Match Reports DLR 2009/10

  1. November 26, 2009 at 11:03 am

    Match Report for 25th November 2009
    Sorry for the long report, but what a night – what a match – what a game at the No.1 string!

    I have to say that the team was magnificent this week; everyone turned in a great performance (even I reached the dizzy heights of average!) and we ended up beating the 3rd ranked team in Division 1 !!!!!!!

    First up was Sean v Graham “The Mugger” McAinsh at No.4. I was on court at the same time so missed the first 2 games, which is just as well as Sean was 2-0 down, but what a comeback! As I said earlier, Giffnock are very strong down the order and it was an excellent effort from Sean to pull the match back to 2-1 and then 2-2. Whilst I was on court I’d heard Sean remonstrating with the umpire and so naturally I assumed that the receptionist or some passer-by was doing the marking. As I came off court I saw Lyall with the clipboard and had to laugh as Sean was telling him he didn’t know what he was talking about – despite being Scotland’s No.4! Anyway by 2-2 Lyall was delighted to hand over the marking duties to a Giffnock player and get ready for his match and so to the final game. Sean was always behind in this game, but at 8-10 game ball down he took a couple of risks and they came off and he clawed his way back to 11-10 (match ball up). There were some excellent rallies at this point, but unfortunately Sean was on the wrong end of them, which included a very cruel ‘no let’ decision at match ball that finished the tie in favour of Giffnock. But an excellent 2 points from Sean.

    I was on at the same time and when I earlier predicted a 3-2 match result I thought this may be where it would be decided (I was wrong). My opponent, Mikey Rodgerson, won the first game and I was far from happy with my performance. In the second game Mikey seemed to over-stretch for a ball and hurt his thigh. I tried to keep the ball away from him at this point, but anyone who was watching the game would be forgiven for thinking that I was trying to do the complete opposite! I did my best to mess the second game up, but at 9-9 I managed to hold my nerve and just squeezed home.
    In between the games Kev told me to play the ball early as Mikey seemed to be not moving well, which was advise that I wasn’t able to put into practice as I kept hitting the ball Mikey’s way and he kept putting the ball away! I was very lucky in the third game as I re-doubled my efforts at 10-10 and snuck home 12-10. Kev reminded me that my opponent wasn’t moving at all and it suddenly dawned on me that the leg injury may be worse than it seemed. And so it proved in the 4th game as I played the ball earlier (just like Kev said) and won the game 11-2 and the match 3-1.

    Next up was Lyall v Jamie. I was buoyed by the players not shouting at my marking decisions last week, so I actually volunteered to referee this one and I’m so glad I did. What a match! What fantastic rallies! What speed and athleticism! It was probably the best fought match I’ve ever seen. Lyall looked in control in the first game and pushed Jamie (Macaluay – Scotland’s No.7) around the court quite easily to win 11-7. But then the fireworks started at around 6-6 in the second game, as there were some unbelievable rallies; Lyall attacked brilliantly and Jamie defended amazingly, both players were moving at breathtaking speed and I was convinced that this game would be where the match was decided, as they were both taking so much out of each other physically. Jamie won this second game 11-9 and then he also took a lead in the third game which he never surrendered, despite having to fling his body around the court after everything Lyall could throw at him. In the fourth game the pace had taken it’s toll on Jamie as Lyall took complete control of the match. He sent him the wrong way again and again and managed to get his front court drives past Jamie’s despairing volley to win 11-3. And so to the fifth game. The tempo of the game was once again phenomenal to watch and the reactions were amazing! Both players didn’t give an inch, there was one amazing rally after another and all I could do was applaud after the sheer physical effort of some of the rallies……………………………. and then give a let as I remembered that I was marking! In the 5th at 8-7 up Lyall’s shoe gave way and he had to change his right gutty (Jamie complained that he was playing for time, Lyall said he was only just getting going!). Anyway the changed proved to be a disaster as the new shoe caused him to slip all over the court and two short rallies later he was 9-8 down. At this point Lyall just threw his racket at the next point and managed to get an easy winner – Jamie then realised that Lyall’s shoes were so bad that he was just going to go for it and so he decided to do the same. This was a mistake and Lyall pounced on the last few points and won the match 11-9 in around and hour of brilliant squash (this was where tonight’s match was won – MOTM to both players, no question).

    While all this was going on Steve Wodjosezasizzzisakkkski was on court and having a fantastic start to his match as he took the first game from Garry Blanchflower 11-7. I was busy marking the other game at the time so didn’t see Steve’s, but I heard that after this Steve began to tire and and Garry came back at him. The next two games appear to have been tough as well with Steve getting to 8-9 in each game, but Garry taking both. All of this toil took it’s toll and the last was all one way traffic to Garry.

    And so (once again) the match was poised at 2-2 and Kev went on last against Owen Hadden at No.2. Owen is a very tricky player and Kev had lost to him last time so it was going to take a real effort to turn things round. Again I was still marking during the first string match, so all I saw was Kev looking moody but content after the first followed by moody and annoyed after the second!!! I concluded that it must be 1-1 and this was confirmed as his racket was thrown on the floor (I winced as it was one of my Harrow rackets as well!!!). Anyway what I didn’t know was what a tremendous effort Owen had put in to just compete in the first, let alone win the second. I began watching around this time and Owen was trying every little trick he had to get a point (and he has plenty believe me!) but Kev was looking determined (and moody) and was making life very difficult for every single point. Kev won the 3rd reasonably easily and now the tide had well and truly turned; which was more obvious if you compared the small sweat patch on Kev’s top to Owen’s, who looked like he’d been swimming! The words ‘burst baw’ came to mind in the 4th as Kev had his man exactly where he wanted him and finished him off reasonably easily to win his game 3-1 and the match 3-2. Kev looked delighted and moody as he came off the court.

    Magnificent nigh and a great team effort to win 15-10.



    PS – Did you know that there is only one football team in the UK with no vowels in the first 5 letters of the name? Owen did! Great chat at the meal table after the match!!

  2. November 26, 2009 at 1:31 pm

    2nd Team Match Report for 25th November 2009
    The seconds with a somewhat weakened team, were away to Whitecraigs LTC 2. No Steven, Brian or Gordon. John Findlay made another guest appearance and Morgan came in at 5.

    Colin was first on at no 3 against Bob Buchanan and he must have felt as though he was playing himself as they had almost identical games. Nevertheless, it was a very competitive and close encounter. Colin took the first game and at 16-16 in the second, was close to taking a 2 game lead. Bob managed to edge it and from then on, kept himself ahead to win the match 3-1.

    Next on was Morgan. She was playing Graham Reid and in the process smashed the West of Scotland age difference record for a league match. He is not called “Old Lobber” for nothing as he doesn’t rally and the ball never gets warm. He lobs at every opportunity with a drop the only alternative. He was frustrating Morgan at every turn. She kept thinking she had come to terms with it only to find the ball going in the opposite direction she anticipated. She threatened to get into the match on a few occasions only for Graham to take control again. In the second game, the ball burst, an event Graham claims never to have happened to him before. He intends to have it mounted. The new ball didn’t help Morgan and she lost 3-0. We were now 6-1 down for the second week running.

    I was next on at 4 against Alistair. I took the first game, coming from behind with a run of 8 straight points. In the second, after a misunderstanding over a let call went against me, I lost concentration and tamely let the game slip. I took control of the third to go 2-1 up but determined play by Alistair combined with my slackness led to him squaring it at 2-2. I felt that this was a match I should be winning and only had to screw the nut in the final game to see it through. That normally means I proceed to get humped. This time however, I kept the pressure on him and only allowed him a handful of points. A 3-2 win and we were still alive in the contest.

    Scott was next to take to the court against the very experienced Peter Lewis. This turned out to be the match of the night. With the court being very lively, neither player was able to play many killer shots and the rallies went on and on. No matter how hard or low Scott hit his drives, Peter was there to retrieve it. The majority of Peter’s points came from Scott hitting the tin. Scott’s winners were mostly very tight drives which Peter just failed to reach. Scott won the first but then found himself 2-1 down. In the fourth, Scott was dictating the rallies but Peter’s defence was immense and Scott found himself 13-11 down. There didn’t look any way back for Scott as he could not conjure up winning shots. All of a sudden, he produced a sublime volley into the backhand nick. Another 2 followed. Incredible!! Peter could only watch and admire. Game point. Peter tinned a shot and they were level at 2-2. Scott stepped up the pace in the fifth but Peter was equal to it. He showed no signs of tiring and matched Scott all the way. Peter got to 14-13 match ball but Scott saved it. Peter chose 1. My money was on Scott. Unfortunately, he put a shot down and the match was lost.

    John completed the night by lining up against the veteran Alex Everingham at 1. Alex took the first game but John came back to win the second. John stormed ahead in the third and looked to be heading for victory. Alex had other ideas and came back strongly to take it. John faded in the fourth and Alex ran out a comfortable winner.

    Overall, a 17-7 defeat. It might have been different if we had all our players available.


  3. Steve
    November 26, 2009 at 9:11 pm

    Great night of squash. It really was one of my most enjoyable Wednesday nights for a good while. My only complaint is that I was continually woken from sleep last night with thoughts of Al Green, Snowy White, Macy Gray and Jackson Browne, among other glaring omissions!

  4. November 27, 2009 at 12:23 am

    I’m assuming you meant the discussion about “How many bands can you name with a colour in them?” posed by Gary Blanchflower. I came up with Cilla Black and Black Lace which has done my self-credibility no good at all!! Although I was very pleased to come up with Blue Oyster Cult. Jason

  5. December 9, 2009 at 9:58 am

    1st Team Match Report for 2nd December 2009
    Well it was all looking good for the team about an hour before we were due to travel to Loch Lomond, at which time I phoned Henry to arrange travel to Cameron House only to find out that Lyall was in America and so we needed another player. This is where Henry really earned his ‘man of the match’ award last night, but on top of this he also arranged a No.5 and then put in a match winning performance as well!

    So with John Findlay in the car and Kev following us over the Erskine Bridge the confidence of earlier predictions turned into speculation (William Hill slashed the odds on a DL romp!).

    So first on was John against (ex-Scotland Sprinter of the Alan Wells era) Gus McCuaig. Gus was out of the blocks very quickly and took the first 11-4 and again surged home in the second to win 11-2. At this point John started to get the ball behind Gus and stopped worrying about his ability to keep going for winners and got a good lead that Gus couldn’t come back from. 11-6 to John in the third. Unfortunately Gus got a flyer in the fourth game and although John pulled it back to 5-7 it wasn’t enough and Gus crossed the finishing line 11-5.

    Next up was Kev at No.1 against Rolf Hansen. Now this was a bit of a mis-match and John summed up the game by saying “Kev didn’t play well, but won the game easily!” I’m not sure I can add too much to this except the stats which were 11-7 11-3 11-4 to the Harrow man.

    At the same time the MOTM, Henry, was playing Andy McGoarty at No.3. Big H had a very cautious start to the tie losing the first game 5-11. I pointed out to Henry that his opponent never hit the ball to the same place twice, but this was water off a ducks back and Henry just decided to win by trying harder……. which worked! Henry was diving in for balls at the back and volleying as much as possible, but the main difference between the two opponents was that Henry wanted to win more! And so it was proven with an 11-4 win in the second game followed by a crucial point in the third game at 9-9 where sheer force of will brought home an 11-9 win. Again in the fourth game at 10-9 Henry was visibly goading himself to ‘just not lose’ and with the longest rally of the match Big H brought the tie home 11-9 (3 games to 1).

    Brian was on at this point at No.4 – although his opponent had dropped from No.2 on the night claiming he didn’t feel well. Brian got off to a flyer and 2-5 down took a great run of points to win the game 11-6. However despite the initial exchanges being close in the next two games, Alan won them both 11-8 11-4 and Brian was beginning to feel the pace – not to mention his dinner coming back up!

    The tactics changed in the 4th and Brian started to keep the ball away from Alan’s volley and play a better length and this worked wonders with an 11-6 win. Unfortunately with an unbelievable 10 point run in the 5th game Alan won the game 11-5 and the tie 3-2. A great 2 points for the team though.

