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Optical Express D.L.W.E. v Giffnock 1 (home) 4th Oct. 2017
DLWE Musketeers Paulthos, Fintagnan & Swing-amis
Well Giffnock 1 are always a tough proposition and as I’d moved to No.2 at the moment I thought ‘at least I wouldn’t have to get tonked by Owen Hadden….. again!’ However he’s also up to No.2 so nae luck there either!
First home match of the season and when I arrived early I found Ken McBrearty knocking up (for Newlands 3), so I joined him for a tune up. The hit soon deteriorated into squash-teckers with each of us trying to play a more ridiculous shot! (It was a draw! Topspin-forehand-volley-nic versus lob-boast-roller!).
Owen soon arrived to break up these shenanigans and although I started well in our match the inevitable soon kicked in and Owen was well in control. The gulf was so big that we ended up playing a sub-conscious training game, by pumping everything to the back (but he won this as well!).
Next on was ‘Andrew (100% record) Glen’ at No.5 against Calum Stout. I was only half watching this and every time I glanced at a rally, I saw it Calum winning in the main, but all the rallies were hard and Andrew was definitely playing well. When I saw Andrew later I said “Unlucky” to which he replied, “What do you mean I won!” (maybe MOTM again this week for Andrew? Still with his 100%-win record!).
Paul Treon was on next v Matt Stout and Paul lost a very one sided 1st game, but played much better after that and although it was 3-0, the last 2 games were much tighter and he made his opponent work for it.
On next were the No.1s with Craig Valente-Wallace v Stu George. Craig wanted to borrow my Harrow Vapor racket, so what could I say! But I’m glad I did; what a game this was and an unbelievably gutsy performance from Craig. Stu took the 1st reasonably comfortably, but Craig countered with a much more attacking game and some unbelievable physicality; he was throwing himself around the court like a man possessed. The 2nd was tight, but Stu edged it – and the 3rd was another ding-dong, but Craig won that one (great team point!). The 4th was more convincing for Stu, as Craig was like the proverbial burst-baw! (having said that he still chased everything he could). I could easily give MOTM to Craig for that performance, fantastic to watch.
Last on was Finlay McGhee and after last week’s heroics, he was really up against it this week v Chris Murphy. Unfortunately there was just too much of a gulf between the two players, but it didn’t stop Fin playing really well, especially in the 2nd game. However Chris was in control of the match and won 3-0.
So a loss of 4-16, but realistically quite a good performance against one of the Division’s top teams.
Both chicken & veggie pasta for dinner and it was hot, great and there was plenty of it! Result!
Optical Express D.L.W.E. v Hamilton (away) 27th Sept. 2017
1st game back and where are the most unusual courts in the West to go and pay on? Whitecraigs RFC you say – well maybe, but I was thinking about the Hamilton saunas.
Still things were looking up as we had an early start with 2 games on before 6pm. And what’s more we were 2-0 up, so it would be a short night at Hamilton right? Well you’d think!
The 2 matches in question were our new No.5 Andrew Glen & our old No.1 Craig (4-team-shirts) Valente Wallace and both did the on-court business. Andrew had his first ever victory in Division 1, with a 3-0 over Norman Patterson (so MOTM surely to Andrew!) and Craig beat Calum 3-1 (surviving a game ball to Calum in the 4th).
All it would take was for me to win at No.2 and secure the points! Right? Wrong! Chris McGeady had other ideas and was up 2-0 and 9-3 before you could say “What’s the ****ing temperature on this court!” Then an unlikely comeback began as I won the 3rd 12-10 and then the 4th as well – but Chris recouped just at the right time to take a tough 5th game and the match.
Well Paul Treon would definitely bring the match home! 11-3 in the 1st – easy! But Steven Healey had other ideas as well! He won the 2nd 13-11 and then the next 2 as well! Disaster!! (MOTM to Stephen)
Finlay McGhee v Colin Towers were on last at 2-2 in ‘The Battle for Hobbiton’ (!)
Great start for Fin going 2-0 up with some punishing rallies, but Colin fought back in a lung busting 3rd to take it to 2-1 and in the 4th he was in charge as well. Was there a nail-biting 5th to look forward to then? Just then, Fin got back into the match with some much straighter play and an amazing run of points, from 1-7 down, to 12-10 up, which meant he won an unlikely game and the match victory was ours (and he secured the bonus points as well!).
Quote of the Night from Norman:
Fin “As the home team, do you find the courts hot, Norman?
Norman “Well they’re good for growing tomatoes in!”
