 8 points, perhaps unlucky not to get more. Hopefully our 8 are enough to keep us mid table. Bowfield are below and will have gained some ground. It was pretty much their normal team, so they haven’t suffered from the half term absenteeism.

    No.5 Simon Pollock versus John. Both similar game styles, but Simon fitter, of course. Every game went to 12, 13 or 14, but sadly Simon tensed up and found the tin too much and went down 3-0. Played well though, but was uncomfortable with Bowfield’s esoteric courts.

    No.4 The Pole Dancer versus Brad. Piotr hurt his knee in first game, but played great squash, forced to move with efficiency, won 3rd game, came close in 4th, went down 3-1. No complaints at all to marker; perhaps this is connected to his tee shirt which had “future Dad” written on orange letters across it. Piotr is clearly settling in our land, because (concerningly) his Kooor Vaars are being replaced by the English equivalent.

    No.3 David Wilson versus Russell. David W had the measure of his man, and was 2 up no trouble. At times when his opponent hit the ball down he (Russell that is) would let out a yelp like a blend of a snarling hyena and a coyote addressing a full moon. But then his opponent tightenened up his game, and this coinciding with a touch of fatigue pervading the Wilson legs and torso led to a narrow defeat. Went down 3-2. David will feel he should have won.

    No.2 Alastair versus Kenny Wright (they played in the autumn tie also). A tremendous battle ebbing and flowing with colourful highland language at times. Alastair got level twice, but the game went away from him in the last. Went down 3-2.

    No.1 Colonel versus David Armstrong (a Mark Smith type Duracell player). Hung on in there levelling twice before edging it 3-2 in the final game. Game could have gone either way; some fortune making up for gross injustices of the previous week.

    Nite Nite.


  34. February 25, 2010 at 3:37 pm

    5th Team Match Report – 17th February 2010
    I’m afraid I’ve left the scores for the 5ths match at home, so just a short report today.

    Playing Glasgow Uni 2nds, who are top of the division & whose top order flit between this team & their 1sts (currently 1st in division 2), was always going to be tough.

    No 5) Malcolm vs Lorna- pumped 3-0
    No 4) Donald vs cant remember- pumped 3-0
    No 3) Paul F vs Sharkey- pumped 3-0
    No 2) Bill vs Alaistair- beaten 3-1 & at least competed (won MOTM)
    No 1) George vs Ollie- pumped 3-0 against a very good player (Ollie MOTM for there team)

    Simply beaten by a much better team.

    At least Bill saved the granny!



  35. March 4, 2010 at 12:48 am

    1st Team Match Report – 24th February 2010

    Evening all,

    A right royal pumping was issued tonight – to us. Looks like the morale amongst the troops is low… – I guess a perky post match report may put a smile on ones face…

    David “Oscar” Craig -v- Loagster Didn’t see the big fellas game. He confessed is was mince – so I have no reason to doubt him. Even his opponent said he was mince. Hey ho – you can’t win ‘em all David – eh? Lost 3-Zipper.

    Lee “Tuna Wrap” Gunn –v- Richard King
    Didn’t see Lee’s game either – but heard he got managed to pull a game – so must have played reasonably well. Lee – seeing as you left early AGAIN – and didn’t stay for the Chinese – can you give us some headlines on your match? Local bar bill again looked high with some questions being asked re the cans of juice and lettuce sandwiches. Lost 3-1

    (Lee: “It was a tight game…probably played the best I have all season but have lost confidence in my fitness (probably due to losing my fitness) and started to make mistakes towards the end….it was 10/10 in the forth…not sure what would have happened in a fifth. Chinese? – Does Ramy eat Chinese? – I dont think so. Lettuce is the way forward”)

    Richard “Im on the wagon – allegedly – aye right!” Cantly –v- Colon Stirret
    After being advised last week to pick up his game – he actually did and played not bad for someone in his condition. Lost 3-0

    Jason “Aye Lad” -v- Dave “High Tower” Kelly
    Didn’t see Jason play either (one may be forgiven for asking if I was even there!!) – but the canny lad managed to snatch a game – which must have taken some effort as Dave is no slouch.

