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DLWE (Kelvin Financial Planning) v Strathgryffe – Home (Match Report) 17th February 2016
Strathgryffe this week and they looked like they were missing a player or two, so with
My team mates have never heard of these!
home advantage could we capitalise on this? I was feeling old this week and it wasn’t just because I am! The average age used to be brought down by me playing in the team, now (especially with Finlay forcing his way into the squad) I put the average up from about 20 to about 30!
First on at No.5 was the aforementioned Finley (McGee) against John Mechin (who was considerably younger than Finlay). When Finlay won the 1st game I said to him, if you play really well and keep up the pressure you have a great chance of winning – and you should take it because you will never beat this guy again, but you will always be able to say that you have beaten him! In the second game Finlay let the pressure off (for just a couple of points) and lost the game and the momentum. The 3rd was a similar story, but this time he managed to hold on by his fingernails to go 2-1 up. It was only in the 4th game that things were comfortable for Finley and he strolled home to win 3-1. Great effort from Finley and MOTM again for him I’d say.
Next on court was Doug (Macmillan) against Chris ‘The Pirate’ Patrick (although he looks more like Grizzly Adams these days!). By Chris’s own admission he had been demoted to the 1st team this week!! But he still plays a good fast paced game that is difficult to break down. Unfortunately, for him, he came up against a rejuvenated Doug, who was moving well and not letting Chris dominate. Doug went 2-0 up and then Chris had to retire due to a leg injury in the 3rd (maybe he’ll need one of those pirate’s wooden legs!?!?! Arrrrghhhhh! And a parrot!)
I went on next again Scott Adam at No.3 – who amazingly I had never played before. I got into a good 2-0 lead in the match, before Scott sneak the 3rd with some good retrieving and some tricky shots. It looked like this was going to be a real battle (and it was) but fortunately for me I managed to keep my nose in front in the 4th and that proved to be just enough to win the match (3-1)
For the 2nd week at No.1 Jason (Lang) took to the court against his friends and coach Martin Woods. It is always difficult to beat someone who has coached you in the past, as they know your strengths and weaknesses probably better than you do. But Jason was playing particularly well tonight and I though Martin maybe lacked a bit of belief. It was 3-0 to Jason and a great win for him.
Last on was Craig (Valente-Wallace) against James Dare at No.2 and this turned out to be the match of the night. James won the first 2 as Craig looked a bit off the pace. However he made a great comeback to take the 3rd and wrestle 5 match balls back in the 4th! The 5th was a little easier on the nerves and eventually Craig won 3-2. However fair play to James, he puts in a great performance and must have had Craig worried at match ball. Man of the match to James for Strathgryffe I would say.
So off to the restaurant for a nice pasta bake. Unfortunately the cardboard that was served-up was terrible (not even a tonne of mayonnaise could save it!) so we spent most of the meal apologising to the opposition for the quality of the food. Still most people forced it down anyway – but then we’re not as fussy as the 2nd & 3rd team!
DLWE (Kelvin Financial Planning) v Giffnock 2 – Away (Match Report) 10th February 2016
- No.1 Jase L with his new Misfit Vapor
A trip to the south side to play Giffnock 2 this week – the Giffnock young guns! You’ve got to hand it to the club, they really have produced some good young players over the past 5 or so years (and some good old ones as well!).
First on this week was at No.4 was Joe ‘old’ McDonald against Jonathan Brady. Jonathan only had one gear and that was overdrive! Everything was hit like a tracer bullet, which meant he found it quite hard to control many shots resulting in lots of mistakes. So Joe got off to a great lead, winning the first 2 games. Jonathan’s teammates must have told him to slow things down because he gradually got back into the match and eventually won in 5 by controlling his pace much better (2 good team points from Joe though and a hard fought performance).
Next on was the new addition to our team Finley McGhee against Mikey Rogerson at No.5. This was an ‘old school’ Giffnock performance with Mikey’s tennis volleying coming into full effect as he took the 1st game. Finley had to keep the ball straighter and lower. He did this in spade-fulls and so took the next 3 games reasonably comfortably to win the match 3-1. Another great performance (this 1st Division malarkey is easy eh Finley?).
