Home > Uncategorized > DLWE v Newlands 3 – Home (Match Report) 27th February 2014

DLWE v Newlands 3 – Home (Match Report) 27th February 2014

PaulHannahLogoSorry about last week’s lack of a report, but I left on a business trip after the match and only got home late Tuesday Night (I’ll try and do a retrospective one later on this week) but now back to last night’s match.

We welcomed Newlands 3 to DLWE and first on was Richard (Cantlay) at No.4 against Brendan Forrester. I had a tough match v Brendan in the 1st half so I was wondering a) why he was playing at No.4 and b) how quickly he would chop Rich! Well after losing the 1st game Rich asked me for words of wisdom to help him win. “Get a time machine and practice a lot more 10 years ago!” was the crux of what I said, although I did sugar coat it a bit.


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Next up was Dave (Craig) against Andrew Morris. This was a good old ding-dong, but Dave needed to slow things down consistently if he wanted to make some real headway. Unfortunately that just isn’t his game, so although all the games were well fought and a good pace Dave lost all 3.

Sara was desperate to get on and so when Alan Susskind arrived she said “I’ve never been so pleased to see someone I’ve never met!”.

Well that was true right up until Alan made the cardinal ‘man’ mistake of essentially guessing her age by asking why she didn’t play Masters Tournament Squash?


“Because I’m not old enough!” was the withering reply.

Come on Alan the two things you should never say to a woman is first “So when’s the baby due?” and secondly any reference to age at all! Only if cornered you should do what I do and take 10 years off whatever you think……… and then another 10 years just to be on the safe side!

So Sara was on against Alan next and she won the 1st game 12-10 (hell hath no fury like a woman scorned eh Alan!!). Any way this was a great team point for Sara and so maybe I can find a way of winding her up before every match. After this She must have calmed down and Alan must have got more into his stride as he won the next 3.

I went on next against Dave Morrison at No.2. During the knock-up Dave’s backhand looked weak and I fancied my chances. When he knocked up on the forehand however he looked like a world beater – he absolutely leathers the ball! Well don’t put it on his forehand then I thought! And that was basically the plan. I overdid it in the 1st game and only just managed to sneak home, but after that things got easier and I dominated the 2nd and 3rd games (in fact I was 10-1 up in both!).

On at the same time as me was Dougie (Macmillan) against Christian Donelan. Doug got beaten 3-1 by Christian in the 1st half so this was always going to be a tough one for him. In-between games I was delighted (and surprised) to see Doug dominating proceedings. When I came off after my match Doug was match ball up himself and was really making Christian work hard. Moments later he came off a 3-0 victor and this has to be Doug’s best win of the season I reckon.

Veggie pasta again for dinner and we were left wondering how many points we’d need for survival.

Andrew was lamenting the Man U manager situation and I tried to console him by offering him the words of comfort. I said that I liked David Moyes and I thought he was a good manager and easily good enough to keep them up!

JP Spark

JP Spark


JP Turbo
JP Turbo

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