    Me –v- Karyl Stygal (real name) Played an absolute shocker – worst game a long time and very disappointed. Couldn’t hit a decent width for toffee. Snatched the second game Lost 3-1

    Team lost 18-3.

  36. March 4, 2010 at 12:48 am

    2nd Team Match Report – 24th February 2010

    Excellent 16:4 win.

    5. Paul Hannah. Paul wins 3:1 after a slow start, straight on court after your evening meal takes guts but Paul played very well to see his man off.

    4. Doug Mac wins 3:0 and gets MOTM award, bit stiff after the weekend tourney but ground out a fine win in the end.

    3. Rob Mac loses 1:3, serious fitness issues after 2 weeks without a hit or any suggestion of exercise, must do better.

    2. Steve Elms wins 3:0, great win, much harder fight than the score suggests.

    1. Ash Stevenson wins 3:0, good solid performance and once again harder match than the score suggests, highlight being he brought along a friend

    Trip down memory lane for me with the hospitality back at Milngavie and Bearsden…still pour a fine pint of Belhaven…oop’s forgot my fitness regime..

  37. March 4, 2010 at 12:48 am

    3rd Team Match Report – 24th February 2010
    Strange evening in the sense that Newlands 6 only brought 3 players leaving the two Alastairs frustrated. Strange not to be forewarned. Strathgryffe rather thought they were keeping players back for their 7th team who are challenging for promotion – I would rather think they would do no such thing, and that we’ll see no players managed the 7th game tie at home!

    I might as well tell you that Mark Smith lost 3-0 to Fiona Macfarlane. Fought hard of course but didn’t quite mange to edge a game. Watching her play, I can see how I suffered the same fate in the autumn.

    At No 2 John Tuner came back form losing 1st game to win 3-1. Very good squash.

    At No 1 Kenny Lumsden against good player. Did well to win 1st game before going down 3-1.

    So that means a 13 – 7 win for our 3rds who need the points.
    Nite Nite

  38. March 4, 2010 at 12:49 am

    4ths v Strathgryffe 4
    Home to promotion candidates Strathgryffe 4; injury ravaged squad but here goes :-

    No 5 George Allan playing good squash for a while then lapses for a while losing a few points, before momentum swings his way again. Lost 3-0 very close games – a bit more experience and belief for the crucial points, and he’ll be turning these 3-0 defeats into 3-0 wins.

    No 4 Simon Pollock playing good squash, running like there is no tomorrow. Lost 3-2 to canny high serve specialist. Simon will win games like this if he takes the ball earlier, more volleying (and less winning opportunities finding the tin). 2 useful points though.

    No 3 Piotr the Polar Ice Cap. Marked 1 and a half matches. Lost 3-0 all games very close though. Didn’t see the game, but (unusually) didn’t hear much of it either.

    No 2 David Wilson. Loves his 5 setters, and sure enough it went all the way to 14-14 in the 5th before David edged it 17-15. Good work.

    No 1 Me, won 3-0 quite comfortably, strangely.

    So a 14-8 defeat, but those 8 points should keep us out of trouble provided we can put out a decent team against Giffnock at home next week (The Dancer will be in Poland).

  39. March 11, 2010 at 9:23 am

    2nd Team Match Report – 3rd March 2010

    A right Royal pumping tonight, went down 18:2 to league leaders SSRC.

    Unfair to say we were a weakened team, they were just so much better.

    Paul and Douglas did well to get a game each and Doug got MOTM.

    Thoughts of promotion can now be binned but we can be pleased with a possible fourth place.