    I was last on and with the match once again at 2-2 I played Jim Patton (ex British rower – I don’t know where they get thes guys from! “Ex-Internationalists Are Us” mabey?). Anyway I was reasonably confident of a win, but the first game was closer that I’d have liked at 7-5 down. None-the-less I managed to get a 5 point winning run to close the first game out 11-8. I was never in danger after that and won the next two games 11-6 11-6 to win the match 3-0.

    So a disaster was averted (with Lyall not being available) and we ended up winning the match 3-2 and accumulated an excellent 15 points (to 7).



  6. December 9, 2009 at 9:58 am

    3rd Team Match Report for 2nd December 2009
    I decided that I would try to deliver the 3rd teams good news this week as our Booker Prize winning narrator, “Robert Wilson”, had been sucked up into his rightful position in the second team; I look forward to the twists and turns of that work of literary genius, hopefully later today!

    Anyway, back to the match report; the third team were playing at home to Broomhill 2 and although this looked like the team we played last year, they assured me it was a severely weakened squad this week due to the football. I assume they must have been talking about the multitude of English matches that were on.

    Kenny Morrice went on first at 5 against the very young looking Allison Grieve; however she never put Kenny off the task in hand, and although I never saw the match, I believe that it was a fairly straight forward 3-0 win for Kenny; I am not even sure he had broken a sweat, either that or he changed his T-shirt before I came off court. I did hear however that his recently quaffed hair and all over tan may have put the poor girl off!

    I was playing at the same time at 4 against an ex-work acquaintance, Alan Currie and this turned out to be the closest match of the night.
    I was feeling good and was moving round the court like young gazelle; unfortunately I forgot that gazelle’s couldn’t play squash and despite being 13-11 up I managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory with a few loose shots into the centre which Alan capitalised on. The next game was nip and tuck with Alan hitting nick after nick and me hitting tin after tin, despite this I managed to make a sprint for the post and won the last 6 points in a row. The 3rd game went much the same way and I was starting to get my confidence back at 2-1 up.
    Alan looked shattered and I thought it was a foregone conclusion in the 4th when I had forged an 11-7 lead; however the gods of squash had other ideas and Alan got a string of nicks that you would not believe and won the game 15-12.
    So the game went to the wire and despite my best efforts Alan Had his ‘nickety nick nick’ racket out again and I was determined to hit the tin as often as possible, sorry Jason but my “pushhhhhh” follow-through shot had turned into “STAB” with no follow-through and Alan played a very respectable final shot to win the match 3-2.
    Once again a perfect example of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

    After finishing my game I came off to find that that Broomhill still only had 4 players present but they insisted that their number 3 was on his way.

    Morgan went on next at 1 against a very tricky Stuart Ross, apparently an ex club champ.
    The first game found Morgan struggling somewhat with Stuart’s style of play, i.e. not much force but very accurate. This gamed see-sawed all the way to 14-14 with Stuart to serve; Morgan chose 1, what confidence, what ability. She lost 15-14!
    Despite this loss, the match was still well in the balance and I think Morgan could see that Stuart wasn’t moving very spryly, apparently a back injury is hindering him at the moment.
    The next game saw Morgan go 5-10 down, everyone thought it was all over except Morgan. Next thing I knew it was 9-10 down, then 13-9 and then Morgan found here form and pushed home 15-13.
    The next two games saw Morgan pushing Stuart around the court in obvious discomfort and she drove home the last two games in complete control to win 3-1

    Helena was starting to worry about the Motorway, as she had turned up early to get away early, and the Broomhill number 3 was still “on his way”?

    We were now 2-1 up with two to play and in swaggers Andy Jackson, coached out of squash-retirement to help out with the drop outs!
    Andy was stroking the ball very well during the warm up and this gave me confidence that he could do well against their N°2 Phil Mc Fadyen.
    Andy was playing like a man half his age, covering the court well and disguising drops and drives in his usual manor and drove home an uncharacteristic first game victory 15-9. Phil decided that his leg support didn’t match his racquet and took it off. This seemed to do be disastrous for Phil as Andy catapulted himself into a 5-0 lead. Phil decided that the colour was right after all and came back to 5-5. This is the way the game went to the end and Phil snatched a well fought 15-12 win. Andy stayed on Court keeping the ball warm as Phil change his racquet and T-shirt again, as he had decided that the red and blue was again clashing, now it was black on red? Could this make the difference?
    Fortunately it did but not in Phil’s favour. Andy found his length and took the next two games 15-7 and 15-5. Great squash play which earned Andy Man Of The Match.

    The match was now secure at 3-1; however a bitter pill was about to be served to Broomhill as they finally found out the truth about their elusive 3rd player; he was not coming!

    This therefore ended our match with an 18-2 win caused by 3 walk over’s.

    Great game!

    All the best

    Stuart Ward

  7. December 9, 2009 at 9:59 am

    2nd Team Match Report for 2nd December 2009
    The 2nds were up against Milngavie & Bearsden at home. M & B had contacted us beforehand to let us know that they could only field 4 players so we had to do a team reshuffle and that left James Browning as the fifth man with no need to turn up although he was oblivious to what had been going on.

    So were already 3-0 up when Colin took the court against Steve Lott at 3. Colin just had the edge in the first game and took it 15-11. Steve made the running in the second and it looked as if the match would be tied but Colin came back and it went to 14-14. Colin retained his concentration and took it 17-15. Colin kept up the pressure in the third and with Steve starting to tire, he saw it out 15-12 for a 3-0 victory. So we were 6-0 up and looking good for victory.

    I was on next at 4 to try to clinch the win. My opponent Ian Hay was the older member of their father/son combination. It started well as I romped to a 10-1 lead. This would have been a 9-0 granny under the old scoring but I had to settle for 15-5 in the end. The second game was a bit closer but I took it comfortably 15-9. Only 1 game from victory for the team. As often happens, this is where you are most vulnerable. I lost the game 15-10 as Ian got into his stride and was guilty of a string of wayward shots. Surely I would see it out in the fourth. Although I didn’t feel half as comfortable as in the first 2 games, I managed to forge ahead and despite a late scare, I triumphed 15-13. That was it. 12-1 to the team so far.

    It was up to Gordon to try and extend that lead. He was playing Colin McGeady, a one time Lloyds team player whose ability is well above Division 3 level. The first game started off pretty evenly. Colin was constantly surprised by Gordon’s ability to retrieve the ball. He obviously was unaware of his rally after needless rally reputation. At 7-6 to Gordon, Colin was able to step up a gear and took the first 15-9. It was the same story in the second. From 7-7, Colin streaked ahead again. He was clearly in confident mood as he sent in a showboating corkscrew serve. Gordon had never faced one before and stood bemused as it died at the back wall. Colin took that one 15-8. However, he was unaware of Gordon’s 3-2 history. He was still unaware of it at the end as the 3rd game followed the same pattern and from 7-7, Colin took control and another corkscrew serve ace set up match ball. He won it 15-9.

    Last on was Scott against the junior member of the Hay partnership. It was Scott v Scott. It was nip and tuck all the way in the first with SH just nicking it 17-15 from SL. In the second, our Scott started to take control of the rallies and was a comfortable 15-7 winner. It looked as though SL had found his range and would go on to take the next 2 games for victory. SH had other ideas. He changed his game plan and started causing SL problems with well placed drops and tight drives to good length. It paid immediate dividends and he won the third 15-4. SL came out more determined in the fourth but SH kept up the pressure with consistently good shots. SL eventually succumbed and the M&B man won 15-9 for a 3-1 victory.

    So overall we took the match 13-7.

    All the best.

    Robert Wilson

  8. December 16, 2009 at 7:49 am

    1st Team Match Report for 9th December 2009
    Well an interesting night tonight and not all together surprisingly the bookies cleaned up again!

    We were up against a very good team with strength in depth, so when Sean and John F went on first I feared the worst. John was playing a guy who has been at the top of squash for 20 plus years in both the West and National Leagues and John looked a bit intimidated by this, until Mat (Mackie) hit him in the face with his racket, then he just looked angry! John really troubled Mat in the first game and at 7-10 down he got a great run of points to take him to 11-10 game ball. Unfortunately this was as close as he got because Mat just piped him 13-15 in the first (it didn’t help that John didn’t know the rules at 10-10!) and after this Mat stepped it up to win the next two more comfortably. It was a good effort by John and had he just managed to get the first game he would definitely have been in line for MOTM.

    Next on (and desperate to get away early due to his wife’s birthday celebrations – now that’s commitment to the team!) was Sean. He was also up against it as he was playing a very good player called Richard-don’t call me Dick-King! I bet that’s the first time anyone’s thought of that gag!?!

    Richard moved the ball round with consummate ease and although Sean was in all the games to about 4-4 he also ended up losing them all. My highlight of the match was in the third game when Richard sent Sean the completely the wrong way. Despite this (and a taxi turning up outside the court!) Sean was looking for the stroke, but instead got ‘no let’. When Sean looked unbelievingly at the marker (their No.1) and asked why, Iain Logan said “Because you’ve got to have some idea of where the ball was going to get a let or stroke!” Classic!!! And Sean couldn’t argue because the crowd were laughing so loudly! So Richard ended up winning 3-0, but there was no problem in losing to a player of Richard’s calibre especially as Sean gave it his all.

    I went on court shortly after and was up against Colin Stirrat, who I’ve had some real tussles over the past few years (winning and losing). I knew this would be a very tight one and I said to Paul S that I thought I may lose tonight as Colin was probably going to be too fit for me. I’d had a couple of heavy nights out over the weekend (one of them with Colin after the Western doubles tourney) and I was worried that this may go against the older bloke! However I was delighted to get into a winning position at 6-3 in the first game, although not so delighted at 6-6, but I managed to regain my composure to win the first 11-6. So I thought if I can just take the second, without expending too much energy, I’ve got a real chance! I lost the second 12-10 in a thoroughly knackering manner!!! This worried me! However I played well in the third and was always ahead and ended up winning 11-5, so I thought if I can just take the fourth, without expending too much energy I’ll win! I lost the fourth 12-10 in an even more thoroughly knackering manner!!! This worried me! And so to the fifth!

    Henry asked me how I felt before I went back on court and I said “Burst!” and at 4-1 down I wasn’t feeling much better. However in those first few points I managed to move Colin around significantly and I think this is where the momentum shifted. He began to look much more tired and buoyed by this I went on a great run of points. In fact I never lost the serve again and I won the game 11-4 and the match 3-2 and was absolutely delighted to beat someone of Colin’s standard and pick up 3 points for the team.

    After me was Kevin against Iain Logan. I didn’t see the first two games, but Kev seemed to be in control from 6-5 in both and ended up winning 11-5 11-9. In the third Iain really clawed his way back into the game and Kev was frustrated by a few decisions. He was so bemused by a couple of calls that he asked the marker if his ‘lets’ and ‘strokes’ were based on the ‘eeny, meeny, miny, moe’ principal!!! Despite the ensuing hilarity Iain kept a good lead in this game and won it 11-7 and to underline his disgust Kev’s M140 racket went flying at the end of the game. However normal service was resumed in the fourth game as Kev moved Iain round much better in the early stages and reaped the benefit at the end of the game, as Iain had ‘run himself out’ to lose the game 11-6 and the match 3-1.

    So is that the match finely poised at 2-2 again I hear you ask? Well it would have been if Henry had gone on last (and for the purposes of this report let’s just say he did!)

    Henry matched up against Graham “the Grinch” Duns (another legend of West and National League squash over the past 20 years) and Henry battled well to stay in the first game all the way from 4-2 up, to 9-10 down. Unfortunately with Graham’s unfeasibly long reach and intimidating presence on court (thus the nickname) Henry couldn’t convert the first game. In the second and third games Graham took control and never let the pressure slip. Henry battled hard, but Graham ended up winning the next two 11-4 11-2 to win the match 3-0.

    Afterwards, at the meal, I managed to talk myself into MOTM and my opponent, Colin, also got it for Western.

    So a 15-6 loss for the team, but I reckon with Lyall back in second half we stand a real chance of turning this one around.

    How did the other teams get on?


