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Optical Express DLWE v Western– Away Match Report) 26th October 2016
A great match up last night as we went to Western to play their 1st team. The match swung one way then the other!
First on was Doug (Macmillan) against a the rejuvenated Richard King at No.5. Richard has been out of the game for 5 years or so with an injuries, but is now back and moving the ball very well indeed. Doug played the best I’ve seen him this season and was moving well himself, giving Richard plenty to think about. The match went to the 5th. When Doug hit a good length he was well in the match (unsurprisingly – if you know anything about squash at all this shouldn’t be a massive surprise! Although it often is for everyone!! 😉 ), but if he was short Richard was slotting the ball away nicely. It was a tough 5th but eventually Richard just won on experience to take the first rubber.
Next on was Finlay (McGhee) against Mhairi Charlton at No.4. Now Fin had lost to Marry previously so this was going to be a tough one, but he was up in the 1st game. However Mharry forced the pace, dominated the middle and kept Finlay well behind her to win the game. The 2nd was much of the same and once again Marhiri was just too consistent in hitting the back corners. So Fin would just have to win in 5 games. Great plan, but Mhairi wasn’t in on it and she finished things off 3-0.
So we were 2-0 down in the match and next on was Jason (Lang) v Liam Dickson at No.2. This was a great match, very athletic and frenetic, with some barn-storming rallies. Jason lost the 1st game on a ‘no let’ – which was fair enough, but tough to take! Then he came right back, as did Liam….. as did Jase again! And so to the 5th! Another great game decider with both players moving like two sparrows having a fight – but Jase squeezed a few too many mistakes out of Liam and managed to secured the 3-2 win.
The No.1s went on next and Craig (Valente-Wallace) played Peter Halliday. This was an interesting one to watch (although not to mark!) and I was very impressed with Craig’s movement. We’ll gloss over the 1st and call it Peter’s warm up game – but after that things got much tighter. However Craig was just too quick for Peter tonight – he anticipated well and looked strong on the ball. The next 2 games were tight and both players looked a bit grumpy, but Craig won both to take the tie and also to take the match into a scintillating decider!
Well it would have been scintillating if I was about 3 times as good as I actually am! I played Steven Halliday at No.3 and right from the word go it was obvious what the score was going to be. I did particularly well in the 2nd game and when I got to 9 first I thought this could be my chance, but unfortunately I was always second best and the only advise I could think of was “The way to beat Steven is to be better!”
Did you see that result coming? I saw this one being very close as ‘Optical Express’ DLWE were pipped 2-3 in the match – boooooo!
So to the bar and Western’s (Vegan) capt. – Liam – forgot to get himself, and me, a meal. So there was nothing else for it – a blond & nuts for me (that’s a bottle of Arran Blond & a pack of ‘Nobbies Nuts’ – in case you were wondering!) and a pizza on the way home!
Optical Express DLWE v Hamilton – Home Match Report) 12th October 2016
Hamilton came to call last night and it was one of those Wednesdays when everything goes well. We had 2 courts all night; the team T-shirts arrived; the food was good and we won – amazing!

Jason L – Jason B – Craig V-W – Finlay McG – Dougie Mac
First on court was all 5 of us as we posed for the team photo in the brand new Optical Express sponsored team tops!
But other than that Finlay (McGhee) v Scott Hay were first on court at No.4 – Fin was catching Scott with his cross-court drops, mixed in with good length. I didn’t see much of the game, but I did hear Scott’s coach (John Kirby) tell him to watch out for ‘this shot’ and ‘that shot’ and I thought I know exactly what you mean as he does it to me all the time as well (and it’s bloody annoying!). 3-0 to Fin
Next on was Craig (V-W) against Calum Phillip at No.1 – a good 1st game for Craig, but Calum started hitting his straps in the 2nd and with the really high swing, power and deception was having a lot of success – so much in fact that he won the 2nd game! But Craig was ready for him after that and was reading all of Calum’s tricks and keeping him tied to the back. So Craig brought home the match 3-1 to a more and more resigned Calum.
I was on next against Chris McGeady at No.3. Now we had a real hum-dinger of a match last time on the Hamilton ‘Sauna’ courts. I’d just managed to pip Chris in the 5th and I’d definitely used up my ‘Get out of Jail Free’ card during that encounter. Fortunately for me I dominated proceedings this time, on the colder courts and I volleyed particularly well (for me). Chris changed tactics in the 2nd game and I was happy to trade a few shots with him. The upshot was a 3-0 win for me – I was very satisfied with my performance (although Chris had a glint in his eye as he said “I look forward to the rematch in the Sauna!”) .