I went on next at No.3 against Mark Coyle. I had seen Mark play recently and I fancied my chances of dominating the ‘T’ and taking the game to him. Well I did right up until the middle of the 1st game when I realised that this was never going to happen! Fair play to Mark he put in a very mature performance and didn’t let me in at all (apart from when he let me in to win the 2nd game!). I felt I could have played better, but when someone beats you convincingly that is normally how you feel, so I just have to give credit to Mark for the win (and Owen Haden who told him how to play me!).
We had a new No.1 this week as Jason Lang went on against Matthew Stout (Jason and Craig had a match in The U23 Nationals last weekend which Jason managed to win). This tie was a great match, with Matthew volleying beautifully to take the first two games and Jason digging in to take the next two. And so to the 5th! Well it was tight, but Matthew just managed to get the better of Jason this time by holding the ‘T’ and volleying Jason’s cross courts away. Still two more points to the cause and a decent performance from Jase.
Fresh back from the British Nationals in Manchester and last on was Craig Valente-Wallace against Chris Murphy at No.2. This was only 4 games, but every one was really tight and at 1-1 and with Chris up in the 3rd game it looked like there could be an upset on the cards! Craig did just enough to come back and clinch the 3rd game 12-10 and then he went on to dominate much more in the 4th to force home the victory. You have to hand it to Chris though it was a good performance from him.
So into the bar for five massive pizzas – the food of athletes! Whilst I was in the bar I was having a discussion with a woman and she said “You guys are all the same, you only hear what you want to hear” and I replied “Sure, I’ll have a beer”. Erdinger please!
A narrow 3-2 loss, but a great match and it’s how all matches should be played – hard fought and very even.
DLWE (Kelvin Financial Planning) v Townend – Away (Match Report) 20th January 2016
His nieve a nit!
Away to deepest darkest Ayrshire this week to what proved to be a tough one and on the week o ‘Burns Night’ as well!
Townend away and the team was hoping to pick up some points this week, especially as we won the first half battle at home, albeit with a close 3-2.
First on was the ‘Great Chieftain o the Puddin-race’ Doug at No.4 and this was a bit of a low point in Doug’s season with none of the attributes he’s known for on show tonight. Kenny Hardy his opponent played well and deserved 3 points tonight. Doug left soon after (thro his pores the dews distil, like amber bead!).
I went on next (but mark the Rustic, veggie haggis-fed!) against Scotty ‘Shabana’ Bradford. All good fun and games, but I frustrated Scott tonight with some good boasting and volleying to win 3-0 reasonably comfortably.
Joe (McDonald) went on next at No.5 and played James Ramage. This was a great match up and went all the way to 5 games. At the end of the day it was all about who could hit the best length (as it often is) and James got to grips with it just that little bit better than Joe, all the games were tight but having been 2-0 up, it was disappointing to lose this one. Still Joe put in a big effort and gave it 100% (game for game, they stretch an strive: Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive).
Jason Lang stepped up this week in every sense (Clap in his walie nieve a squash racket, he’ll make it whissle). He is still coming back from that fulie/chesty thing that everyone seemed to have over the Christmas and at 2-2 it looked like that was going to be the difference. It was a great game up to this point with Ross McHoul just managing to qualify for the 2nd half (by sneaking in the last 2 matches of the 1st half). Ross was flashing the shots all over the court and a 100% fit Jason would probably have been able to keep chasing, but not tonight as Ross took the match 3-2. Still you can’t fault the commitment from Jason and he really did everything he could on the night.
A real tough one tonight for Craig at No.1 (Fair fa’ your honest, sonsie face) against his friend Rory Stewart. This was close in the first half, but tonight Rory was playing a different brand of squash. He volleyed well and was right on top of his game. Craig gave it everything (the court see rustic Labour dight) but tonight he was just up against a man in form.
Still good effort from the Townend lads on the catering front!
Not really it was (veggie) pizza!
