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DLWE (Kelvin Financial Planning) v Western 2 – Home (Match Report) 3rd February 2016
It’s all about the ‘T’
It was a Western showdown last week and so hopefully our chance to pick up a few points against their 2nd team.
I was only a couple of minutes late, but when I arrived there was already the discussion that many teams must have most weeks! And I’m equally sure it goes like this for everyone “Oh well if you are No.3 and I am No.4 and we’re here first let’s just play and get things started as there’s not much difference between the numbers” !!!
I managed to divert this and at the same time get on first against the other No.3! So I played against Gavin Picken (who I had sparred with in the first half). I remembered he was an Ironman athlete and a good tennis player so the tactic of trying ‘not’ to get into too much of a run around would be crucial! For me!
So inevitably the first rally seemed to last for an absolute age and I thought I’ve got no chance if this carries on. Fortunately it didn’t and I managed to hit a very good dying length (helped by the fact that Gavin didn’t volley much). In the end the result was comfortable looking, although I can’t help thinking it would have been much closer if I hadn’t got my tactics right. Another frustrated opponent and another one chalked up to experience for me!
At No.2 Jason (Lang) went on next against Dave ‘Hello sailor’ Kelly. I joined this in the third game and Jason was comfortably in control. Unfortunately for Dangerous Dave he was just too quick and so Jase won comfortably 3-0 (no innuendo intended towards Dave, he’s just a sailor! #FrigginInTheRiggin)
Craig (Valente-Wallace) went on next at No.1 against Sam Peacock and at the same time I marked the No.4 match which was Joe (McDonald) against Joseph Ghaemi, so I didn’t see any of Craig’s match. However, he seemed to be winning comfortably 2-0; but then Sam made a great comeback in the 3rd game, but ultimately Craig must have reapplied the pressure as the 4th was comfortable and he won the match 3-1. Sam was delighted with the point and presumably gave himself MOTM!
Meanwhile, in the No.4 match up, our Joe was 2-0 down and not really getting the ball deep enough, then just like the match next door Joe won the 3rd game and looked good doing it with a much better length ball. However the 4th game was quite scrappy with both guys fighting for the dominant ‘T’ position; unfortunately for us Western’s Joe got on the ‘T’ more often than our Joe and eventually won the 4th game to take the match 3-1.
Last on and making his 1st team debut was Finlay McGhee (which comes out as ‘Friendly Maggie’ on my voice recognition doofer!) against Jon Moore. Great performance in the 1st game saw him winning 11-3, but his opponent came back to take the 2nd – game on!
Once again it was length to the back that was going to make the difference and this time Finlay managed to be the one to create the pressure and bring home the match 3-1. MOTM for Finlay the debutant.
So a good 16 points for the team and I think we are getting vertigo with our lofty position in the 1st Division! So maybe we were due a special dinner to celebrate?? Nope Jacket potatoes! Yuck!!
DLWE (Kelvin Financial Planning) v Townend – Away (Match Report) 20th January 2016
His nieve a nit!
Away to deepest darkest Ayrshire this week to what proved to be a tough one and on the week o ‘Burns Night’ as well!
Townend away and the team was hoping to pick up some points this week, especially as we won the first half battle at home, albeit with a close 3-2.
First on was the ‘Great Chieftain o the Puddin-race’ Doug at No.4 and this was a bit of a low point in Doug’s season with none of the attributes he’s known for on show tonight. Kenny Hardy his opponent played well and deserved 3 points tonight. Doug left soon after (thro his pores the dews distil, like amber bead!).
I went on next (but mark the Rustic, veggie haggis-fed!) against Scotty ‘Shabana’ Bradford. All good fun and games, but I frustrated Scott tonight with some good boasting and volleying to win 3-0 reasonably comfortably.
Joe (McDonald) went on next at No.5 and played James Ramage. This was a great match up and went all the way to 5 games. At the end of the day it was all about who could hit the best length (as it often is) and James got to grips with it just that little bit better than Joe, all the games were tight but having been 2-0 up, it was disappointing to lose this one. Still Joe put in a big effort and gave it 100% (game for game, they stretch an strive: Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive).