Doug (Macmillan) was 1-0 down and faffing about in the 2nd when I took over marking this match (against Stephen Healy at No.5). Fortunately he faffed his way to a 12-10 win in that game and so at 1-1 it was still anyone’s. Also at 8-8 in the 3rd, it was still anyone’s, but it was about here that Doug put the pedal to the metal and took the initiative with some much more positive squash and good length. So the eagle was landed and 1-1 soon became a 3-1 win to Dougie.
Jason (Lang) was last on against Colin Towers at No.2. and this was a mismatch in many ways, such as in height and also in age of racket! Not only was there was about 4 foot separating the two of them, but Jason’s brand new Harrow Vapor was gleaming next to Colin’s 20 year old antique of a racket! Unfortunately for Colin the game was a bit of a mismatch as well because Jason was playing well and was just too sharp for Colin.
So a 3-0 win for Jason meant the team got an excellent 18-point haul. MOTM to either Fin or me I’d (modestly) say and to Stephen Healey for Hamilton.
And the jacket spuds were baked to perfection. Everyone enjoyed them – even me (who doesn’t like potatoes!) and even Colin Towers, who I’ve never seen eat anything at a team match for 25 years, had half a potato!
West Knockout Cup Pre-Season Tournament starts 7th September – get those entries in!
West Open Racketball @ Newlands 25th June – Pictures
West Racketball Open – 25th June 2016 at Newlands
DLWE v Newlands – Away (Racketball Match Report) 20th April 2016

So the first ever West League racketball match started last night and we were playing Newlands away – and we all turned up discussing what the rules were and if it was up to 11 or 15. Alan Susskind said 11 so we began.
First on was Dangerous Dave Ritchie against the aforementioned Alan Susskind. This was a good game, but Alan was always in control and David spent more time lambasting himself and hitting his leg with the racket than winning points! Having said that Alan has been playing racketball for ages and is a very steady player, so no real surprise that he beat David 3-0. Having said that the 1st game was 11-8 to Alan until we realised that we were supposed to play to 15, so a curious score line of 11-8 15-13 15-8!!
Next on was Michael Jackson against Kenny McBrearty. Michael hasn’t played that much and doesn’t even own a racket yet! So it was somewhat surprising that he went 2-0 up! (must’ve been the Harrow racket I lent him!). However with every rally Kenny was getting into his stride and he began to reel Michael in. 2-0 became 2-2 and eventually Kenny gained more control of the ‘T’ and brought the match home 3-2. But an excellent two points from Michael.
While this was going on David Craig was playing at No.2 against Gavin Mack. Dave steamed into a great lead in the 1st game and Michael was 2-0 up on the other court at the same time so I dared to dream that we had a chance! However Gavin was a ‘no mistake’ player and Dave (who also does not own a racket yet!) just gave away a little too much. None the less all the games were tight and there was even a tie breaker in the 2nd, but Gavin eventually won 3-0.
I went on last against Ian (the octopus) Donnellan. I played well and didn’t let Ian in the 1st game, however I did let him in the 2nd and at 15-15 it was anyones! Fortunately my mantra of “hit straighter, get to the ‘T’ & volley more” saved the day – not that I did any of those things, I just hit a winner off the frame whilst thinking about them! The 3rd game was easier for me as you can see from the video (I’m not showing any of the points Ian won!) and I won the match 3-0.
A stack of (semi burned) pizza for dinner went down a treat with the lads and we hardly mentioned Michael losing to a girl in the dim and distant past of the squash season!


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DLWE (Kelvin Financial Planning) v Giffnock 1 – Home (Match Report) 9th March 2016

Giffnock 1 this week and apparently they only needed 6 points to win the 2015/16 Division 1 title!
They were obviously a bit worried as they had the full squad out this week! And no surprise as we were well in the lead at the start of the match and they were lucky to come back at us!?!?! No really!
Normal proceedings of, ‘Do you want to start early?’ Followed by 1st game on at 7.15pm and no one else there until 7.30pm applied. However eventually the No.5 pairing of Joe ‘well warmed up’ McDonald v Niall Morris were on the show court and:
- Joe got off to a flyer winning the 1st game 11-9
- Next on was Doug Macmillan who also stormed the 1st game at No.3 against James Singh!
- And third on at No.2 was Jason (Lang) who had an epic 1st game win (13-11) against Stuart George!
So The Mighty Giffnock looked down and out – they were quaking in their collective boots – they could see the title slipping away from their grasp……right up until they won every other game! (I’m thinking of changing jobs and becoming a spin doctor! What do you think??)