  9. December 16, 2009 at 7:52 am

    3rd Team Match Report for 9th December 2009
    In the process of trying to wipe the memory of last night’s disaster from my mind, or maybe as I am still a little punch drunk from the beating, I have managed to forget all of our oppositions names, so the following will only have our players names mentioned.

    It didn’t bode well for us last night as we had neither James Browning, Robert Wilson nor Morgan to bolster up the top half of the team and 4 off us were not going to get there before 7.20.

    So in a bit of a tactical move, in case one of the cars never made it there, and because of his sterling performance last week, I ask Kenny Morrice to play at 4.

    Imagine my surprise when I arrived to find Kenny already on court with their N°5. He had went to Whitecraigs LTC first instead of Newlands LTC, so he was in a bit of a panic when he arrived.

    I managed to catch all of the game and it was another impressive display of squash from our N°5. Kenny moved round the court with great agility and never really looked in any real trouble despite throwing away his lead in at least 2 of the games. The result was never in question and we got a well deserved 3-0 win for the team. Great performance Kenny.

    Helena went on next at N°1, but wanted extra time to get ready after her game as well as wanting to leave ASAP in case they shut the Motorway AGAIN. Helena’s opponent must have forgotten she was on court for the warm up, as he seemed to be warming up the ball himself giving Helena little to no turns on the ball.

    Helena played and moved well in the first game to keep it tight; however the fitness of their N°1 combined with his very consistent play, just edged Helena out. The second game went much the same way; however Helena was lobbing and dropping better, making a few amazing shots; unfortunately these were counteracted by a few tins and the opponents never ending running, and so went the second and third games. 3-0 loss.

    Jason Lang was up against a young lady at N°3. What form she had, and her squash wasn’t bad either. They were both very evenly matched and it was a very tight good game to watch; however the young lad, despite fighting well for 3 games, went down 3-0.

    At the same time as Jason’s game “old man” Lang was on at N°4; unfortunately due to Lang juniors game, Brian never had much support for the first 2 games. I was heartened to hear his scorer call out 12-12 in the first but unfortunately this was false hope. As I made my way across to watch him in the 3rd I found out he was 2-0 down and 12-4 down in the last. I tried to boost Brian up for a Lazarus type come back with a bit of cheering but the marker said that it was a bit late for some support now. Sorry if we let you down Brian – 3-0 defeat but apparently well fought.

    I was last on at N°2 and after a couple of rush trips to the toilet, I think my chicken Panini was disagreeing with me, I made it on to court. I might as well have not have bothered for the first 5 mins, as yet again the Newlands team was warming the ball up by themselves. I actually had to ask the guy if I could please have a hit of the ball.

    Is this some sort of tactic that I don’t understand?

    Anyway the game started and as with last week the “gazelle” was back. Would someone teach that bloody gazelle how to play squash! I fought well in the first and my god the marker had some funny ideas on lets and strokes but heh hoh! I was up a couple of times through the match and thought I had the measure of the man, pushing him left and right and some very good drops, even if I do say so myself; the “puuuusssssshhhhhh” shot was back. What happened I was 1-0 down.

    I lost heart and the gazelle retired and I just wasn’t really in the match much in the second. 2-0 down. The third went much the same way; although I did pull of a boast which I insisted on the supporters applaud before I played on. This set up a bit of a Pantomime air and from then on there were boo’s and hisses and a few it’s behind you shouts from the spectators. 3-0 loss

    So a 3-15 loss for us last night but the pizzas were good.

  10. December 16, 2009 at 7:54 am

    2nd Team Match Report 9th December 2009
    The seconds were at home against Giffnock 3. Making his debut this season was budding thespian, Robert “Snail” Findlay. Snail is enjoying the bright lights of London at Drama school and is home for a few weeks for the holidays. Apparently he is starring as Brian in the Magic Roundabout panto at the Pavilion. Snail, playing at 5, got off to a sluggish start and found himself behind against Dick Whittington. After a while he managed to come out of his shell and started to dominate the rallies. He had Dick turning again and again with his accurate drives and comfortably took the match 3-0.

    I was next on as Peter Pan at 4 against veteran, Ed Swann, old Mother Goose. I had too many shots for the old campaigner and took the first game 15-4. I was wary that I had done the same last week against a similarly aged opponent and had let him back into it. Ed had decided to drop at every opportunity and he was having some success but putting all his eggs in one basket was to be his downfall. I was wise to it and was able to take the advantage away from him. I had him guessing all the time where the ball was going. Despite cries of “It’s behind you” from his team mates, he was unable to retrieve my well-placed shots and I ran out a comfortable 3-0 winner.

    At no 3 it was Colin “Cinderella” Richards. He was against Prince Charming, Jim Thomson, a David Lloyd member and part time squash player. In the first game, Colin made Jim look like a pumpkin by thrashing him 15-4. Jim came back into it but still lost the second. In the third, Jim pulled out all the stops and with his motto “You shall get to the ball” he got on top and took the game. Colin steadied himself in the fourth, and with Jim starting to flag, Colin triumphed for a 3-1 win. That put us 12-1 up in the match. Could it get any better?

    Scott, with his new streamlined hairstyle was next on at 3 against Jack Firth. This Jack had a beanstalk to climb if he was to get the better of Scott. In the first game it looked as though the giant killing was on but Scott fought back to take it 15-13. In the second, Scott forged ahead and once he got the scent of blood, fee fi fo fum he took it 15-8. The third followed the same pattern and Scott ran out a 3-0 winner. 15-1 to us – near perfection.

    Finally it was Gordon “Aladdin” Smith up against Ryan Maxfield. The first game looked to be going Aladdin’s way but Ryan came storming back to level at 14-14. Gordon then sneaked it 17-15. In the second, we were in for a surprise. The Genie of the lamp had obviously granted him 3 wishes. One was boundless energy, the second was perfect length and I think the other was something to do with the ladies.

    He took control of the game from the start and never looked back. We looked on in awe as Gordon’s shots died within a few inches of the front and back walls. Where were the rallies after needless rallies? The second game was captured in some style. It could be a 3-0. Oh no it couldn’t. Oh yes it could. Oh no it wasn’t. Gordon started tinning the ball and let Ryan into it. He lost it 15-11. Was this going to be another five setter for Gordon? We needn’t have worried. Gordon surpassed himself in the fourth. We have never seen such accuracy from him, sending the ball into all the corners and with drives so tight the ball was rolling along the side walls. Ryan had no answer. A 15-5 score reflected his dominance. 3-1 to Gordon and a great 18-2 result overall.

    It is likely to be a different story at Wishaw next week


  11. January 6, 2010 at 7:09 am

    1st Team Match Report for 16th December 2009

    Just a quick match report tonight as 1) I’ve got to catch a 5.30 plane tomorrow 2) My opponent wasn’t due to turn up til 9.30pm, so I also got there late and missed a lot of the matches and 3) We got a bit of a thrashing by Newlands!

    Kev went on first against ‘Pistol’ Peter O’Hara. On paper this looked like a 3-0 to Peter, but I heard that Kevin played really well and took the first game 11-9. The next two were apparently very hard fought as well, but Pistol Pete must have been gunning the ball about as he took them both. The fourth seems to have been even closer as Kev pushed Peter all the way and was only just piped 11-9. Kev MOTM in my book for pushing Peter so close in the fourth and taking the first game.

    Lyall was next on against a 21 year old guy called James Snell (World Ranked No.#113) and this was always going to be a very tough match – and so it proved as Lyall lost the tie. No disgrace losing to someone of James’s high ranking – I think Alan Clyne would be the only person in Scotland who could win this tie). I understand that there were some tremendously long rallies in the first game, but James appeared to have been on the winning end of most of them. Lyall started attacking in the second game and this caused the rallies to shorten, but not enough in Lyall’s favour. Lyall must have nipped to the bar in between games as he brought back the kitchen-sink and threw this at James as well, but to no avail and James won the tie 3-0.

    Sean went on next and again was really up against it playing Peter Malone. Peter added Sean to his list of 3-0 scalps (which includes some pretty good players like Graham Dunns and James Dare). I didn’t see the match, but i like to think that James Snell marked it and Sean looked incredulously at him every time he gave a decision!

    Next up was Henry and he was up against an ex-Ballantyne’s team mate in Stuart ‘the dog’ Brunton (so called because he’ll chase anything!). The first game was close, but Henry just let Stuart get too far ahead of him at the crucial time and lost it. In the second game Big H started rocketing the ball into the tin, on the forehand side especially and after the fifth time of thwacking the middle of the tin I was asking around for some ear-plugs. By this time ‘the dog’ had got hold of the bone (so to speak!) and wasn’t going to let go; second game to Stuart and that’s where it ended as Henry had to retire. He was telling his opponent that it was a hip/leg problem, but I reckon it was probably tinnitus! (or should that be tin-hitus!)

    I went on last against Malky Watt and was relishing another match up against an old adversary. Malky started slowly in the first and I took full advantage getting into a good lead by dropping him short and then managing to hold onto the lead. The second and third games were had fought and physically quite tiring and unfortunately Malky took them both (it wasn’t helped by the fact that I couldn’t seem to play a backhand boast up!). Ho hum!

    And so to the fifth. I needed to get stuck in with some hard rallies early and when Malky went 4-0 up this was where the game was lost. I managed to come back to 8-8, but just couldn’t sustain the charge and Malky took the initiative and won the game 11-9 and the match 3-2.

    My match was a good old romp with lots of blood and guts, but I was very disappointed with my lack of awareness, match play and my abundances of hacking! A consolation 2 points, but a bitter pill.

    So the team got chopped 18-3, but it was by a team who won the league last year and I fully expect them to do so again this year.

    All the best and Happy Christmas.


  12. January 13, 2010 at 10:39 am

    1st Team Match Report for 6th January 2010
    Well only a few hours ago it looked like we weren’t going to get any points at all against top of the table Strathgryffe, so anything should be a bonus.
    First up was Henry against Garry McIlree. Garry is a fast, fit player who can get a lot back and he had plenty to get back in the first game as Henry had him running about the court like a whippet. Henry got a good lead and when you’re playing PAR to 11, a 4/5 point lead can often make the difference. And so it proved, because although Garry came back at Big H the initial flurry of points was enough for Henry to keep ahead and he took the first game 11-9.
    Garry started to get into the game more and Henry was all too well aware of this, which is why he pulled-up lame half way through the 2nd game. He obviously thought I’ve got a game and that’s all there’s likely to be, so I’ll claim that I pulled a drum-stick.
    Meanwhile on court 2 Sean was playing his arch nemesis, The Red Lorry. These two have had some battles over the years, but usually they’re on the same team so the battles are in the bar afterwards and all verbal, so it was great to see the two of them slugging it out on court. As usual Sean looked incredulously at every decision that the ref made, so much so that he got far more calls going his way than he deserved. Ross was desperate to beat Sean 3-0 and further-more without looking like he was trying, but Sean was also desperate to get at least a game. Ross won the two, but Sean got a 4-0 lead in the 3rd game and at this point Wullie McQ offered a bet that Sean would win the game. I was tempted, but then Sean went to 7-0 up and so I was glad I didn’t take it on. Ross came right back at him, but again the initial lead (and a double bounce that no-one saw!) was enough to help Sean win the game. Sean looked ecstatic; Ross looked gutted!! The 4th game was also very tight and it went to 10-10, Sean had a couple of game balls, but at 16-15 he finally ran out of luck and lost the match. Needless to say it didn’t end there and the verbal sparring carried on to the bar (MOTM to Sean for a great fighting performance).
    Lyall went on next against Martin (“he honey bee”) Woods and as he slammed an overhead cross-court in to the nic on the first point of the match, I thought this looks like it may be comfortable! But Martin made Lyall work hard for his victory. I have to say that Lyall never looked particularly worried that he couldn’t turn things round whenever he wanted, but he couldn’t take it too easy. And he didn’t – 3-0 win.
    I was on next, against James Dare, and I knew that this was the tie that was going to decide the match. I went one game up and was feeling good (despite the fact that I though I was playing No.1 last night and so had a bottle of wine and a few beers…………….. well in my defence Tuesday is my day off and I thought it wouldn’t make any difference as I was going to get thrashed at No.1 anyway!). I was also well up in the next two games (game ball up), but lost them both, which was tough to take, but all credit to James for digging in. I managed to win the 4th through sheer will-power, but unfortunately the 5th was not so good as once again I took a lead, but managed to lose it and I lost 15-13 in the last (MOTM to James).
    Kev went on last and there was not too much doubt about who was going to win this match. He played Chris Patrick and I think Chris was resigned to his fate from the off as he lost 3-0 a bit too easily. Mind you it’s tough when Kev is sending you the wrong way all the time.
    So on one hand it’s 10 points we didn’t expect to get, but also it’s 4 extra points lost and I need to get back into better form.