PS – Don’t forget to come along to the Edinburgh Open this week (Thurs-Sun) at ESC for the best standard of squash on show in Scotland (the Draw’s can be seen by clicking here) – including Craig/Rory/Ross and Darly Selby!
DLWE (Kelvin Financial Planning) v Whitecraigs RFC – Away (Match Report) 11th January 2016
Spot the squash player – Dog or Doug!
You know when you come back after Christmas and you think that the first match will be okay as everyone else is in the same boat as you having eaten and drunk too much all through the festive period? Well this was nothing like that!
This was a real tough one for us in the first half (when we only sneaked a 3-2 win). This time we were missing our No.2 and so everybody had to play up one position which ultimately meant carnage……..for our team!
Still at least we got an early start and we also had 2 courts. On at number five was David Craig and he played Aberdeen University’s Alex Ross (will be interesting to see if West Squash enforce the “You have to play 3 matches in the 1st half” rule!!). The 1st game was a real hum-dinger and it finished 21-19. Both players had their chances, but Alex eventually came through to clinch it. In the second game Alex really got into his stride and Dave didn’t volley well enough, so the game began to slip away from him. The 3rd was also close and we almost secured a crucial team point, but it wasn’t to be (or not to be!).
I noticed that the ball was a bit strange and found out that it wasn’t the normal Dunlop one, so I soon asked for a change of ball. I went on the other court and played at No.2 against Ewan Hearns and was out of the starting blocks like ‘s*** off a shovel’ and secured the golden team point. However after that Ewan woke up and won the next 3 easily! (although I had a sniff in the 3rd?!?!).
Next up was Joe McDonald against Harry Anderson. Harry has got all the shots these days so I advised Joe just to do as much as he could to keep in the match. I didn’t see much of the match as I was on court, but he must have done this quite well as he appeared to be in every game. I joined it late on in the 3rd with Harry 2-0 up – however Joe was 10-6 up -game ball. Unfortunately he couldn’t capitalise on the lead (especially painful was one ‘tinned’ drop, were the whole crowd groaned in sympathy) as Harry dug in. In the end Harry won on a tiebreaker and so three more points to the Rugby Club.
Next on was ‘The clash of the Dougies’ with Dougie Macmillan against Dougie Emery (as I realized when I said “Come on Dougie” halfway through the 1st game). This was 3 easy points to Dougie – t’other Doug had been up all night studying for an exam and I’m not sure he had played much over the festive period, so no real surprise. Three more points to Whitecraigs.
Last on was Craig Valente Wallace v Andy MacBean. These guys had an exciting 3-1 last time so this could have potentially been a real tight one. But it wasn’t to be tonight as Craig never really got going and (I believe) personal circumstances meant we didn’t see the best of him tonight. So The final three points to the Rugby Club.
So off to the bar for veggie chilli for Ewan and I and ordinary chilli for everyone else to celebrate the 1 point gained tonight (down 13 on last time!).
We need a big push in the next few weeks to capitalise on the great start we made last year.
DLWE (Kelvin Financial Planning) v Strathgryffe – Away (Match Report) 18th November 2015
At 3pm today I was in sunny Spain having a relaxing time on the beach, but just a
few hours later I battled my way through Storm Barney (when did we start naming storms?) to reach Strathgryffe a little late, at around 7.15pm – but it turns out I was very early!
First up tonight and starting early (as he had to leave early) was Joe against Dave at number five. When I arrived the pair were having some humongous rallies and I thought this must be really close. However I soon learned that they were just playing a friendly as Joe had already won! Well he obviously wasn’t that keen to get away! Still 3 points on the board for us!
The number 4s went on next as Doug took on Graham Proud. I had never seen Graham play before and was impressed with his range of shots. This wasn’t one of Doug’s finest games however and he was well beaten.
My opponent still hadn’t turned up so next on at No.1 were Craig against Martin Woods. This was an interesting game as it appears that Craig is now in a position to really challenge Martin. I had the pleasure of marking this one and I said to both players before they went on “Call your own pickups and don’t moan at my decisions” Craig replied that he could only do one of these requests so I would have to pick!