Calum remembered I was a veggi so a very nice meal for me and curry for the lads (and rice only for Colin T – only the 2nd time I’ve seen him eat after a match, in about 25 years!).
Discussions on the intricacies of the “Hamilton Ladder Challenge” system ensued! Turns out you can be 1 one week and 5 the next! But you must accept the challenge!
It’s good to be back on a Wednesday night – especially with a 15-8 team win.
(checkout ‘Broadberry Sports’ on Facebook to see some video clips of the match)
2017 West Knockout Cup Match Report D.L.W.E. v S.S.R.C. 30th Aug
Tough match against S.S.R.C. in the 1st round of the West Knockout Cup last night as the 2017/18 season is now definitely under way!
The format is a 4-man team and the total team can’t have any more than 5000 points. This is according to your individual points score on Sporty HQ (interesting/confusing – yup me too; we had to re-jig as we were over 5000 points on our 1st line up!)
Revised line up 4857 points
First on was Big John McIntyre (Sport HQ 1059 points) against a former DLWEer Big Rob Macmillan. A BIG game and a great start for Big Rob, moving like a gazelle and going 1-0 up, but Johnny McD said to me “Don’t worry John’ll win 3-1- he always does!” And sure enough John really got going, to come back and win the match 3-1 as predicted (hey Johnny, what score will it be when Liverpool play Man City?)
Next up was Alistair Mackenzie (Sport HQ 851 points) against Mark (Uncle Festa) Sherrit. Al turned up coughing and spluttering (get you’re excuses in early that’s what I say) and it looked like he’d be run ragged as he lost the 1st! But ‘the only way is up’ (as Yazz & Iain Bev might conclude!) and he ended up coughing his way through the rest of the match to end up winning 3-1. Alistair also ended up playing some good length when he decided to keep it out of the tin!
So only one more match to win – easy! And I (Jason Broadberry – Sport HQ 1627 points) would bring the team home at No.1!?!?!?!? Well maybe not as I got a right 3-0 tonking from Brian – I think Brian identified that I’m only 1 vowel away from being ‘fit’!
Last up was Finlay McGhee (Sport HQ 1320 points) against Dave McCormack. Dave is a canny left hander and is obviously playing well. Fin was initially off the pace as he went 0-2 down however, a resurgence was on the cards as he took the 3rd easily. “So” I said “win this and we go through …… no pressure!”. Unfortunately for us, Dave had a bit left in the tank and won the 4th in style.
So a 2-2 draw and SSRC go through on game-countback (thanks to me being rubbish/unfit etc – you’re dropped Jase!)
Still the interesting thing about this Knockout Cup is that you don’t get knocked out!!
West Committee marketing department may have to have a look at this!
Next week we’re up against Newlands 2 in the plate.
Optical Express DLWE v Giffnock 1 (away) on Wednesday 10th March 2017
Just a quick report this week as we had the pleasure of playing Giffnock first team on Wednesday and so probably suffered the same fate as most teams this season, which was a chopping!
First on was Doglas against Stuart Pitt. A good hard match but Stuart was just too good when it mattered. 3-0 to Stuart (after Douglasses remarks about my terrible serve two weeks ago it was particularly funny to see him serve into the floor this week! Mind you at least he didn’t split his shorts again!). He did have a game ball mind you!
Next on was Finlay against Niall Morris. This was a lung busting match with both the first and second games going on for ever. After numerous game balls Finley manage to secure the second game and secure of the team point as well! Man of the match to Findlay for that!
The third and fourth games were not as tough as Finley was tiring so 3-1 to Niall (best shot was a corkscrew that Niall managed to hit out ! I didn’t think he had that shot in his armoury. Obviously he doesn’t 😄
I was on next against Owen and not much to say about this except chopped 3-0. Shot of the match was my chip onto the massive peice of missing plaster, which turned my lob into a drop!
Craig was ill, but turned out anyway, but too tough to run around the stick man that it James Singh. James seemed to have misplaced his fishing racket tonight and was as quick as quick thing from quicksville!
Last on was Jason Lang v Stu George at No.1. Stu was always going to dominate this one and the scoreline would suggest that he did. However there were plenty of times that Stu had to show how good he was at retrieving, with Jase dominating many rallies. Having said that Stu got Jason with a couple of great taxis!
So 3-0 to Stu and 18-1 to the Champions. Although it was 18-1 to me in terms of slices of pizza eaten in the bar! And as Barca stuck in their 6th goal the place erupted- didn’t know this was the Glasgow Branch of the Barcelona Supporters Club!