    John Thistle made a tasty chilli, think he described it as a “ring buster”…time will tell

    Kind Regards,


  40. March 11, 2010 at 9:24 am

    4ths v Giffnock 5
    Giffnock 5 are getting stronger as the season progresses. Stewart Hamilton (West squash stalwart) not even getting a game tonight. Contrast this with injury ravaged DLWE, any points would be good points. I even offered Craig Paris at No 5 a pint for every game won!

    No 5 Craig Paris v Derek Hanlon. Not sure if Craig has played this level before – I normally hear him on an adjoining court. I do know he is a 5 set specialist, and sure enough it went that way after winning the first two games, his opponent levelled. There are good things about Craig’s game. His forehand drives can be hit to very good length, and on the backhand he can somehow retrieve shots that seem well past him. But there’s also a lot of PESH. I’ve never seem a game when someone hits so many “air shots” – inexplicably. And one serve was so pesh, that as Marker, that was the word that came out, rather than the score. It hit well below the line on his side of the front wall, and came back almost to his feet. He never plays drops, well hardly ever – but having seen the two he did play, it is a correct strategy at this stage in his squash development.

    There were also several times where he would have been awarded a stroke, had he asked. Even worse he would mis-hit numerous shots, but he would deem them double hits, but us spectators thought they were legitimate. He hit his knee with his racquet in the first game, and I was concerned if he could continue. Many times (20 plus) he let out such a strangled cry that I was sure his knee had snapped completely (people stopped playing on adjoining courts) but it was just his blue-nosed frustration at losing a point.

    He hit two superb shots, both at the front right of the court after the ball had bounced twice. They were right footed volleys, and had he been in a different arena, they would have gone sizzling to the top right hand corner of the goal.
    Lost 3-2, but two well earned points, sorry pints. A big contribution on a tough night.

    No 3 George Allan v Drew Carlin. Didn’t see this game – too busy marking (and laughing) on Court 2. George was up against a good player tonight. Lost 3-0

    No 4 David Mazzucco v Jim Kerr. David back from elbow injury – a 4 week lay off. Lost first 2 games despite playing well, visibly concerned about said elbow. Drew on all his resources to level the game and a tense decider. Went all the way. Opponent asked for 1 rather than 3 at 14 -14, and paid the price as David hit a drive down left hand wall of such tightness and length, leaving said opponent sliding vainly on his knees coming to halt beside a stationary squash ball right in the corner. Won 3-2 , and MOTM.

    No 2 David Wilson v Paul Geri. David played very well in my view. Deserved a pop at the first game but an unfavourable decision at 13-13 did not help. All close games but .. Lost 3-0

    No 1 Graham Sanders v Ed Swan. If I didn’t know already, Ed showed me how pesh I am at this game. Ed took a welcome rest in the third game. Lost 3-1

    So, we lost 17-6, but these points were hard-earned, may well turn out to be crucial. 2 games to go.

    Nite Nite..

  41. March 11, 2010 at 9:24 am

    5th Team Match Report – 3rd March 2010
    No 5) Bob vs Charles Gibson – very close match. Bob won the first on extra points. But unfortunately lost the next 3 in very close games, losing 1-3 (17-16, 11-15. 10-15, 15-17). Bob picked up MOTM

    No 4) Malcolm vs Andy Dickie – Andy is fairly new to Western but is young, fit & has a 5-5 record so far this season. Unfortunately Malcolm was beaten quite easily in the end, 0-3 (5-15, 3-15, 5-15)

    No 1) Paddy Ford vs Danny Norris – straight out the spin class as usual & not having played for 3 months Paddy was extremely unlucky not to win the first game from 14-11 up & eventually lost it 15-17. I think Paddy’s head went down after this & he imploded a little, losing the next 2 very quickly. A great effort to start with & always shows great effort when called up at the last minute. 0-3 (15-17, 1-15, 4-15). Danny won their MOTM.