This game was all about whether Craig could put enough physical pressure on Martin to tire him out. After the 1st I was sure he could, but when Martin came back and won the 2nd things were not quite as certain. However Craig knuckled down and really made Martin work harder and harder as the match progressed. It was soon obvious that Martin didn’t have the legs to run all of Craig’s rallies down. So a good 3-1 win for Craig – although neither man seem to want to take the last point and in the end it took an amazing fluke from Craig to secure the match (I would be inclined to give Craig MOTM again this week).
Still no sign of my opponent so on at No.2 was Jason Lang returning to his old club against Ross (Red) Lawrie. Jason has been playing very well recently and so I thought he would be too strong for Ross. But squash constantly surprises you and Ross was playing brilliantly and his range of shots was amazing. Every time Jason went cross-court, Ross was on it in a flash and often volleying away a winner or playing some ridiculously good shot!
So could Jase keep the ball to a good length and straight? Well at 2-2 in games it appeared that he couldn’t do it often enough; so now it was anyone’s game! Ross was putting away all services on the volley time after time and Jason was struggling to straighten the shots, so consequently Ross was dominating the ‘T’ and putting Jason’s cross-court returns away. It was all very close in the end (about 10-10) and it was a shame that the match finished on a stroke, but there you have it and Ross fully deserved the 3-2 victory. MOTM to Ross for them I would say.
Still no sign of my opponent Dave McCormack at 9:05pm – however I was told that he was on his way direct from work. We eventually started around 9:30pm and I was told later that we finished just 12 minutes later. I won 3-0 quite comfortably although the last two rallies in the 3rd game were particularly tough.
So I went for a shower, but Dave just put his clothes on and went back to work (well that’s the first for me in 35 years of league squash!).
The pizzas were even later than Dave! But they were worth waiting for especially the vegetarian one! We chatted all things squash and what could be better than that for a Wednesday night out!
And later, when I did that Facebook thing to see what the main words that I used on Facebook this year were, I don’t think anyone will be too surprised to see the results!
DLWE (Kelvin Financial Planning) v Hamilton 1 – Home (Match Report) 28th October 2015
I’d organised 6:30 PM starts for Doug and I against Hamilton last Wednesday, so obviously the match started about 7:15 PM! To be fair traffic is a nightmare about our club at match time and the Hamilton guys had to fight their way through the M8 traffic to boot.
Doug eventually made it on first against Chris McGeady and I went on around the same time against Allan Mackay so I missed a lot of Doug’s match. However he appeared to dominate from the word go it appears and won his match 3-0 by keeping it simple and not letting Chris in for a moment.
After our previous ding dong battles in the past couple of seasons I personally was really hoping not to have to pay Calum Philip again (!) so was delighted to hear that he’d challenged his way up to No.2 for this match. Like Doug, I also won 3-0 but my score line flatters me somewhat. Don’t get me wrong I thought I played really well and I was trying to mix it up against Allan. However I was lucky to win the third from 8-2 down, and in fact I was worried throughout the match that it could have gone either way at any time (including at 12-12 in the 2nd!). Win in three don’t lose in five as my old man always used to say to me (I can’t believe I’m quoting my dad! He’ll not let me forget this!)
Next up at No.5 was Joe McDonald v Stephen Healy and this was a real tough one. Joe took the 1st game 11-9 but it was nip and tuck all the way. And it only got tighter from there on as the 2nd and 3rd game games were even closer and Joe unfortunately lost both of them 10-12. Stephen was really tricky to play and it was very difficult to predict his next shot. The 4th game was much easier for Stephen and he won it 11-6 as Joe tired. But an excellent tussle and a 3-1 win for Hamilton.
Jason Lang took to the court next against Calum Philip. Calum apparently was apparently equally as relieved not to play me as I was not to play him! However it was out of the frying pan into the fire as he took on t’other Jason, who is very much in form. Having said that at 1-1 Calum was playing really well and crashing his normal shots all over the court and normally in the nic! However Jason managed to regain control and took the 3rd and 4th games by getting excellent leads in both and despite comebacks from Callum he had just too much of a lead
Last on was Craig Valente-Wallace v Kenny Boyle at No.1. No Craig is loving his tough matches this year so it was no surprise that this one was going the whole way!