Optical Express DLWE v Giffnock 2 – Away Match Report 8th February 2017
Fin v Gazza at no.4
First team did well tonight with a tricky away fixture against Giffnock 2.
Doug was there inexplicably early and was on again Jonathan Brady at No.3 – a good match with both guys pure meltin’ the baw! Seemed to suit both of their games and it was a good run, but Giffnock won this 3-0. Never saw Doug again – must have been a big night out arranged.
Next on was Paul Treon v Graham “The Mugger” McAinsh at No 4. Paul had just finished his dinner, so was a bit tentative in the 1st game. It was as close as it could be at 14-12, but Paul was on the winning side. Then things got considerably easier as Paul worked out Mugger’s game and at the same time digested his tea! So a 3-0 to us.
I (Jason Broadberry) went on next against Mark Coyle at No.2. I’d lost to Mark previously, but now he has got a proper job and is working hard he’s not able to play as much squash, so things have evened out. I was like a ‘Bolt’ out of the blocks (yes! Me!!) and took the 1st comfortably, but Mark got going in the 2nd a evened things up. The 3rd was ‘the cruncher’ and I was game ball down….. twice, but managed to hold onto my bottle just at the crucial time and won 14-12. The 4th was much easier and I brought home the match 3-1 (M.O.T.M. again for me? Maybe!)
Finlay McGhee was on next v Gary Blanchflower at No.4. This was a great match up of youth v experience or shots v movement or even little v large! Fin won the 1st quite easily, but after that we had 3 tie-breaks. The match was very entertaining and ‘Angry Fin’ managed to motivate himself and frustrate himself in equal measure! Garry was getting very tired toward the end, but still managed to dominate many of the rallies, but Fin was right up for this and after losing 3 match balls in the 3rd, he also saved 2 match balls in the 4th and brought home the tie 3-1 (M.O.T.M. for Fin? Maybe!)
Last on was Jason Lang v Daniel (the baby faced assassin) O’Sullivan. I missed the first 2 games but Jase was well in charge and although Daniel was really quick and very dynamic, Jase was a cut above him and won the match 3-0
So 15 more points to the total and we all wolfed down 5 massive pizzas for dinner – seems to be the food of choice for the squash athlete!
(check out ‘Broadberry Sports Ltd’ on Facebook to see some clips of the matches or just click here)
Optical Express DLWE v Western – Home Match Report 1st February 2016
A bit of a thrashing from Western Last night, 3-18
I was on first, playing way above my pay grade at No.2! Got thrashed by some young veggie, ‘I.T. Crowd’ lookalike, whippet called Liam (I tried turning my game ‘off’ and ‘on’ again, but it didn’t work!)
Next was Doug at No.3 v Rich King. Doug’s hard training recently (i.e. suspect trips to Germany to sample the local iniquity) paid off, but not on court! Verprugeln 3-0 (Doug did spend the rest of the evening cuddling everyone though, so team spirit was high!)
Paul T on next at No.5 against Mhairi. Lost 3-1 to a girl! 😉
Ickle Fin played Steve Halliday at No.4! What the **** was Steven doing at No.4??? We soon found out as Fin took him to 5! Well played Fin M.O.T.M.
Craig VW on last against ‘mop-top’ Halliday. Top-knot performance from ‘Hirsute Halliday’! And staying on the hair-theme Craig was chopped 3-0. It was a ‘cut & dry’ result, maybe he was saving ‘something for the weekend’ 😉
Pizzas were great – although before the match I told myself not to eat too many slices. However that went out of the window when they arrived!
PS – I was C.O.T.M. for getting the fewest points
PPS – Paul lost to a girl! 😉
Optical Express DLWE v Hamilton – Away Match Report 25th January 2016
With 2 players missing (Doug was away & I was down south on business) it was looking like a tough away fixture to Hamilton and that was before another pull out at 11am on the day.
So I texted Colin (Clark) and said we’d need to borrow Joe McD from the 2nd team to which he replied “unacceptable, get your ass back up here!”
It was at that time that I thought “I wonder if I could make it home to play at No.2 and give the team a chance………………… and the 2nd team (and the 3rds!)”. Not that I thought I’d have a chance of winning after a 400 mile drive, but at least the others wouldn’t have to play a position higher – it may make the difference?
So 7.5 hours of non-stop driving later (bloody M6 is exasperating!) I arrived just after 8pm! I’d asked every man and his dog to help me get kit there (shoes especially) but to no avail so it took a falling out with the wife to get my full kit bag over to Hamilton (so thanks to Dawn, who made the difference and is surely the non-playing M.O.T.M. – or should that be W.O.T.M.?).