    No 3) Donald vs Tom Swift – Donald never really got going in the first, competed well in the second but ended up losing 0-3 (3-15, 11-15, 6-15)

    No 2) Last up was me vs Alex Dickson – I won the first quite well playing some good squash, well beaten in the second, competed in the third & ran out of steam in the 4th, losing 1-3 (15-9, 4-15, 8-15, 5-15). Happy with how I played & feel my form is slowly improving.

    So a 18-2 defeat in the end to the team 2nd in the league.

  42. March 18, 2010 at 2:47 pm

    1st Team Match Report – 10th March 2010
    Evening all. Quick report tonight.

    David –v- James Schnel (world ranked No. 93) – DC lost 3-0 – but played some real champagne squash – best of the season so far.

    Lee –v- Harrow’s Peter O’H – LG lost 3-1 – took the 1st game off Peter and played exceptionally well. Peter was out for a 3-0 and was not feeding the ball about – so very good result for Lee.

    Richard –v Malky Watt – RC lost 3-0 – Lost against a very impressive player who gets everything back with interest. Still one of the fittest players about and beat Jason in the DLR match in the first half (not that that’s saying much!)

    Jason –v- Paul Sweeney – JG lost 3-0 – had to conced match in 3rd with damaged calf (lets hope yer ok for next week) – again played really well.

    Me –v- Stewart ‘the dog’ Brunton – AMcS lost 3-1 – played well in patches – but just not fit enough. Can’t expect much tho if not played for 14 days.

    Team lost 18-2 against the probable winners of 1st division.

    Thanks to everyone who was there to support us – its very much welcomed. Just sorry we could not have pulled a few more victories together.

  43. March 18, 2010 at 2:48 pm

    2nd Team Match Report – 10th March 2010

    Townend at home tonight.
    1. Ash v John Robertson. Ash with his dodgy ankle wins 3:0 against an out of sorts JR, available for next week provided its away, just been stung for £15 for the night after he and his opponent had a soft drink each, does seem a bit harsh….the six pints John Crawford and I shared were lovely though.

    2. Steve Elms v Adrian Milne. Steve grinds out a fine 3:2 win against stuffy opposition, Adrian gets MOTM.

    3. Me v John Crawford. I win 3:0, very flattering, John gets a total of 32 points in the match, more than enough for 2 games. Charming man, tells me his son Stuart plays a bit!!! I get MOTM for apparently out foxing the fox.

    4. Paul Hannah v Graham Crawley, Paul romps 2:1 ahead before pulling something in the third, a muscle we think!!! retires and looses 3:2, Graham remains convinced he had him anyway.

    5. Ben Mazz v Dave Ramage. Solid 3:0 win for the youngster.

    Final tally 17:5, excellent result well played one and all.

    Final game of the season next week

    Kind Regards,


  44. March 18, 2010 at 2:48 pm

    3rds v
    With depleted side always a tough call. We thought we’d try for 5 points, came up one short in 18 – 4 defeat. All 5 of us frustrated that we didn’t get more points in a lot of very close games. Mark fought hardest in his game at No 2, but everyone gave it their best.


  45. March 18, 2010 at 2:48 pm

    4th Team v Hamilton 3

    A poor night points wise on the hottest courts in the West.
    1. Kev lost 0-3
    2. David lost 0-3
    3. Piotr lost 0-3
    4. George lost 0-3
    5. Maz won 3-1

  46. March 18, 2010 at 3:22 pm

    5th Team Match Report – 10th March 2010

    Our last game of the season and the team was assembled ready to go early !! Unfortunately our opponents didn’t turn up until around 7.15….3 teams at home …gonna be a long night!!

    Malcolm Day v Lewis Cameron 1-3 (15/17 15/12 10/15 6/15)
    Malcolm started well and narrowly lost the first game. Went on to win the next game but petered (piotereked) out towards the end.