  13. January 13, 2010 at 10:40 am

    3rd Team Match Report for 6th January 2010
    Here’s the match report from the 3rds – just a quick one as I am out of the office tomorrow.

    The thirds were at Houston to face a strong Strathgryffe 3 who have their eyes on promotion. Normally, their courts are roasting but due to the freezing weather, the opposite was true and the ball was visibly slowing down at it travelled through the air.

    Stuart was first on at 4 against Alan Morrison. He got off to a good start taking the first game. He was doing fine in the second but after the lights went off, he immediately served out and the momentum swung Alan’s way. Alan squared the match and then edged a close third. Alan took control in the fourth and won the match 3-1. Stuart claimed the lights going out was the turning point. You’ll find that under desperate excuses in the squash players handbook!

    On the other court, Jason was matched with Mike Gallagher. Mike won the first 2 games but it was pretty close. In the third, Jason threatened to get right back into it playing some great backhand drives but not wishing to be boring, he chose to play a variety of shots which were nothing like as effective. Mike eventually triumphed for a 3-0 victory. 6-1 to Strathgryffe so far.

    Morgan was next on at 2 against David Archibald. This turned out to be the match of the night. David’s strength was his great court coverage and these 2 had some great rallies. Morgan, no slouch herself, was chasing everything too and time after time, kept herself in it by playing the ball off the back wall. David took the first 15-13. Morgan took the second 15-10. David went ahead again winning the third 15-11. Morgan stormed back and squared it, taking the fourth 15-11. Morgan got near the winning post in the last but David came back strongly to trail 12-13. A mis-hit winner gave Morgan match point, David saved it, but still faced another on his serve. He couldn’t repeat the feat and Morgan took it 15-13. It was no surprise that both players received the player of the match accolades afterwards.

    So we were still in with a chance when Paul took to the court against veteran Ian Connell, the Tiger Woods of squash, sporting a white glove on his racquet hand. (I wondered where you were going there! Ed!) Ian was just a bit too experienced for Paul and ran out a 3-0 winner. That gave victory to the home side with a 14-4 lead.

    It was left to me at 1 to put some more points on the board. My opponent was Martin Lawson, a very mobile police officer. Martin took a fairly close first game but ran away easily with the second. I was having a problem with the cold court. It seemed that every time I let the ball go past me, it died at the back. I was also having trouble getting a decent length myself. I put maximum effort into the third game and with Martin starting to make a few mistakes, I was able to take it. Was the fightback on? Martin made sure it wasn’t by dominating the fourth and with my energy fading, he saw it out comfortably.

    So it was a 17-5 defeat.


  14. January 13, 2010 at 10:47 am


  15. January 19, 2010 at 7:13 am

    1st Team Match report for 13th December
    As expected a tough match against S.S.R.C. last night and as predicted a 3-2 result!

    First on was John F and he was off quite quickly too – too quickly for me to see the game I’m afraid, so all I can tell you is that he lost 3-0 to Paul Ferguson (he also disappeared quickly as well, so I couldn’t ask how he done it!).

    I went on next and was hoping to return to winning ways. My opponent was Peter Robson a new man to West Squash, from the North East of England and he (like me) had only lost twice this season. So I was expecting a tough match and that’s pretty much what I got, but fortunately I managed to sneak a win this week.

    I felt in control in the 1st game and won it comfortably, but the 2nd was much more of a struggle although I did manage to pip Peter in this one as well. The 3rd game saw me in a 4-1 lead and thinking I’d won already (I’ll never learn!), but Peter came back at me and went quickly to 8-4 and 10-5. This proved too steep a hill to climb and I lost this game with a spectacular crashing tin. The home crowd were now getting rowdy, sensing a come-back for their player. Their team mates crowded round him in-between the game and every time he hit a winner there were whoops of joy from the balcony and whenever I managed to get a point all I heard was Sean’s loan voice to keep me going; at one point I thought I must be playing against America in the Ryder Cup!

    Anyway the 4th game was also quite a tussle, but I managed to work Peter about a bit and sensed he was quite tired. I managed to kept a couple of points ahead for most of the game and I’d like to say what a spectacular overhead-backwalled-topspun rocket I played to win the match………………I’d like to say that, but it was more just your standard flat-rolling nic that did it…………………………OK, OK a mis-hit drive off the frame, but that’s not really the point is it! 3-1 to us.

    Next up was Sean and I missed his 1st game when he got chopped, but saw the 2nd game where Sean was handing out the chops himself. I went to have a word in-between games and said “Whatever you did in the 1st game, stop doing that and do what you did in the 2nd game!”. But Sean was determined to play completely differently (which I can only imagine resembled his 1st game) and he got chopped again. The 4th game was much tighter, but his opponent was moving the ball around too well and managed to just win a hard fought match 3-1.

    Next on was Kev against Peter Halliday. I saw that there was no one about to referee so I disappeared to the shower and sauna. And so to the match – there was very warm and relaxing atmosphere and someone appeared to have put floor-boards on the walls and ceiling………oh wait a minute that’s the sauna I’m describing! Anyway by the time I’d cooked myself on gas-mark four, Kev was 2-0 up and looking in not too much trouble. The 3rd game saw Peter thawaking the ball on his forehand and Kev moving quickly to cover these shots and then, when he gained control of the rally, he invariably got the ball past Peter to set up a winner. Best shot of the match however was a reverse angle that came out of no-where with a quick snap of the wrist, and a nice disguised trickle boast to win the match.

    So with the match at 2-2 (yes again!) Lyall went on last against Steven Halliday. Once again there was no one about to referee the match, so reluctantly I took the job on. The first game saw Steven take a 4-0 lead and I was thinking this is going to be a tough one for Lyall to come back from, but he came back to 4-4 immediately! Steve was encouraged by the early lead though and began hitting some great drives to the back and when Lyall let them go he was invariably in trouble on the next shot. The game finished at a tremendous pace and Steve recovered some great shots to win it. Lyall wasn’t about to make the same mistakes in the second and he didn’t give Steven a sniff of a lead and he took the drives much earlier and stepped the pace up. Steven was on the wrong end of a few rallies’ and looking tired and out of breath. He tried to get a couple of easy lets/strokes from me (the ref) at this point, but I didn’t think they were even close and said so. Steve wasn’t happy about this and from 2-2 lost the game 11-3 (ish).

    Lyall kept the pressure up in the 3rd and also won this convincingly and apart from a big effort by Steven at the start of the 4th game (which Lyall saw off) it was a good 3-1 win for the team and it also meant we won the match 3-2.

    So a 13-8 win for the team and a load of pizza for dinner (another good Wednesday night oot!)



  16. January 19, 2010 at 7:14 am

    2nd Team Match Report – 13th January 2010
    The seconds were also at Maryhill to face a strong SSRC 2. Brian and Scott, heroes from the previous week’s win over Strathgryffe, were missing so it was going to be even tougher than expected. On the plus side, Donald McDonald stepped in for a rare appearance to bolster the team.

    I went on first at 5 and was soundly trounced 3-0 by Kenny McGill. He was just too good. Donald followed against David Irvine and looked to be following my example by quickly going 2-0 down. However, Donald got into the game and won the next 2 very hotly contested games to level at 2-2. He couldn’t keep it up and David forged ahead in the decider to take it 3-2.

    Gordon faced David McCormack at no 3 and from the start, it looked to have the making of a marathon contest. Both players were prepared to indulge in rally after needless rally. It was David who was finding the winners in the exchanges though and he took the match 3-0. So we were losing by 12-2 at this stage.

    Steven went on next at 1 against an old Glasgow Accies team mate Martin Sullivan. The professor had too much skill and experience for a clearly ring rusty Steven and he romped to a 3-0 victory.

    To finish of, Colin had to face Joe Hely at no 2. Joe has taken a few notable scalps in his time and he quickly established a 2-0 lead. In the third Colin was as surprised as anyone when he was able to take the game to reduce the deficit. Normal service was resumed in the 4th though and Joe raced through it to win the tie 3-1. Not a good night for us going down 18-3.


  17. January 27, 2010 at 10:45 am

    1st Team Match report for 20th January 2010
    A good match tonight against Whitecraigs Rugby Club and some valuable points on the board!

    First up was John F (at No.5) against Colin Hutton. I missed the 1st game, which John lost 11-4 and as no one else saw it either I’m not taking John’s word for it that he was robbed! The 2nd saw Colin take a 8-1 lead and there was no coming back from that, however in the 3rd John was 6-1 up and it looked like he would salvage a point, but at 9-6 to Finders, Colin went on a great run of points to take the match 11-9 (3-0).

    I went on next at No.2 and I was a little bit jaded after a 2-day 700 mile business trip, but that’s not to take anything away from my opponent (Matt Anderson) who had learnt a new shot since our last encounter and was determined to play the trickle-boast at every opportunity! And it was working! I took the 1st game when I remembered (almost too late, at 8-4 down) that I should be playing more down the backhands side against a man with a booming forehand and won the game 11-8. Matt won the next two games easily and I think I was guilty of only playing down the backhand and also trying to win the points without putting the work in (4-11 6-11).

    I managed to change that in the 4th (with some great advice from Sean in-between games………no really Sean!………..Seriously I’m not joking!!!) and made Matt do a lot of running early on and this paid dividends at the end of the game and I took it comfortably (11-6). I thought I’d do the same in the 5th, but the rallies were too short for my liking and Matt was right in it at 6-5 up. However I managed to get a run going at this point and this ultimately saw me through to win the final game 11-8 and the match 3-2 (our guys nominated MOTM to Matt though for a great performance).

    Whilst I was slugging away Henry was on against an old team mate (from The Bannantynes-Budgies) called Jim Cross (at No.4), so I didn’t see this one. I heard that although Big H won the tie 3-0 it was a tough scrap and the result came down to the 2nd game when the score was 9-9. Every point was a big point at this stage and although Jim had a game ball at 11-10, Henry eventually came out victorious 14-12. The 3rd game was much more comfortable for the West Squash President and he took this 11-7 (and the match 3-0 and MOTM and also came through the match injury free and not a feather out of place!).

    Kev was on next (at No.1) against Dougie Emery and I think Kev was pretty confident. Having said that, Dougie played really well and kept himself in contention with a game-ball in the 1st (Kev eventually winning 12-10) and 8-9 in the 2nd game. However there was no doubt about who was going to win at this stage and Kev was up to his usual antics of trying to sending Dougie the wrong way at least twice per shot!! Anyway Kev won the final two games 11-8 11-5 to win the match 3-0 (and this put the team in an unassailable lead).

    Last on was Sean (against Alan Brown at No.3) and I had the pleasure of marking this one and was looking forward to explaining myself to Sean whenever I dared to give a decision against him!

    Sean’s won the 1st game quite easily and I thought this was going to be a comfortable win. Obviously so did Sean and he let Alan dominate the early part of the 2nd game and by the time Alan was 6-0 up he was going to be very tough to beat. This didn’t stop Sean from running around like a loony for the rest of the game, but he still lost it 11-5.

    I was still waiting for load of abuse from Sean over any decision, but the only moan I got was between games and he was complaining about a shot that had almost skimmed his nose, so I felt justified in telling him not to be a Muppet and to get back on and run the leg of Alan. And to Sean’s credit that’s exactly what he did and ended up winning the last two games 11-5 11-6 (although when I called match to Sean and his opponent Alan stood with his hand out to congratulate Sean, he was off to the water cooler to work out his strategy for the friendly afterwards and forgot that he’s won the match! Good focus!).

    So a good 15-6 win for the team and hopefully this will edge us ever closer to the top 5.