An excellent 1st game for Craig was followed by a great comeback from Kenny as he went 2-1 up in the match. Craig clawed back the 4th to set up a grandstand finish on the 5th.
Both men must have been very tired, but I suspect that Craig didn’t realise just how tired Kenny was becoming. Despite this Kenny gave it everything in the 5th and came home with a 3-2 win. However I would have liked to see Craig really make Kenny work in the 2nd and 3rd games and then see if the 5th went the same way. Obviously we will never know and fairplay to Kenny as he looks as sharp and determined as ever.
So another excellent 3-2 win for the team and it was just in time for baked potatoes for dinner. This will have taken Jason back to his Renfrew days – it certainly took me back as well! And it was good to see that the 4th team did not nick all the food this week!
I pointed my camera phone at Doug & Jase and said smile for the MOTM award guys, but I had it on ‘selfie mode’ obviously! (mind you Craig almost got it again this week). 
West Squash Leagues 2015/16
Here are the West Squash Leagues for 2015-16
West Squash Gents Fixtures 2015-2016
To see the individual Clubs fixtures click here
2015 Best West Juniors – Prize-giving Sponsored by Harrow
Harrow were proud to Sponsor the Junior Leagues this year and we were delighted that so many players and teams got involved (9 teams and around 80 players).
Giffnock were the West’s winning team, but there were also prizes for the best Junior Boy and Best Junior girl.
Best Junior Girl was won by Elena Murio from DLWE who played 14 fixtures and won 7 (improving her ranking by 480 points, which was the highest for any girl in the league! In fact for anyone I think!)
The Best Junior Boy in the West Junior Leagues was 
Kevin Lynch Small who played for Scotstoun and had a ‘played 17 won 10‘ ratio which was an excellent achievement.
Both players are pictured with their West Trophy’s and Harrow Prizes for winning their category.
Well played to everyone who took part and here’s to next season.
Please click the links in this article to see more.
DLWE (Kelvin Financial Planning) v Hamilton – Away (Match Report) 18th February 2015
Hamilton away tonight and we beat them in the first half of the season, but we got wind that it would be Hamilton & Edinburgh tonight, so we were up against this week – and after last week’s heroics we knew that we were in for a tough night. And so it proved.
First on was Big Davie (Craig) at No.4 against Allan McKay (who played No.1 last time!). A decent first and last game from the big man, but Allan was in control of most of the match and won 3-0.
Craig (V-W) played Alistair Mutch at No.1 next. Ali’s only lost to Kevin Moran, Dougie Kempsell & Peter O’Hara so far this season so Craig was really up against it – to say the least. However great touch, fantastic movement and excellent volleying…………and Ali was pretty decent as well. However 3-0 to Hamilton & Edinburgh.
Colin (Clark) was on at No.5 next against David McAleese. This was the tussle of the night with both players making mistakes by the bucket load and every game was very close. Colin had his chances in the 4th and even had a match ball, but a Dave wrestled it back and he went on to win the 5th as well.
I was on next against ex-U19 No.1 (from the 1990s) Chris Grey. Great bloke and a great talent and I was so outclassed it must have looked ridiculous at times (it certainly felt it). Encouraging words from Doug in-between games with comments like “Seeing as you’re getting tanked you’re actually doing quite well!” helped.
Having said that, the night was not entirely wasted as I invented a new game in the 2nd when I shouted:
“So many times” as I hit another backhand into the tin. A thought came to me, so I followed it up, when the ball came back to me very quickly, by shouting:
“It happened so fast” – do you see where this is going? Well you’re obviously from the 80s & 90s then! The next shout would be more difficult! Would Chris notice?
Another point lost:
“Trade your passion Jason!” he didn’t seem to notice. Next I would need a great shot for the next line – sublime forehand boast:
“For Glory” I shouted. Chris didn’t seem to either know what I was up to (or care!) I can’t believe he didn’t hear me!!