    Bob Ballantyne v Fraser Ley 1-3 (11/15 9/15 17/16 8/15)
    Bob started off ok, peaked in the third game, however ran out of steam in the last. Fitness is improving however must say Bob that your game has come on a lot recently – must be that non alcoholic beer up at the club you seem to be drinking!!! Seriously though I notice a lot of improvement in your play and fitness keep it up over the summer!

    Paul Forsyth v Matthew Baird 0-3 (10/15 5/15 9/15)
    Paul felt that he played well this week. Still a few unforced errors creeping in and also started to get too frustrated and down on himself for playing poor shots. I am guilty of this as well – doesn’t seem to help our games.

    Andrew Alabi v Allan Bloomer 3-1 (15/11 15/12 9/15 15/9)
    Well done Andrew on getting our only win of the night. Didn’t see much of it as I was up in the gym trying to keep warm as I was on next however I’m assured that Andrew played well – looked that he might be tiring at the end but dug in and won in the end. Good win!

    Craig Paris v Finlay McGhee 1-3 (16/17 17/16 9/15 10/15)
    I took on areas for development from the Colonel’s report last week (they are in my squash PDP) and tried to implement them into my game. I actually felt that I played well and on another night could have taken him. I attempted as many drop shots as I could and surprisingly a high percentage of them came off. I also concentrated on length on my drives rather than power and had him pinned into the corners on numerous occasions. Finlay is a decent player for Div 7 and plays occasionally for Strathclyde’s first team in Div 5 so not too disappointed by the result.

    On a general note I think most of us in this team are guilty of not knowing the rules when it comes to strokes / lets and as a result we rarely call them resulting in missed points. I remember a year or so ago seeing a markers course being advertised – JASON – know of any coming up – I would be interested in going and I am sure a few others would be keen. Would improve our game and also give a few of us more confidence to mark games…

    Ah well – the end of our season is upon us (no game for 5th team next week) and we have ended up rooted to the bottom of Division 7. On the bright side there is no Division 8 therefore no relegation Is there a conference / highland league in squash???? Having played a few games last year I can say that the standard in Div 7 this year has been tougher – Uni teams were stronger, esp Glasgow who have won the league.

    Not the most settled side all season however when we have five teams and when we are the 5th that’s inevitable.

    Thanks to all the players that have played for Team 5 this season (and there have been many). Also thanks to Dave Maz for organising the team – not been easy!!!!! Roll on next season!!!!!!!

    Anyway – better dash……

  47. September 30, 2010 at 11:18 am

    1st Team Match Report – 17th March 2010

    Andy – you doing a match report?
    If not then here is mine to save you as I know you are busy in IT world!

    Craig David lost 3 zip – looked like it was the first time he had ever played!

    Lee lost 3 zip – probably the worst I have ever seen Lee play – obviously not in the zone!

    I won 3 zip – and would have beaten both 1 and 2 3 zip. And maybe even Jason B given the chance – well maybe not! (this is my reaction from Andy’s harsh match report last week)

    Andy won 3 zip – intelligent squash as usual to beat his man easy – horrible to watch.

    Jason was 1 up and then pulled muscle – should never have played so early – needs 2 -3 weeks min to repair.

    Away to phone Peter Nicol to see if he fancies some donuts tonight



  48. September 30, 2010 at 11:20 am

    2nd Team Match Report – 17th March 2010

    Last match of the season, home v Whitecraigs LTC.

    Our evening started with a phone call from the opposition at 19:45 saying they were at DL Renfrew by mistake and would be with us shortly!

    First game gets on court just after 20:00, thankfully only 2 teams at home.

    I was first on at 2 against Harry C who I played in the first half, not a game for the faint hearted, this was a battle of who was the least fit…Harry won (just) but lost the match 3:0.

    Meantime Gary D was on the next court (briefly), he was horsed by Ian Mcfarlane who notched up his second win of the season and got the MOTM award and left the club with a grin.

    Paul Hannah played against Fred Laing, Fred brought his usual sun tan and cheer to the fray as well as miniature whiskeys for one and all, Paul was not for being bribed and ground out an excellent 3:1 win.