  18. January 27, 2010 at 10:46 am

    3rd Team Match report for 20th January 2010
    The 3rds were away at Whitecraigs RFC. We had comfortable victory at home in the first half, so we were hopeful of a good result.

    First on was Jason against Andy Walker. Jason took the first game in some style but found it much tougher in the second and it went to 14-14 before Jason edged it 17-15. The 3rd followed the same pattern, this time going as far as 16-16 match ball. It was Andy’s turn to get the break and he made it 1-2 in games. Jason stormed back to take the 4th and give us a 3-1 lead.

    I was on next at no 1 against Niall Davidson. I raced through the first game to take it 15-4. It looked like a straightforward win from then on. However, Niall had only been pretending to be rubbish and he established a big lead in the second. I was able to claw some of the points back but couldn’t prevent him from hitting some good winners which took him over the finishing line. In the 3rd, I kept my concentration and got myself back in the lead 2 games to one. In the 4th, Niall got right back into it and seemed set to level at 13-10 ahead. I managed to take the next 4 points to set up match ball. It was saved. Feeling that a dramatic climax was imminent, I chose 1. Match point again. I was in control of the rally and Niall had done well to retrieve a deep drive. The ball was sitting up nicely for me to finish it off. I chose to drop but it turned out to be a poor choice as it wasn’t tight enough. Niall raced in to send a drive down the wall for the winner. So it was down to a 5th set finale. Niall got to 7-4 but from then on, I was able to dominate and finished it off 15-9. So it was 6-3 to us.

    Helena was up against Crawford Steven at 3. She was playing confidently and soon had Crawford scurrying all over the place. She had too much skill and variety for her opponent and had a comfortable 3-0 victory. So the tie was won as we were already 12-3 up.

    Stuart was on at the same time as Helena but his match was far from straightforward. He was playing 12 year old Harry Anderson, son of first team stalwart, Matt. Stu won the first 2 games but Harry started getting into his stride and got right back into it. Harry was covering the court well and was getting to nearly all of Stuart’s shots. This was forcing Stuart into mistakes and Harry dug in well to take the next 2 games. Stu already had his excuse made up for losing – his leg was partially severed below the knee, merely held on by a sliver of tendon. Our money was on Harry at this stage but Stu was able to employ advanced SAS survival techniques to blunt the pain and recovered sufficiently to give Harry a game in the fifth. With Harry starting to look weary after his tremendous fightback or possibly it was just past his bedtime, Stu sensed that he could win this after all and began to force Harry into errors. Stu ended up as the big bully as he saw out the game to win 3-2. Harry won player of the match award! Now 15-5 to us.

    Last on at 2 was Morgan against Kieran O’Neill who she had already beaten 3-1 in the first half. The first 2 games could hardly have been closer but Morgan took them 17-16 and 15-13. Morgan lost her way in the 3rd and slumped to a 15-5 defeat. Was Kieran about to come back to win? Morgan was not about to let that happen and stepped up a gear and finished Kieran off 15-10.

    A very welcome maximum points haul in an 18-6 victory.


  19. February 3, 2010 at 1:40 pm

    1st Team Match report for 27th January 2010
    Good match for us tonight and William Hill are once again quid’s in (unless Ian C got a quick bet on – with a double on Man.U scoring 3 in the 2nd half!!).

    Henry was on (and off) before I got there (against John Bannister at No.5), so I missed this one, but it’s amazing how differently people see the same game, don’t you think? Here’s the gist of it:
    Henry – “I should have won the first game it was very close 13-15 and he was just a bit lucky and I was still half asleep.”
    John B – “The first game was hard fought but I always thought I’d win it.”
    Henry – “I dominated the second game and really thought that I’d found my form – I won it 15-4.”
    John B – “For some reason I tried different tactics in the 2nd game and slowed it down – this was a disaster and I got chopped”
    Henry – “Because the 2nd was so easy I relaxed too much in the 3rd game and he got right back into it and won 11-7 (ish)”
    John B – “I just reverted back to doing what I did in the 1st game and won this game easily.”
    Henry – “Well you know what it’s like when you mentally turn off in a game – it’s hard to turn back on again. That’s what happened in the 4th game, although it was tight if I’d been switched on I’d definitely have won it, but instead I lost 14-16.”
    Sean – “Henry was rubbish in the 5th and I can’t believe that he lost so easily to someone I thrashed!”

    Next up was Sean and he played Alan Susskind at No.4 and Alan was really in control of the first two games and won them easily. There was some discussion about a ball that hit Sean and was going to the front wall, but for some reason Sean managed to talk the ’stroke’ into a ‘let’ and the game went on. Sean managed to not let Alan have it all his own way after this and managed to get the ball behind him (there’s only one way to beat them, get round the back!) and had a lot of success in the 3rd game. It was tough in the 4th game as well, but Alan got back into his stride and started hitting the corners again and managed to close the match out 3-1.

    Lyall was on next against Mark Ford at No.1 – so with no warm up Lyall went on and started very slowly. This is not the best tactic against someone with the racket skills and awareness of Mark and so he proceeded to lose the first as Mark played really well and finished the game with a backhand-nic-kill.
    This really got Lyall going and he responded in tremendous fashion. He really worked Mark around the court and made every point a tough on. This began to take it’s toll on the ‘old man’ (!) and soon Lyall…………………………………
    (Scotland’s funniest squash pro???!?!?!?! Really!! It’s official! )
    was in control of the match. He won the next three games with some good controlled squash mixed with flashes of inspiration!

    Kev went on next against Paul Sweeney and I was also on shortly afterwards so I didn’t see Kev’s match. Apparently it was hard fought with Paul just losing the 1st and making a big comeback to win the 2nd. The 3rd and 4th both went to Kev and so the match was won 3-1. Kev was seen a little later looking far from happy about dropping a game (although ‘far from happy’ is Kev’s normal face, so it’s a little hard to say just how miffed he was! ).

    I went on last and if you’ve been counting you’ll know that it’s 2-2 in ties! The rest of the team are starting to think that I’m just wanting to be the glory guy who brings the match home, but I’d have to say that this would be a bit presumptuous and not at all like me at all! Anyway my opponent, Mic Cockburn, almost beat me last half (3-2) and so I had to be really up for this one.
    I had a good start and won the 1st game, but in the 2nd Mic got into his stride and started battering the hell out of the ball. The ball got so warm that I could hardly control it (nothing new there then I hear you say!) and started serving our regularly. I managed to win the 2nd, but was 4-8 down in the 3rd game and hitting the tin at regular intervals (due to the pressure Mic was putting me under). At one point all the tins got too much and I yelled “STOP IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT” – which was a mistake as I couldn’t breath for the next three rallies! Anyway I did ’stop it’ and instead just shut up shop and hit everything to the back. There was one really long rally and thankfully Mic was on the end of it (the wrong end) and I could see that he was breathing very hard afterwards, so I just tried to keep the rallies long at this point and it seemed to work as I made my way back to win the 3rd rubber and the game and the whole match! All thanks to me and the glory was all around me …………………………….. errrrrr………… OK maybe the guys were right after all!!!!!



  20. February 3, 2010 at 1:41 pm

    2nd Team Match report for 27th January 2010
    An abbreviated report for the 2nds this week, however it’s fair to say…..we well and truly pumped Craighelen 18-2!

    First on was Morgan and although I didn’t see this game she made short work of it (maybe Gordon could take a few lessons from her!) 3-0 and never under threat.
    Next up playing at 4 was Colin and he too wrapped it up in 3.
    On at No3 was Gordon and I did see this one as I was scoring. I think he threw the 1st game just to get more court time as he was 1 down in no time. 2nd game and he got back to his usual game (why finish off the point when you can keep the rally going for another 20 strokes?) Finally after many needless rallies, he wrapped it up in 4.
    Next up at No.2 was Yellow Lorry (Scott) and he had a close first game with Kieran which he would have won if he hadn’t hit so many in the tin. 2nd game was better and he took command from here on in with some nice disguised boasts and drops. He took the next 3 in his usual casual manner. Rumour has it he’s actually playing a game with Gordon this week (2 games in one week!!) so will be in even better form next week for taking the No1 position!
    I was up last and there were no real dramas to speak of, other than a rally at the start of the 2nd game which went on for some time and almost killed of my opponent (I think he was holding his breath and his face had turned purple) 3-0 in the bag and a final score of 18-2 for DL. Well done!


  21. February 3, 2010 at 1:43 pm

    Have you considered Morgan for the 1st team at all? Looks like you could could use some help. Go girl!!!!

  22. February 11, 2010 at 10:21 am

    Match Report for 3rd February 2010
    Did I predict a 3-2 in my pre-match report?? Yes I think I did!!!!

    First on was last minute sub John F against Kev Lawlor at No.5. John played really well and in-fact won the 3rd game against the run of play, he put in a tremendous effort in the 3rd and got Kevin laughing and losing the focus and managed to get ahead and stay ahead with some hard rallies and good short shots. However apart from that it was a bit like watching a dog chase a stick (no offence John – you were just up against a legend of West squash who is full of trickery and experience). Kev was pretty much in control of the rest of the game and I enjoyed watching the trade-mark Lawlor shots on display!

    Shock-er-rooney! I was on next, with no opportunity of bringing the team victory home!! I played at No.3 against Andy Philips (and it was obviously such an important match we had a professional marker in Dave Mathy – I immediately asked for a change of marker!!!! Only kidding Dave!).
    Andy started well and got an initial lead, then at about 3 points to 1 down I hit Andy on the back-swing which caused me to put the ball into the tin, now I assumed this was a stonewall stroke, but apparently not……who knew that? (Dave and Andy both tried to educate me in the ‘let’ decision after wards, but I’m still none the wiser! Ho-hum!). The good thing about the outrageous decision was that I got a bit fired up and managed to take the game by the scruff of the neck and win the first. However it was back to my normal self in the 2nd and Andy stepped up the pace and the power and whenever I left it short he punished me and won the game. So in the 3rd I didn’t give him so much to hit and this (mixed with some better movement and a couple of made up volleys that hit the nic) meant that I took the game. The 4th went much the same way and I added some better length to make things tricky for Andy – and so took the match 3-1.

    I then marked Sean against Michael Currie at No.4. Fantastic shots – great rallies – wonderful nic shots – this game had none of these!! And this was possibly due to Sean’s preparation for the match. 15 pints and a curry (apparently it was the dodgy currie that was to blame! And I’m not talking about his opponent?!?!?!). Any way I think I saw the worst rally of the season (possibly the century) in the first game and I’m not sure Michael could do much to improve things as most of the balls he had to deal with were in the strangest places in the middle of the court. I think we’ll just chalk this one up to experience and say Michael did what he had to, to win 3-0.

    Whilst all this hilarity was going on Lyall was playing Gary Mackay at No.1. Now this was a really good game and Gary played wonderfully well. Lyall looked like he wanted to win by trading shots with Gary, but unfortunately for him Gary was having a blinder and was chopping some fantastic shots to the front and, as usual, was volleying so high up the court that he was giving himself every opportunity to hit great winners. Lyall narrowly won the first, but Gary came right back at him and won the second. Lyall showed flashes of really dominating in the 3rd, but unfortunately they were only flashes and although he won the game Gary was still very much in it. The 4th went to Gary with some amazing angled-drop-shots into the nic, three in a row I counted at one point. Lyall tried to come back at him at the end of the game, but at 10-7 up Garry just needed one more and he was more than capable of doing that.

    A much steelier Lyall came out for the 5th and the ball was rocketed to the back on more than a few occasions. Gary was already tired by this point and the extra pace was a killer for him at this point in the match. Lyall dominated the 5th and never really looked like losing it – he kept the ball either too high or too fast for Gary and ended up winning 3-2. MOTM to Gary though I’d say.

    So with the match finely poised at 2-2 (again!) it was all down to Kev at No.2 against Andy McBean to land the match for us. No one fancied marking this one, but Andy Philips said he’d do it as Dave M was busy assessing him for his marking badge.
    Kev lost the first despite playing quite well, but in-between games he obviously reflected on how much better he’d have to compete if he wanted to win, because he came out and won the 2nd. The game ebbed and flowed and eventually (2 conduct strokes later to A.McB) we were at the 5th game.