Craig had played 1st and although was 0-2 down against Kenny Boyle at No.1, he ended up coming back to win the 5th and securing a crucial 3 points. When I arrived Paul (Treon) was also involved in a 5 setter, but unfortunately he went down to a much improved Scott Hay.
I got thumped 3-0 (in a ‘take one for the team’ performance) against Calum Phillips and Colin (Clark) had a great 3-0 win against Peter Shivas at No.5.
So it was all on Finlay (McGhee) against a much improved Chris McGeady. However, it’s also a much improved Finlay as well and with 2 tie breaks he brought the match home 15-13 in the 3rd!
M.O.T.M.? Craig for a wonderful come-back? Fin or Col for great matches. Nope! With a
M.O.T.M. & W.O.T.M. !!
night or two to think about it I’ve come to the conclusion that I was M.O.T.M. for getting thumped 3-0!! And I would also like to be considered for M.O.T.M. of the 2nd team as well! (I’ve now got a thigh strain and a cold! But I’m sure it will be worth it in retrospect!)
Great curry from the Hamilton lads and Calum even remembered I was a veggie so I got a great meal as well!
And a 3-2 win (14 points to 8)
Optical Express DLWE v Whitecraigs Rugby Club – Home Match Report 9th November 2016
Well we were missing our talisman at No.1 tonight and so playing a good Whitecraigs Rugby Club side was going to be (another!) tough one!
First on was Doug (Macmillan) v Dougie Emery at No.3 (battle of the Dugs!) – Whitecraigs Dougie took immediate control of this match, with good length and a high tempo which meant he was soon 2-0 up. However DLWE Doug fought back hard in the 3rd and although he was behind for most of the game he was solid at 11-11 and won the game 13-11! Unfortunately Doug was solid as a blancmange after that and Whitecraigs Dougie took the 4th to secure the match 3-1.
I (Jason Broadberry – in case you’re wondering!) went on next against Ewan Hearns expecting a tanking and at 9-7 down in the 1st I wasn’t surprised. However I managed to scrape that one and noticed that Ewan was going for a lot and not running that well. The 2nd was even closer at 12-10 but I piped him again and now I was more confident of upsetting the bookies. And so it proved, as I won the 3rd more easily (and not a moment too soon as my calf tightened up more and more). A really surprising result for me and I think I was lucky to catch Ewan on a bad day, but then he’s a student so has probably been partying non-stop for Firework nigh or “Bevvy-vember” or maybe just Tuesday night!
Next on saw Paul (Treon) making his comeback match at No.5 against Harry Anderson. Harry was his usual flamboyant self, with his racket flashing cross-court nics, top-spin drops, & mizukies galore and he won the 1st game 13-11. However Paul started to turn the screw at this point and was happy to absorb the pressure before making his move. Then when he kept the ball away from Harry’s flashing volleys he was well in control (well as much as you can be against Flashman!). A good 3-1 win for Paul
The penultimate game at No.4 was Finlay (McGhee) against Allan McKay and what a dynamite match this was. When Fin was 2-0 up it looked like this was a going to be a easy win, but out of nowhere Allan woke up and started moving, volleying, and probably more importantly reading Fin’s game much, much better. After that, the tables really turned and despite a close 4th, Allan played great squash to come back and win the tie 3-2 (and send the match into a decider!)
So the No.1s took to the court as Jason (Lang) took on Andy MacBean. This was a tough encounter that went to 5 game and I missed some of this as I hit the showers. However a lot of pushing, shoving, back stretching and arguing with the ref later, Jason won a very narrow 5th to take the tie 3-2
And so we won the match 3-2 (194 points to 182 according to Sporty HQ!), so we hit the bar for pizza and chips! Ya dancer!!
Optical Express DLWE v Giffnock 2 – Home Match Report) 2nd November 2016
Who said Doug is headless!
Quick report this week as I’ve been dragging my heals writing this one. We played Giffnock 2 the ‘Young Guns’ this week and it was all going so well…..
First on was Craig (Valente-Wallace) against Stuart Pitt (the younger!) at No.1. The lads got this one on very early and I only arrived as the final game was being played, so I can’t really comment on the match, but Stuart won the tie 3-1. He was buzzing around the court retrieving everything in sight when I was watching, so I imagine this was the theme of the night and he must have frustrated Craig with his movement.
Next on at No.4 was Doug (Macmillan) against Mark Coyle. This was an even match up with Doug winning the 1st and Mark the 2nd , but Doug managed to take the opportunities with some good physical work in the next 2 and brought home the match 3-1. Another good performance from Doug this week and I’m looking forward to him challenging me so I can play lower down the teams!