Still Jason played well (Lang not me) as all his games were very tight. Owen Hadden actually gave me a run and a few points this time at No.4 – and at No.1 Giffnock’s Kevin Moran looked like he was playing some great squash against our own Craig (Vallente Wallace) with a master class in control.
However I always look on the bright side of squash and on the up side we got 2 more points than we did, against Newlands 1, last week and not only that but dinner was actually bordering on nice – as Jase and I went up for seconds!
Next week sees the last match of the season (boo!) and we travel to Newlands to play their 2nd team. We’re currently in 6th position and with a good performance we could hold onto that – which is a massive 5 place improvement for the team on last season.
Onward and upwards!
Jason
PS – Did anyone see the Western v Whitecraigs Rugby Club result? Strange one?!?!
DLWE (Kelvin Financial Planning) v SSRC – Away (Match Report) 24th February 2016
It was off to SSRC tonight and no surprise they had targeted us with their big superstars. Dougie Kempsell – PSA World ranked No.101 and Jamie Henderson (Scotland’s No.5) were both at No.1 & No.2 – so we had to win at 3,4 & 5 if we were going to cause an upset on the first half’s results.
I went on first v Brian Robertson at No.3 – so this one for the match then! No pressure!! It was all going well after two games, as I was 2-0 up, but Brian fought back well to clinch the 3rd. It was nip and tuck in the 4th as well….and I had an early lead. But disaster struck as I pulled a groin muscle! I limped on for the next couple of points thinking I could just get some ridiculous nics, but it was soon obvious that I couldn’t even push off my right leg (let alone hit nics that I’ve never hit before!) so unfortunately I had to concede and that was our chance scuppered for the match! So it was straight to the ice machine for me and I think this injury may keep me out for a week or two (especially as we’re playing Newlands and
Giffnock next!)
Next on was Jason (Lang) v Jamie Henderson at No.2. It was great to see Jason flinging himself about the court and he certainly won a lot of the mini battles. However Jamie was just too strong (as you would expect) and it was 3-0 to SSRC.
Doug (Macmillan) played Chris Holt a No.4 next and this was the match of the night. Could Douglas beat the wylie old coyote?
Well the short answer is ‘yes’ – but it went all the way to 5 games and Chris was 2-1 up! However Doug was determined not to let the match slip. He moved Chris around in the first 3 games and by the 4th he had Chris puffing! Doug got good leads in the 4th & 5th games and with a strong final push, crossed the finishing line to win 3-2. Man of the match to both men I would say.
Finley (McGhee) went on after this against Andy McCulley. Finlay stormed the 1st and looked in total control, but Andy won the 2nd in double quick time and so it was anyone’s match at that point. However Finley not only won the 3rd easily, but also got a good lead in the 4th, which he needed as he just scraped home 14-16 to take the match 3-1 (still unbeaten this season!).
Last on was Craig (Valente-Wallace) v Dougie Kempsell. To say Craig was up against it this week was putting it mildly! I missed this one as I had to go for a shower. And although the score was never in doubt Craig must have kept Dougie running, as after a really long shower they were still at it. Nevertheless Dougie won 3-0
Still 8 more points to the cause and we’re still n 5th position! But with Newlands & Giffnock next I reckon we will end up around 7th (which when you remember that we were 10th & 11th previously means a really strong performance this season – surely we’re the DLWE team of the season!).
Pizza for dinner and when they were put on the table it was said that the veggi one was for me, which kept everyone else at bay until they realised that I had scoffed three-quarters of it and theirs were gone!! Always watch out for the supersized Veggie!
BTW – anyone see this?
DLWE (Kelvin Financial Planning) v Strathgryffe – Home (Match Report) 17th February 2016
Strathgryffe this week and they looked like they were missing a player or two, so with

My team mates have never heard of these!
home advantage could we capitalise on this? I was feeling old this week and it wasn’t just because I am! The average age used to be brought down by me playing in the team, now (especially with Finlay forcing his way into the squad) I put the average up from about 20 to about 30!
First on at No.5 was the aforementioned Finley (McGee) against John Mechin (who was considerably younger than Finlay). When Finlay won the 1st game I said to him, if you play really well and keep up the pressure you have a great chance of winning – and you should take it because you will never beat this guy again, but you will always be able to say that you have beaten him! In the second game Finlay let the pressure off (for just a couple of points) and lost the game and the momentum. The 3rd was a similar story, but this time he managed to hold on by his fingernails to go 2-1 up. It was only in the 4th game that things were comfortable for Finley and he strolled home to win 3-1. Great effort from Finley and MOTM again for him I’d say.