    Kev started well and was really motoring around the court, he had some really impressive retrieving shots at full stretch to deal with and he did deal with them and in the main sent them back with interest. It was a tough 5th game and both players were questioning decisions, but Kev was always able to keep his nose in front and this proved crucial in such a hard fought match. Kev eventually crossed the finishing line to bring home a great (and a very narrow) victory against a team who are two places above. We won the tie by 13 points to 11 (thank god for the bonus points!).

    Great result for the team.

  23. February 11, 2010 at 10:35 am

    Well done boys. Hard fought result!

  24. February 16, 2010 at 3:19 pm

    You may have all been wondering why there was no pre-match report yesterday? Well the Renfrew v West End match was postponed last night and so the bad news it that there is no long and ramberly (!) report this week – but the good news is that there will be an extra one at the end of the season!!

    I reckon DLWE were running scared ……. or maybe they were worried about getting a baked potato after the match ……..or maybe they just didn’t fancy playing on the bright yellow court?? Who knows the answer? Maybe we called it off because we couldn’t face Maccer’s chat! ….. or I didn’t fancy losing to the in form Gunster (Lee Gunn) ….. or maybe Morgan and Jason L (our new National Junior Champions) weren’t available to fill in at No.1 and No.2!!!

    Answers on a postcard please!

  25. February 24, 2010 at 9:31 am

    Match Report for 17th February 2010
    Did I say 3-2, well once again I was right, but circumstances meant that it wasn’t the way I thought.

    I was first on court against Colin Martin, who is a tricky left hander with a very unusual grip which enables him to play some quite strange shots. Unfortunately (for Colin) it also restricts him in playing others, so the plan was to keep it behind him on his forehand and wait for the loose shot. This ‘cunning plan’ worked brilliantly in the knock-up, but it was a different matter in the game as Colin was all over the court like a cheetah (the animal not a card-player!) and at 9-10 down I was more than a bit concerned. However I managed to just do enough to win this by a nose 13-11.
    The 2nd game also saw us very close at 7-7, but I was beginning to get used to the drives that were travelling at Mach 3 – 1mm above the tin and I closed this game out 11-7. The 3rd game saw me tinning shot after shot and Colin taking full advantage of this as he was up 7-1. At this point I thought time to shut up shop and make no mistakes. Now this was one of my better decisions as I didn’t lose another point (a bit of a turn-around!) and took the tie 3-0.

    Sean (Norris) was on court at the same time so I missed the 1st game which he won 11-8 against Kenny Hardie. The 2nd was much closer although at 5-10 down Sean had to dig-in to eventually win it 13-11. And that set the theme of the tie, which was if Sean could keep the rallies going long enough Kenny would normally make the mistake first. And so it proved as he took the final game 11-7. In the bar afterwards, when the banter was kicking off, Kenny was very quick to ask Sean how he could sleep at night with the 3-bouncer in the 1st game, but Lyall came to Sean’s defense and said that it was definitely no more than 2 bounces!!

    Next up was Kev (Moran) against Andy McCully. Now Andy has had a torrid time of it this season at No.2 and in contrast Kev is currently in second position in the West stats-table for Division 1 ( so this looked like 3-0 to the home side and a match win for the night. Andy wasn’t helped by the fact that Kev confessed to playing well and at 7-0 up I though my granny may show up! But it wasn’t to be, although Kev did win this game comfortably 11-3. The next two were much closer (11-7 & 11-8) but in the end it was a comfortable win for the Harrow man 3-0.

    Next up at No.5 was Brian (Cadenhead) against first Division debutant Jamie Ramage. Brian’s first mistake was telling Jamie how tired he was after a red-eye flight to London that morning! I could see Jamie’s eyes light up at this information! Despite this Brian played well and dug in at 7-7 to win the 1st game 11-8.
    To say the second game was similar to the first was an understatement. The first 8 points were and exact carbon-copy of the 1st game and it was finely poised at 7-7 and the final score was 11-8. However this time it was Jamie who stuck in at the crucial time and evened the match 1-1.
    Now the tide was turning towards Townend and I was wondering if Brian had much left in the tank. The 3rd was another good battle and Brian worked very hard, and once again at 7-7 it was anyone’s game and once again Jamie pushed home the advantage and kept Brian stretching to the back. The 5th saw Jamie take a good lead and a tired Brian just couldn’t get back at him, so a win for Townend and their first points on the board.

    Last on was Lyall (Patterson) against Harrow’s Stuart Crawford at No.1. – I missed the 1st game as I was marking, but although Lyall was behind for most of the game he did pull back to 7-7. However just at this point Stuart stepped it up and took the game 11-7
    The second seemed to be much closed and although Lyall had to do a lot of retrieving he was still in it at 9-9. However once again this was the time that Stu found just a little bit extra to take the game 11-9.
    The 3rd was a strange old game and Stuart seemed to completely turn off. He was trying to win the points too quickly and this was no trouble for Lyall to step up to. The end of the game was scrappy as both players started trying to win easily, but at 10-3 up Lyall was always likely to find a winner (and he did).
    Stuart re-took control in the 4th and used his forehand to devastating effect holding Lyall and moving him into very difficult positions. Lyall did his best to chase, but in the end Stu was able to stretch Lyall until he made a mistake and he ended up winning the game 11-5 and the match 3-1.

    A good win for Lloyds though by 3 ties to 2 (14 points to 6).

    All the best


  26. February 24, 2010 at 9:31 am

    Match Report for 17th February 2010
    The seconds were at Whitecraigs Rugby last night. We had beaten them 3-2 in the first half but with their home advantage, it was going to be more difficult to repeat the feat.

    I was on first against Alan Imrie. I had played him in the first half and had been totally bamboozled by his unorthodox game. I tried to be prepared this time but it didn’t make any difference. He won 3-0.

    Gordon was next at 4. He was playing Niall Davidson. Gordon lost the first but took the next 2. It looked like a 3-1 win. However, Gordon was unable to maintain the momentum and went down 3-2.

    Steven was next at 3 against David Goldring. It was clear from early on that Steven wasn’t moving well. It turned out that he had hurt his ankle playing football. It was all over in no time. 3-0 to David. So we were down 12-2 at this point.

    Scott was next against Paul Harris. Unlike the rest of us, Scott looked comfortable on the court and was able to carve out a 3-0 win.

    Last on at 1 was Colin against Archie Pollock. He took the first game and although he lost the next 2, he was competing well and looked capable of winning in 5. However, his level dipped in the fourth and Archie saw him off for a 3-1 win.

    Overall, a 15-6 defeat.


  27. March 3, 2010 at 11:39 pm

    Match Report for 24th February 2010
    Well that was a right royal thrashing we were given tonight by the Giffnock lads.

    Kev (Moran) was on first against Chris Fergusson (the newly acquired Giffnock young gun from Edinburgh) at No.2. These two have been keen rivals from an early age, but Chris has been having the better of things recently, so this was going to be a tough one for Kev. They arranged to play early so I didn’t see this one, but it seems that Chris was in control. He won the 1st game, while Kev was having trouble with slippery floor so they changed courts for the 2nd game, unfortunately that didn’t help the cause and Kev was soon 0-2 down. Owen told me later that Kev always seemed to have the court conditions in the back of his mind and against someone of Chris’s quality this distraction was never going to help. So Chris won this one 3-0.

    So no team point yet.

    Next on was Brian Cadenhead v Graham ‘the Mugger’ McAinsh at No.5. This was always going to be an uphill battle for Brian against a past Giffnock Champion (on about 8 occasions). The 1st game was nip and tuck all the way and if Grahame took his foot off the gas at all Brian was right in there. Unfortunately Graham found a bit more at the end of the 1st game, to go 1-0 up. The 2nd was a game of two halves alright! Graham went 7-0 up and was looking like handing out a granny, but Brian counter punched (not literally) to get it back to 7-8; but once again Graeme saw the game home at the business end. I thought If Brian can just keep it even at the start of the 3rd game he could pinch the first team point of the evening, but at 8-2 down he was really staring down the barrel. Lazarus would have done well to come back from this and it wasn’t long until the Mugger had won the match 3-0.

    Still no team point!

    I was on next against former No.2 Owen Hadden and in the first point of the 1st game I fell over Owen’s foot whilst trying to hit a ball that was right in front of me, unfortunately that wasn’t how Lyall saw it and I didn’t get a let. However the injury I sustained when I fell meant I couldn’t run for the rest of the match!!!!……………………….. Actually that wasn’t why I didn’t run for the rest of the match; the reason was that Owen kept putting the ball too far away from me and normally it had hit the nic before I’d even taken a step, let alone broken into a slow trot.
    I didn’t have the best of attitudes towards the match before I went on as I told Lyall it may be up to him to get the team point, but that really didn’t have much to do with the mauling I got. I suppose I should be flattered that Owen took the game so seriously, but there was never any doubt that as to the result and the only question was whether or not he was going to granny me in the 2nd game when he was 9-0 up. Fortunately pride kicked in at this point and I salvaged a couple of points in that game. However the whole tie was over in about seven and a half minutes…………… and that included a five minute knock-up!

    Still no team point!!!!

    Next on was Sean Norris against Mikey Rodgerson at No.4. Another really tough one here and Sean asked me what he should do to beat Mikey. I thought to myself what advice would I give myself if I was playing Peter O’Hara and so I said “just go on and enjoy yourself!”
    It was actually a bit closer than that and there were times when I though the team point may be claimed especially in the 2nd and 3rd games when Sean made a great effort to get to 8-8, but Mikey was just a bit too strong and he finished the tie off 3-0

    Looking like no point!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Last up was Lyall Patterson against Jamie Macaulay and I was looking forward to this one. The match in the first half of the season was so close that this promised to be a good one to watch.
    I disappeared to the showers while they went on to knock-up and expected to see the battle raging at 1 point each in the 1st when I returned, so I was quite surprised to find out that Lyall was 2 games down. The 3rd game was hard fought and Jamie was playing his trade mark backhand drops with about half a millimetre to spare and Lyall was moving the ball well. The two were having a tough battle with Jamie moving very quickly to the front forehand and catching Lyall out with strokes against him a few times, but Lyall was also keeping the pressure on by moving Jamie all over the court. At 10 points up Lyall said “this one’s for the team!” and at last there was a point to the evening!
    Unfortunately Lyall wasn’t able to replicate this in the 4th and Jamie took control of the early part of the game. He managed to keep a few points in front and Lyall lost a couple more on a decision he felt aggrieved about. It all slipped away from Lyall at this point and Jamie ratcheted up the pressure to take the match 3-1.

    So a bit of a drubbing tonight, but the highlight of the chat in the bar afterwards was from Sean. I can’t repeat exactly what he said, but it was along the lines of me needing a sports bra!



  28. March 3, 2010 at 11:39 pm

    Match Report for 24th February 2010
    The seconds were at home to Whitecraigs LT&SC last night. They had beaten us 4-1 in the first half and last night turned up with a stronger team and we had a late call off to contend with. So despite Eric the Viking being drafted in to replace Gordon, it was going to be tough against a very experienced team with a combined age of 413.

    Eric went on first at 4 against Alex Everingham, a strong opponent and their number 1 from the first match. The Viking got off to a great start in the first game but Alex came back into it to get to game ball. Eric displayed all his battling qualities as he stormed back to take it 17-16. That game obviously took its toll on Eric as he found himself 13-0 down in the second. That was too much of a deficit to make up and Alex squared the match. In the third, it was level pegging until Alex found a late spurt to win 15-7. In the fourth, Alex got to 12-5 and looked set for victory until Eric went into turbo mode and got to game ball at 14-13. A big finale look to be on the cards. However, it was not to be as Alex took the next 4 points for a 3-1 victory.

    Colin was on court at the same time at 2 against Peter Lewis. Colin started off well and took the first game 15-10. Peter was more determined in the second and after a ding dong battle, he took it 17-16. Colin had a few tricks of his own up his sleeve and re-established his lead by winning the third. The fourth was going to be crucial and both players were determined to take it. Colin was still getting round the court very well and it paid dividends as he managed to just edge it 15-13.

    So it was 4-4 when Morgan went on against Scott Morton at 5. Despite having spent the last 5 days and nights without sleep, Scott drew first blood by taking the first game 15-9. Morgan replied in the best possible fashion by reeling off the next 3 games in fine style. Now 7-5 to us and just 1 more win needed for victory.