I was on next against Chris Murphy and this was another tough one against another youngster. Chris played a very mature game and was able to get all my shots back. The advice was to hit a better length, but the problem was actually doing this as Chris kept me at arm’s length. I won the 2nd, but didn’t really feel like I deserved it. All the games were close and I reckon, that had I not been given a dubious ‘stroke’ against me on match ball, I’m sure it would have gone to a 5th (….well maybe not! OK probably not! Fine – it wasn’t that dubious!?!). A good 3-1 win for Chris.
Next on was Finlay (McGhee) against Daniel O’Sullivan at No.5 – Fin only dropped 3 points in the entire first 4 games! However he still he found himself in a 5th game decider! Both players were blowing hard at this point, but Daniel must have tired more, as the last was an 11-6 win to Fin, but a great match from both and they would have slept well that night! MOTM to Fin for me and I’m looking forward to Fin challenging me so I can play lower down the teams!
So with the match finely poised at 2-2, last on were the No.2s – Jason (Lang) v Matthew Stout. Jason was the pure squash player and Matthew was the squash/tennis player so this was going to be interesting. There was nothing in the first 2 games 11-13 and 11-9 and the difference in styles was very noticeable. Matthew thrived on any cross-courts and Jase needed to play a little straighter, but unfortunately Jason lost the 3rd 8-11 and now the momentum was with Matthew. He converted the 4th as well to win 3-1 and give Giffers the match 3-2. Great game though and Matthew admitted that he couldn’t have played any better (MOTM to Matt).
Pizza for dinner – including 1 veggie one which I dared anyone else to touch! Yum!
Great match though and 9 more points to the total!
Optical Express DLWE v Western– Away Match Report) 26th October 2016
A great match up last night as we went to Western to play their 1st team. The match swung one way then the other!
First on was Doug (Macmillan) against a the rejuvenated Richard King at No.5. Richard has been out of the game for 5 years or so with an injuries, but is now back and moving the ball very well indeed. Doug played the best I’ve seen him this season and was moving well himself, giving Richard plenty to think about. The match went to the 5th. When Doug hit a good length he was well in the match (unsurprisingly – if you know anything about squash at all this shouldn’t be a massive surprise! Although it often is for everyone!! 😉 ), but if he was short Richard was slotting the ball away nicely. It was a tough 5th but eventually Richard just won on experience to take the first rubber.
Next on was Finlay (McGhee) against Mhairi Charlton at No.4. Now Fin had lost to Marry previously so this was going to be a tough one, but he was up in the 1st game. However Mharry forced the pace, dominated the middle and kept Finlay well behind her to win the game. The 2nd was much of the same and once again Marhiri was just too consistent in hitting the back corners. So Fin would just have to win in 5 games. Great plan, but Mhairi wasn’t in on it and she finished things off 3-0.
So we were 2-0 down in the match and next on was Jason (Lang) v Liam Dickson at No.2. This was a great match, very athletic and frenetic, with some barn-storming rallies. Jason lost the 1st game on a ‘no let’ – which was fair enough, but tough to take! Then he came right back, as did Liam….. as did Jase again! And so to the 5th! Another great game decider with both players moving like two sparrows having a fight – but Jase squeezed a few too many mistakes out of Liam and managed to secured the 3-2 win.
The No.1s went on next and Craig (Valente-Wallace) played Peter Halliday. This was an interesting one to watch (although not to mark!) and I was very impressed with Craig’s movement. We’ll gloss over the 1st and call it Peter’s warm up game – but after that things got much tighter. However Craig was just too quick for Peter tonight – he anticipated well and looked strong on the ball. The next 2 games were tight and both players looked a bit grumpy, but Craig won both to take the tie and also to take the match into a scintillating decider!
Well it would have been scintillating if I was about 3 times as good as I actually am! I played Steven Halliday at No.3 and right from the word go it was obvious what the score was going to be. I did particularly well in the 2nd game and when I got to 9 first I thought this could be my chance, but unfortunately I was always second best and the only advise I could think of was “The way to beat Steven is to be better!”
Did you see that result coming? I saw this one being very close as ‘Optical Express’ DLWE were pipped 2-3 in the match – boooooo!
So to the bar and Western’s (Vegan) capt. – Liam – forgot to get himself, and me, a meal. So there was nothing else for it – a blond & nuts for me (that’s a bottle of Arran Blond & a pack of ‘Nobbies Nuts’ – in case you were wondering!) and a pizza on the way home!
Jason Broadberry
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broadberrysports
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