    Next up Steve Elms at 3 who somehow managed to play Gordon McLure their No 1, don’t ask it was one of those nights. Steve reckons he is presently suffering from chronic fatigue syndrome, or realistically just a little over squashed. Lost 1:3 but possibly deserved more.

    Last at one, Ash v Graham Reid (the number three), FIK!!!!. Saw bits of this one, looked like a merry shambles which Ash eventually won 3:2 and also got the MOTM award.

    Final score 13:9 to us and fourth place secured but no promotion.

    Good effort, food ok and beer lovely.

    Kind Regards,


  49. September 30, 2010 at 11:22 am

    3rds v Whitecraigs Rugby Club

    Third team tonight played Whitecraigs Rugby Club away. we were all there for 6.45 only to find that both courts were being used by the other team at home! So eventually at 8.05 our first game went on court:

    First on was Mark, started off OK, but managed to lose 3-1 some how!?!?!?

    Next on was Nic, who played OK and won 3-1 I think

    Following Nick was Kenny an interesting match but not in a good way for Kenny. In the words of Kenny himself “S***E!!” Obviously his opponent (Kieran O’Neil) was far too good for him winning 3-0

    After Kenny was Ben who played the best I have ever seen him play against his opponent. Ben won comfortably 3-1 but not without a bit of show boating!

    Finally on court at 9.45 was myself, got it together to win 3-0, excellently refereed by Kenny!

    Never stayed for food, got home at 11.30 and managed to write this top notch report with they eyes have closed



    PS – not sure who man of the match was, I’m guessing it was Ben and probably Kieran for them.

  50. September 30, 2010 at 11:24 am

    4th Team v Allander – 17th March 2010

    There was a minute’s silence at the start of the match in memory of 17 year old Michael Stokes (Allander 3rd team player) who very sadly died last week from a heart condition.

    We had a reasonable side tonight, but so did Allander:
    First on was Alastair Mackenzie (No 3) against an in-form Ken Findlay. Another epic battle with Alastair eventually losing a tight 5th game for 3-2 defeat. A very useful 2 points.

    Meanwhile Alastair Baird (at No 1) will be disappointed with his 3-0 defeat against Phil Graves.

    Next was Me (at No 2) against Innes Gibb. We had a good game, but I lost 3-1 (4th game close though). A fair result and not enough heart or belief from the Colonel (Jason, you’re supposed to coach outsiders bad habits, not good!)

    David Wilson played a classic David Wilson game once he warmed up, and won 3-1. Seemed to me to be in the zone, enjoying his squash and today he’s off to do some work in Dublin – he has a ticket for the rugby also.

    Finally Kevin Reilly playing at no 4 in glory match versus Kenny Ferrie. Kevin hasn’t played much since he was struck down with gastro enteritis, and played some great squash at times, but also a high risk campaign meant quite a few shots were just out, or just down, serves too. Eventually got into the game with a win in the 3rd game, but ran out of steam in the 4th losing a commanding lead to do down 3-1. Kevin’s frustrations were abundantly plain, as his racquet had quite a lot of air-time between points. Painful too, for us in the viewing gallery, as we sense every point vital.

    And so a 16 – 7 defeat, but will 188 points be enough?

    It is enough to beat Allander and Drymen, neither of whom can pass that mark. Additionally we need any of 3 things to happen :-

    1) Giffnock to get 12 points or less (they were playing promotion contenders Largs)
    2) Wanderers to get 6 points or less, or
    3) Bowfield to get 5 points or less (wanderers and Bowfield playing each other).

    I’m not sure what happens if two teams are tied.

    A big thank you to those that played while injured last night – Jason, Paul, Garry, probably Kenny L, Nic C, Kevin R (he’s always injured) and indeed me (my knee’s knacked, as is my proposed Munro campaign this weekend). Apologies if we haven’t done your efforts justice.


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