    I was first to go for glory against Norrie Lindsay at 3. I thought I was playing well in the first game but every time I played a loose shot, Norrie punished it. I ran him close but he was able to keep a point or 2 ahead and he took the first game 15-12. It was a similar story in the third and I lost it 15-10. There were signs of hope in the third but Norrie slammed the door and took it 15-12 for a 3-0 victory. Now 8-7 to them.

    So it was fitting that the scene was set for a grandstand finish for the number one players. Scott was facing Dennis “The Menace” Liddell. It was tight in the first game but from 10-10, Dennis took the next 5 points to get his nose in front. In the second, it was the same story. From 9-9, Dennis eclipsed his previous effort by taking the next 6 points for victory. Could Scott turn this around? He set about it in the right manner by convincingly taking the third 15-6. He didn’t reach these heights in the fourth but Dennis was making uncharacteristic mistakes which was making his task difficult. A sign of tiredness? Scott saw the game out 15-11. Everything hinged on the last game. Dennis kept ahead right the way up to 10-7 and we were all on tenterhooks but Scott got back level and despite a few scares, held on for a 15-13 win.

    An easy choice for man of the match!!

    Overall 13-10 to us.

  29. March 9, 2010 at 1:11 pm

    Match Report for 3rd March 2010
    Back to winning ways tonight as we played Cameron House and picked up a few points.

    I was on first and played Gus McCuaig at No.3. Gus is a tricky left hander with a reverse-angle and a sort of scooped forehand drop shot that he can (and does) play from all sorts of unusual lengths. Add this to a rocket of a drive from the back and it’s easy to see why he’s had five 3-2 matches already this season.

    The 1st game was tight at 6-6 and 9-9, but I managed to sneak home (11-9). The 2nd was much more clear-cut with an 11-4 result to me, but in the 3rd I made the mistake of letting him get ahead of me 9-6 (not that I could do much about it or I would have!) and with a scooped forehand drop and a reverse-angle Gus took the game 11-4! The 4th saw me really concentrate on giving Gus nothing to hit and this paid off as I went 9-1 up and from there it was always going to be tough for Gus to come back. So 11-3 game win and a 3-1 match win for me.

    Whilst I was on both John (Findlay) and Sean (Norris) were both on. John was having a right hum-dinger with Jim Paton which went to five. John lost the 1st 11-7, but came right back into the 2nd with a very tight 12-10 win (John was playing the 2 bounce rule in this game!). The 3rd went to Jim 11-8 and the 4th to John in a tight 11-9 and so to the 5th. Unfortunately John wasn’t really in it as he lost the decider 11-5, but did really well to get 2 points and so earned MOTM as did Jim for winning.

    Sean (I’ll do anything not to mark anyone else’s match) Norris decided to challenge his opponent Andy McGroarty to their tie instead of marking my match, so the two had to mark themselves. Sean was doing the calling and he managed to look incredulously at himself a few times and ask himself what on earth he thought he was talking about!

    His opponent confessed to being on a diet where he didn’t eat or drink for 3 days (maybe his wife and mine went to the same cookery school!!!! I hope she doesn’t read this!!! If so I’m only joking. If not please don’t make that potato soup again!?!?!??!). Anyway this diet must have been a bit energy sapping as Sean won 3-0 (11-6 11-7 11-4) and Andy left without eating.

    Lyall took to the court at No.1 against Rolf Hansen and with an outrageous pair of shorts won the first game 11-5. Having said that Rolf had an outrageous bright yellow shirt with three black lines down the back of it, which made him look like he’d just been run over by a bright yellow car! And when Lyall taxied him at game ball in the 2nd to win 11-6 it all became clear.

    However a defiant Rolf came out with all guns-a-blazin’ in the 3rd and as Lyall tried to tighten things up Rolf just ‘let fly’, which got him to 3-3, but that’s as far as he got as Lyall took the last game 11-3 and the tie 3-0 and the match 3-1!

    Last on was Kev and he won his match 33-12. He was playing Alan Barbour and they played the match as one long game with no beaks! That’s crazy! How does anyone do that????

    Anyway it would be safe to say that Kev was in control of the match and I don’t think that Alan was used to his opponents getting to the ball so quickly and playing so many different types of shots back at him. The game breakdown was 11-2 11-4 11-6 (and with that rate of points improvement each game, if they’d played the best of 13 Alan may have won!).

    So an overall excellent 17-4 win for the team.



  30. March 9, 2010 at 1:16 pm

    You don’t even like potatoes!

  31. March 11, 2010 at 9:20 am

    Match Report for 3rd March 2010
    Last week, the 2nds were at Milngavie & Bearsden. Whitecraigs LTC had told us the previous week that there had been no heating on their visit there the week before. There was no repeat of that for us. In fact, it was so hot on the balcony that you were in danger of being cooked. You could hardly touch the ledge. We had to watch the action from a distance.

    Eric was first on at 5 against veteran, Ian Hay. Ian took the first 2 games but Eric came back and won the third. At this stage, Ian was getting frustrated with some of Colin’s marking decisions. This culminated in a bizarre Jesus Christ name calling episode. “Don’t call me Jesus Christ!” “You called me Jesus Christ!” “No, you called me Jesus Christ!” This Pythonesque confrontation temporarily ceased (more later) sufficiently to let the squash resume and Ian managed to take the next game to win 3-1.

    Morgan was on next against Steve Lott. Steve just had the edge in the first 2 games but Morgan looked to be turning it around in the third. Steve wasn’t giving up the game without a fight though and got back into it. It was very competitive at this stage and it was anybody’s game. Steve got to 14-13 match ball. A tense rally followed. Morgan played the ball down the middle and Steve took it off the back wall and slammed it into Morgan’s thigh. The marker called a stroke to Steve. I argued that Steve should have lost the point for hitting Morgan. It was then that Ian got involved again. Voices were raised and one thing led to another and the Jesus Christ issue resurfaced. Before we could ascertain whether this was the 5 minute argument or the full half hour, we managed to calm Ian and Colin down and concerned ourselves with whether or not daylight could be seen through the hole in Morgan’s leg. She assured us that she was OK and had fared much worse during an average hockey match. She then had to leave to get back to her studying.

    I was next on at 3 against a mere youth, Ross Taylor. I was still fired up after the verbal conflict and started off aggressively. I raced through the first game 15-4. Surely this level of domination couldn’t last. The next game was also 15-4 to me. I then realised that even if my level dropped, I wasn’t going to lose this. I eased off in the third and took it 15-6. So we were still in with a chance at 6-4 down.

    Next it was a re-run of the epic battle in the first half. The 2 Scott’s were facing each other again. M&B’s Scott Hay won the first encounter at Lloyds so our Scott had his work cut out to get his revenge. Sadly, it wasn’t to be. It was nothing like as close as the first match and SH ran out a comfortable 3-0 winner. The match was therefore lost and we were 12-4 down with more potential misery to follow.

    From Scott v Scott, we now had Colin v Colin at 1 to finish. From the start, our Colin looked to be a match for Colin McGeady and the first game was very close. However, Mr McGeady just edged it and from there on he took control. He was even able to throw in a couple of his corkscrew serves. He took the match 3-0 to leave the final score 15-4.

    So it was off to the bar. Don’t mention JC. I mentioned him once but I think I got away with it.


  32. March 17, 2010 at 12:49 pm

    Match Report for 10th March 2010
    Well as expected a tricky tie for us tonight without Lyall (who is playing doubles for Scotland in India as a warm up event for the Commonwealth Games! Where’s the commitment to the team Lyall!!!?!?!?!).

    Logington requested an early start and so most of the troops were there for 6.15pm to get the match off to a flyer. When I arrived at 7pm two games were over and Kev (Moran) was 1-0 up against (soon to be) Scotland’s newest O35’s Internationalist Mr Iain “the legend” Logan (although I have another nickname for him!). Anyway Kev was playing a very different game this week as Logie was making life tough for him to be too flamboyant. So we saw a much more workman like performance from Kev and he even shut up shop a couple of times when required and made Logie play the ball down first (which is no mean feat!). Kev took the 2nd game in just such a manner and looked in control, he also only had a tiny sweat patch which was about the size of a squash ball above the logo of his t-shirt and Richard King thought this wasn’t sweat, but Kev drooling at all the tasty shots that Logie was offering! The 3rd game was again tight and the pace was fast and furious and did I see Logie moving the ball around a bit – surely not! Kev was ahead for most of the game, but right at the end Logie came back at him and at 9-9 RK called out “Big Point Logie” and he was right. Unfortunately for Logie, Kev once again shut up shop and in a long rally it was once again Logie who made the error and one point later it was all over 3-0 to Kev.

    Henry (Reid) came out of semi-retirement as the team really needed him this week and like a true team player he was there for us. His leg was well strapped up (from shorts to sock with what looked like one leg of a wet-suit according to Dave Kelly!). He was up against an in-form Karl Stygal who hadn’t been told it was a Wednesday match and so was hitting nics for fun. Karl ran away with the 1st game and Henry reckoned that this was the time to dispense with the flippers and snorkel. The 2nd was much closer, but still Karl was in control and he won the game. Off came the oxygen tanks and mask and Big H was ready to make a major push in the 3rd, but unfortunately it was to no avail and an in-form Karl won 3-0 and Henry limped to the bar to have a chat with Stella.

    I was on last against Colin Stirrat and looking forward to as tough a game as we had in the first half. Dave Mathy was marking and (in a new personal record) it only took me three hits of the ball to query the first refereeing decision! But this wasn’t typical of the match as it was a very good natured game and Colin was such a gent he didn’t even get too upset when I unleashed the “Broadberry Block” in one of the games!

    Colin dominated the 1st game and really made me feel average (not hard I hear you all cry! Well that’s a bit rude!!) he made me turn again and again and drove hard to the back and was quick at the front. 1-0 to Colin. He was also well up in the 2nd, but I began watching much better and when I came back to 8-8 I knew that this was my chance. Fortunately I was able to take the chance and I levelled the match 1 game each. I continued this on in the 3rd and managed to play tactically much better, by keeping the pressure on to clinch this one and go 2-1 up.

    I must have gone to sleep in the next as I was 5-0 down before I even knew what was happening. Colin got back to dominating the points and I stopped watching him as well. Colin romped home easily…………… and so to the 5th!! Sean was giving me his “view from the balcony” in-between all the games, but he came up with a real golden nugget in-between the 4th and 5th. “When you lob him he’s not returning very well”. I don’t usually need a second opportunity to play a lob so this sounded very interesting news. I had a shaky start to the 5th losing the first two points on the serve! Doah! But then I managed to reel it back to keep the pressure on. Whenever I was in trouble I sent up a lob and sure enough they generally put me in a good position to attack. At around 5-5 I thought the next few points were going to be crucial and fortunately I managed to win them. Once I got to 9-6 I knew I was going to be tough to beat and so I pushed again to win the last few points and managed to get a very hard fought 3-2 victory against a very tough opponent.

    So what happened before you got there I hear you ask? Well John (Findlay) played Dave Kelly and all Dave could tell me about the match was that John was jumping up and down at various points shouting at himself, the marker and Dave. This sounded like our John, but other than that all I heard was that Dave won the match 3-0.

    Sean played Richard King at No.3 and although he lost 3-0 seems to have been in the 2nd and 3rd games losing 11-7 11-7. Richard was amused by a ball that went 5 feet out but wasn’t called by the ref. I immediately assumed that Sean was the ref, but apparently not!! And Sean got a few rough decisions of his own according to Rich. However King Richard was triumphant tonight and Sean would have had to play out of his skin to make a dent in this match.

    So overall a 15-6 win to Western 1 and we were in the bar for 9pm for a very nice Chinese meal and a well earned pint. Then when finished we watched the last tie of the Western 4 v Newlands 4 match which was a wee cracker 17-15 in the 5th at No.1
    And so we head to the final match of the season next week.



  33. March 17, 2010 at 12:49 pm

    Match Report for 10th March
    Last night, the 2nds had their last away match of the season against Giffnock 3. We needed to get a few points on the board just to banish any lingering threat of relegation. It turned out to be a cracking match, probably the best of the season.