Doug wasn’t very impressed when I told him either (mind you he didn’t recognise the ‘Eye of the Tiger’ lyrics – he must be from the noughties!). Or maybe it’s just a that ‘little amuses the innocent’
Anyway I got thumped and didn’t really get a great run either – it was good to watch Chris play though!
Last up was Doug (Macmillan) v Seigo Masuda (from Japan, via London & now living in Edinburgh). This lad could run! Craig mentioned that he’s had a massive 3-2 with him once and it had lasted about an hour and a half, so when I came out of the shower I wasn’t surprised to find out it was only the 2nd game. Doug was playing well and he won the 2nd to even things up. Seigo didn’t have a bead of sweat on him!
At 16-16 in the 3rd Doug would need to win this one to have a chance in the match, unfortunately he didn’t and lost the 4th as well. However he did play very well.
So a tough 18-3 loss and we’ve slipped back into 3rd last spot in the table. It’s close though
Jase
PS – I see Giffnock beat Newlands last night 15-5 (good win for Pistol Pete though!) – we’ve got them next week!!
DLWE v SSRC Home (Match Report) 11th February 2015
Last Wednesday the 1st team played SSRC and we’d heard it through the grapevine that the SSRC superstars from Edinburgh were not available (due to tournaments and girlfriends) so could this be our chance to put a few points on the board for the team the club and our ‘Kelvin Financial Planning’ Sponsor! Oh yes!
First on with the early start was David Craig. This week he brought the whole family, so my mascot minding duties were limited. Dave played Rahul Gupta at No.4 and went on court like a coiled………banana! Yup the usual 0-1 start from the big man, mind you he was soon up 10-3 in the 2nd game and obviously wasn’t going to lose this one? You’d think! Well Dave tried his hardest to lose it, as Rahul came back to 10-9, but Dave obviously had it all in control and won the next point (I slapped him with a wet fish when he came off court!).
The next two were hard fought but Dave was always in control with and won the match; taking none of the 10 (or so) strokes on offer, although Rauhl was looking for a few strokes that weren’t even lets!
(3-1 DLWE)
On at the same time was Dougie (MacMillan) against Dave McCormick (at No.2). The two players know each other well and big Robert (Dougies old man) joined in the fun by marking the match. I didn’t see the match, but Doug seemed to stroll the first two games, then it became more interesting in the 3rd at 10-9 to Dave (and 12-12!). However Doug wrestled victory from the jaws of defeat and won 3-0 (it didn’t stop Dave claiming the moral victory for almost taking a game though!).
(6-1 DLWE)
Colin (Clark) went on next against Martin Sullivan (at No.5) and when he was safely 2-0 up I knew he would bring the match home so I went on court myself about then.
I was on against Chris Holt who I’d had a few tussles with over the years. And I wasn’t helped by not feeling 100%: the racket felt like I was playing with a tennis bat. Still I was moving OK and won the 1st by volleying well – having said that I lost the 2nd by not volleying. So it was good to get some sound advice from Doug after the 2nd “Volley more you idiot!” The legs were feeling heavy as well, but I managed to keep the advise in mind and won the match 3-1.
So we must be 4-0 up in the match, no? NO?!?! Colin was in the 5th game against Martin and at 8-8 it could have gone either way. Fortunately Colin got the last 3 points and won 3-2. Colin claimed he was just looking for value for money for the night!
(12-4 DLWE)
Last on was Craig (Valentie-Wallace) against Brian Robertson at No.1. Brian came off after the 1st saying “I hate playing guys who get absolutely everything back!” and he was looking suitably red-in-the-face as he said it – having just lost 11-8. However when Brian won the 2nd game he came off and said “I hate playing guys who get absolutely everything back!!”.
Craig had let him in the 2nd by not playing with 100% intensity, but this was the last chance he gave Brian as he made fewer mistakes after that and won the next 2 much more comfortably.
So a win! And our first of the second half! It’s good to win – even the dinner tastes better!
(18-5 DLWE)
Jason Broadberry
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Broadberry Sports 