Next on court was Doug (Macmillan) against Chris ‘The Pirate’ Patrick (although he looks more like Grizzly Adams these days!). By Chris’s own admission he had been demoted to the 1st team this week!! But he still plays a good fast paced game that is difficult to break down. Unfortunately, for him, he came up against a rejuvenated Doug, who was moving well and not letting Chris dominate. Doug went 2-0 up and then Chris had to retire due to a leg injury in the 3rd (maybe he’ll need one of those pirate’s wooden legs!?!?! Arrrrghhhhh! And a parrot!)
I went on next again Scott Adam at No.3 – who amazingly I had never played before. I got into a good 2-0 lead in the match, before Scott sneak the 3rd with some good retrieving and some tricky shots. It looked like this was going to be a real battle (and it was) but fortunately for me I managed to keep my nose in front in the 4th and that proved to be just enough to win the match (3-1)
For the 2nd week at No.1 Jason (Lang) took to the court against his friends and coach Martin Woods. It is always difficult to beat someone who has coached you in the past, as they know your strengths and weaknesses probably better than you do. But Jason was playing particularly well tonight and I though Martin maybe lacked a bit of belief. It was 3-0 to Jason and a great win for him.
Last on was Craig (Valente-Wallace) against James Dare at No.2 and this turned out to be the match of the night. James won the first 2 as Craig looked a bit off the pace. However he made a great comeback to take the 3rd and wrestle 5 match balls back in the 4th! The 5th was a little easier on the nerves and eventually Craig won 3-2. However fair play to James, he puts in a great performance and must have had Craig worried at match ball. Man of the match to James for Strathgryffe I would say.
So off to the restaurant for a nice pasta bake. Unfortunately the cardboard that was served-up was terrible (not even a tonne of mayonnaise could save it!) so we spent most of the meal apologising to the opposition for the quality of the food. Still most people forced it down anyway – but then we’re not as fussy as the 2nd & 3rd team!
DLWE (Kelvin Financial Planning) v Giffnock 2 – Away (Match Report) 10th February 2016

- No.1 Jase L with his new Misfit Vapor
A trip to the south side to play Giffnock 2 this week – the Giffnock young guns! You’ve got to hand it to the club, they really have produced some good young players over the past 5 or so years (and some good old ones as well!).
First on this week was at No.4 was Joe ‘old’ McDonald against Jonathan Brady. Jonathan only had one gear and that was overdrive! Everything was hit like a tracer bullet, which meant he found it quite hard to control many shots resulting in lots of mistakes. So Joe got off to a great lead, winning the first 2 games. Jonathan’s teammates must have told him to slow things down because he gradually got back into the match and eventually won in 5 by controlling his pace much better (2 good team points from Joe though and a hard fought performance).
Next on was the new addition to our team Finley McGhee against Mikey Rogerson at No.5. This was an ‘old school’ Giffnock performance with Mikey’s tennis volleying coming into full effect as he took the 1st game. Finley had to keep the ball straighter and lower. He did this in spade-fulls and so took the next 3 games reasonably comfortably to win the match 3-1. Another great performance (this 1st Division malarkey is easy eh Finley?).
I went on next at No.3 against Mark Coyle. I had seen Mark play recently and I fancied my chances of dominating the ‘T’ and taking the game to him. Well I did right up until the middle of the 1st game when I realised that this was never going to happen! Fair play to Mark he put in a very mature performance and didn’t let me in at all (apart from when he let me in to win the 2nd game!). I felt I could have played better, but when someone beats you convincingly that is normally how you feel, so I just have to give credit to Mark for the win (and Owen Haden who told him how to play me!).
We had a new No.1 this week as Jason Lang went on against Matthew Stout (Jason and Craig had a match in The U23 Nationals last weekend which Jason managed to win). This tie was a great match, with Matthew volleying beautifully to take the first two games and Jason digging in to take the next two. And so to the 5th! Well it was tight, but Matthew just managed to get the better of Jason this time by holding the ‘T’ and volleying Jason’s cross courts away. Still two more points to the cause and a decent performance from Jase.
Fresh back from the British Nationals in Manchester and last on was Craig Valente-Wallace against Chris Murphy at No.2. This was only 4 games, but every one was really tight and at 1-1 and with Chris up in the 3rd game it looked like there could be an upset on the cards! Craig did just enough to come back and clinch the 3rd game 12-10 and then he went on to dominate much more in the 4th to force home the victory. You have to hand it to Chris though it was a good performance from him.
So into the bar for five massive pizzas – the food of athletes! Whilst I was in the bar I was having a discussion with a woman and she said “You guys are all the same, you only hear what you want to hear” and I replied “Sure, I’ll have a beer”. Erdinger please!
A narrow 3-2 loss, but a great match and it’s how all matches should be played – hard fought and very even.