    First on at 5 was Wullie McQuarrie making a rare appearance to bolster the team. He was up against Andy Penman and it was a rare old battle. Wullie took the first 2 games but only just. Andy came back to deservedly take the third. Wullie did enough to keep his nose in front in the fourth to take the match 3-1.

    I was on next at 4 against John Dick. This was to prove even tighter than the last match. In the first, I managed to get the last few vital points to take it 15-11. In the second, John got into a 13 -8 lead and looked to be set to level the tie. I got a few point back but John reached game ball at 14-11. I fought back to level at 14-14 and John called set 1. My momentum carried me through to win 15-14. That effort took it’s toll in the third and I lost it 15-7. I kept it competitive in the fourth and the game was poised at 7-7. A combination of good shots by John and slackness by me led to me losing 6 points in a row to trail 13-7. A deciding set beckoned. An even better comeback was required and I duly obliged by taking 8 consecutive points to win 15-13. Now 6-2 to us.

    It was then up to Gordon to deliver the coup de grace and get the bonus points. He started off well and took the first game. His opponent, Gregor Imrie, came back to take the second. Gordon took the next. In the fourth, Gordon continued to indulge in his rally after needless rally strategy. He had been getting success throwing in the odd drop shot but seemed to have abandoned this despite his opponent appearing to look tired. Gregor squared the match. Gordon went into his usual 5th set showdown. Unfortunately, he looked totally out of sorts and lost it tamely. So 8-5 to us and all to play for.

    Colin was next to try against tennis coach, Nick Firth. Colin has hit a rich vein of form recently and showed this in the first game by covering the court really well and hitting some great winners. First blood to Colin. In the second, Nick came back into it and seemed set to level it when he was 12-6 ahead. However, Colin came storming back and won 17-15. Again, the effort seemed to take its toll and Nick was able to take the third. In the fourth, Colin took control and despite a late surge by Nick, he got to match point 14-13. Nick saved it and Colin chose to set to 3. The crowd were on edge as the advantage swung to and fro with some exciting rallies. At 16-16 match ball, Colin played a superb forehand drive into the corner. Nick was never going to reach it but desperately called for a let. Amid loud gasps from the away team, marker Andy granted it. The felony was compounded when Nick took the next point to level the match. Surely, Colin wasn’t going to let the match slip now! It didn’t look like it as he raced to a 14-8 lead. Nobody should have had to endure what we went through over the next few minutes. Time after time, Colin failed to get the required point. Eventually, when we were resigned to another set 3 showdown, Colin won a rally to take the game and the match and the 3 bonus points and the man of the match award and the most relieved player award. He also reprieved Andy from having to justify his controversial let decision.

    So we were leading 14-7 going into the last tie. Brian was taking on Ryan Maxfield. This was also a fiercely contested match. Brian took the first, Ryan the second and the result was in the balance when it got to 14-14 in the third. Brian redoubled his efforts and took it 17-15. That seemed to break Ryan’s spirit and Brian took the fourth more comfortably.

    An excellent 17-8 victory and a great match played in a great spirit.


  34. September 30, 2010 at 11:34 am

    Match Report for 17th March 2010
    Well not entirely surprising tonight we got chopped by the team that are going to finish 1st in Division 1 (sorry for the long report, but it is the last one of the season!).

    At 7pm there were 5 teams all looking for a game and this was surprising as only 2 teams were playing at home. Eventually the Whitecraigs players realised that they were at the wrong David Lloyd and left (although not before I’d managed to get a preview sample bottle of ‘Big Peat’ Whisky from Fast Freddy Lang’s – which I must say is going down a treat at the moment!)

    First up was Lyall (Paterson) against James Snell (PSA No.96) and this was an interesting match to watch. James is quite a conventional player and as his ranking would suggest he’s also very good at what he does. Lyall tried to play conventionally against him in the first, but this didn’t work as the Newlands man was just better at it than Lyall. So a slight change in plan was called for and Lyall was right in the 2nd game. He trailed for most of the game, but at 6-10 down he began playing some wonderful shots to haul himself back and at 9-10 he played his trademark back-hand cross-court drop into the nic to the delight of the crowd, who were hoping that he could convert this pressure into a game. Unfortunately this wasn’t the case and James managed to hold it together to win 12-10. I think Lyall had given it his all in the 2nd as James dominated the 3rd game and won this match 3-0.

    Next up was Kev (Moran) against Peter O’Hara. Now Kev had taken a game from Peter in the first half and (with some great form of late) was hoping to at least repeat this feat; Peter had other ideas however and was keen to win in 3 games. Kev battled hard in the first game, but at 5-5 Peter managed to keep his nose in front and won 11-8. The start of the second was very close, but at 3-3 Peter dominated the rest of the game and ran away with it 11-5. I went to mark another match at this point and missed the ensuing fireworks! From the other court I could only hear snippets of both Peter and Kev starting sentences with phrases like “Behave yourself Stuart……” and “How can that be a stroke…..” and as things got closer the voices were getting louder. The scores in the 3rd were 8-8, 9-9, 10-10 and 11-11 and it didn’t sound like an inch was being given. Peter pushed on in this game and eventually won the game 13-11 and the match 3-0.

    Meanwhile Henry was playing Peter Malone at No.4. Once again Henry has stepped into the breach for the teams as Sean pulled out yesterday with a feeble parents evening excuse. It was only when someone mentioned that it was St Patrick’s Day that I suddenly understood!

    Anyway Henry played at No.4 against Pete Malone, with a massive bandage around his leg, which was giving him more surgical support than the NHS! It was a tough 1st game and at 7-6 up Henry looked like he could take it, but Pete came back and closed the game out 11-8.

    The 2nd was “a game of three thirds!”. Pete went 5-0 up, Henry came back to 4-5 and Pete then won 11-4. The serve only changed twice in the whole game!?!?! In the 3rd game it was much better squash and Henry battled well, but I always felt Pete had that little bit more and so it proved as he won the game 11-6 and the match 3-0.

    Next up was John “Finders” Findlay against Stuart “the dog” Brunton. This game was like the light relief in between the main events, it was as if they’d just let the clown’s on! Well I say clowns, but I mean clown as John was obviously de-mob happy with it being the last game of the season. It was however all going well for him at the start of the game as he won the spin (!), but it quickly deteriorated after that. In fact when he was 10-0 down I was wondering if he thought I meant an individual point when I’d told him we still needed a team point! Anyway I called “10-0 Granny Ball” and we got a delighted John whooping and jumping about as he clinched the point. However the game was safe and Stu won 12-2 (but not before an ecstatically delighted John got another point).

    I think John has worked out his very own let/stroke quota system and he seems to believe that 100% of decisions should be split evenly between ‘let’, ‘stroke’ and ‘no let’! And so was completely confused at how, no matter how many times he asked for a ‘stroke’ for a shot he was nowhere near, he was getting ‘no let’ 100% of the time. Still the crowd were enjoying the antics as John doubled his tally in the 2nd game (12-4) and he even had Stuart mucking about in the 3rd game and the master plan almost paid off at 8-8, however Stuart was not to be fooled and he closed the game out 11-8 and the match 3-0 (John retired to the dressing room to remove his make-up and red nose!).

    Aptly enough there was an intermission at this point as we waited for Malky Watt and I was in the mood for candyfloss (!) but instead watched Wishaw’s Peter Shievas play on the next court (he’s still got that steely air about him and no nonsense style).

    Anyway Malky bustled into the club and we went to knock up. After about 20 seconds Malky asked if I wanted to change sides and I thought this was my chance to nick the 1st game as he couldn’t possibly be ready to start a match so soon. So with a very short knock up on both sides I took a 4-0 lead in the 1st game and then a 10-4 lead before Malky had even woken up! And so I won the 1st game 11-4.

    The 2nd was much more even at 3-3, but I got a good run of points at this time and was soon 8-4 up. “Right” I said to myself “whatever you do don’t let him back in” – at 8-8 however I realised this didn’t quite pan out as I’d have hoped! At this point Henry gave Malky a ‘no let’ decision and told him that he wouldn’t have got the ball (Malky looked disgusted at this!). Then at 10-9 game ball my strings went on the return of serve and I was wondering how I was going to stay in this rally. Clonking the ball was out of the question as the strings would have gone all over the place and so when Malky dropped the ball I got involved in a counter dropping exercise until a ‘let’ was asked for. Mission accomplished! And I headed straight for the door pointing at my strings to change the racket. After fishing in my bag and pulling out my ‘Mojo’ I was surprised to hear that Henry had given the game to me (much to Malky’s disgust) – and I thought “Wow that Mojo really works!”

    I saw POH giving some advice to Malky in-between the games and I thought I hope he doesn’t tell him to play that bloody annoying backhand tennis volley. At 5-2 down I realised that was exactly what he’d told him. I did get back into the game at 8-9, but Malky won this game 11-8 and he also went straight through me in the 4th 11-2.

    And so to the 5th! This was a tough game and I had Malky on the end of a couple of massive rallies which I didn’t mind losing as he’d done a lot of running to cling in. I tried to extend the next few rallies as well, but this didn’t work as well as I’d planned. Anyway the game ebbed and flowed until we got 10-10 and it was at this point that Malky pushed ahead and won the game 12-10 and the match 3-2

    So 18 points for the Champions and only Henry and I managed to get a point each!! (and both were in my game!?!?!?!?!?!)

    All the best


  35. September 30, 2010 at 11:36 am

    Match Report for 17th March
    For the final match of the season, the seconds were hosts to Wishaw who still had title ambitions, being only 1 point behind leaders SSRC. They had whitewashed us 18-0 in the first fixture but their home advantage and our weakest team of the season were major factors. It would surely be closer this time. Wishaw had brought a travelling support to witness a potential championship victory.

    I was on first at 4 against Bobby Cameron. I never really got going here and each time I threatened to make a fight of it, Bobby slammed the door in my face and got the vital points. 3-0 and the perfect start for Wishaw.

    Gordon was next on at 3 against Norman Paterson. Norman took the first game but Gordon took the next 2. Norman squared it in the fourth and it was all to play for in the fifth. It was the home team who got the victory and it was a point dropped for Wishaw.

    Colin faced up to Martin Bradshaw at 2 in the next match. Colin was a bit under the weather and he would have had his work cut out even if fully fit. Martin had a bit too much in his locker for Colin and he ran out a 3-0 winner.

    Brian had the unenviable task of facing Peter Shivas at 1 to keep our hopes of winning alive. In the first game, Brian was being sent all over the court to retrieve Peter’s vast array of shots. He tried valiantly but it was too much to ask. Peter improved as the match wore on and Brian’s resistance waned as tiredness took its toll. It was 3-0 to Peter and 14-3 to Wishaw.

    Due to a late call off, we had Paulo Mori making a rare appearance at 5. He was up against Paul Eley. Paul needed to win this to keep the pressure on SSRC who were playing Giffnock in their last match. The first 2 games were shared. Paulo seemed to be taking control as he established a good lead in the third. However, Paul pegged him back and overtook him to get to 14-13 game ball. Paulo saved it and Paul called set 3 and was justified as he took it 17-16. Paulo redeemed himself in the fourth to take it into a deciding game. Paulo felt he had been the victim of some bizarre refereeing decisions from Bobby although he fully accepted the twice he was called for foot faulting on serve. Despite this, he kept competitive and it was nip and tuck all the way. Paul got to match ball at 14-13 but Paulo got the vital point to level. Paul called set 3 again but this time it was Paulo who got the points to win 17-15.

    So it was 16-6 to Wishaw but the feeling was that it would not be enough to see them as champions as they feared that SSRC would get a maximum against Giffnock.

    In the restaurant afterwards, calls were coming in from SSRC and Strathgryffe asking how they were getting on. Eventually, it was discovered that SSRC had also got 16 points so they had won it by 1 point. Another one point would have done it for Wishaw as they had a better overall record than SSRC. The inquest began. If only Paul had converted his match point. If only Norman had beaten a guy who hadn’t won a match for months. Anyway, promotion to division 2 is their just reward.

    For us, it’s another season in Division 3. Will we be any stronger next year?


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