Jason Lang stepped up this week in every sense (Clap in his walie nieve a squash racket, he’ll make it whissle). He is still coming back from that fulie/chesty thing that everyone seemed to have over the Christmas and at 2-2 it looked like that was going to be the difference. It was a great game up to this point with Ross McHoul just managing to qualify for the 2nd half (by sneaking in the last 2 matches of the 1st half). Ross was flashing the shots all over the court and a 100% fit Jason would probably have been able to keep chasing, but not tonight as Ross took the match 3-2. Still you can’t fault the commitment from Jason and he really did everything he could on the night.
A real tough one tonight for Craig at No.1 (Fair fa’ your honest, sonsie face) against his friend Rory Stewart. This was close in the first half, but tonight Rory was playing a different brand of squash. He volleyed well and was right on top of his game. Craig gave it everything (the court see rustic Labour dight) but tonight he was just up against a man in form.
Still good effort from the Townend lads on the catering front!
Not really it was (veggie) pizza!
PS – Don’t forget to come along to the Edinburgh Open this week (Thurs-Sun) at ESC for the best standard of squash on show in Scotland (the Draw’s can be seen by clicking here) – including Craig/Rory/Ross and Darly Selby!
DLWE (Kelvin Financial Planning) v Whitecraigs RFC – Away (Match Report) 11th January 2016
Spot the squash player – Dog or Doug!
You know when you come back after Christmas and you think that the first match will be okay as everyone else is in the same boat as you having eaten and drunk too much all through the festive period? Well this was nothing like that!
This was a real tough one for us in the first half (when we only sneaked a 3-2 win). This time we were missing our No.2 and so everybody had to play up one position which ultimately meant carnage……..for our team!
Still at least we got an early start and we also had 2 courts. On at number five was David Craig and he played Aberdeen University’s Alex Ross (will be interesting to see if West Squash enforce the “You have to play 3 matches in the 1st half” rule!!). The 1st game was a real hum-dinger and it finished 21-19. Both players had their chances, but Alex eventually came through to clinch it. In the second game Alex really got into his stride and Dave didn’t volley well enough, so the game began to slip away from him. The 3rd was also close and we almost secured a crucial team point, but it wasn’t to be (or not to be!).
I noticed that the ball was a bit strange and found out that it wasn’t the normal Dunlop one, so I soon asked for a change of ball. I went on the other court and played at No.2 against Ewan Hearns and was out of the starting blocks like ‘s*** off a shovel’ and secured the golden team point. However after that Ewan woke up and won the next 3 easily! (although I had a sniff in the 3rd?!?!).
Next up was Joe McDonald against Harry Anderson. Harry has got all the shots these days so I advised Joe just to do as much as he could to keep in the match. I didn’t see much of the match as I was on court, but he must have done this quite well as he appeared to be in every game. I joined it late on in the 3rd with Harry 2-0 up – however Joe was 10-6 up -game ball. Unfortunately he couldn’t capitalise on the lead (especially painful was one ‘tinned’ drop, were the whole crowd groaned in sympathy) as Harry dug in. In the end Harry won on a tiebreaker and so three more points to the Rugby Club.
Next on was ‘The clash of the Dougies’ with Dougie Macmillan against Dougie Emery (as I realized when I said “Come on Dougie” halfway through the 1st game). This was 3 easy points to Dougie – t’other Doug had been up all night studying for an exam and I’m not sure he had played much over the festive period, so no real surprise. Three more points to Whitecraigs.
Last on was Craig Valente Wallace v Andy MacBean. These guys had an exciting 3-1 last time so this could have potentially been a real tight one. But it wasn’t to be tonight as Craig never really got going and (I believe) personal circumstances meant we didn’t see the best of him tonight. So The final three points to the Rugby Club.
So off to the bar for veggie chilli for Ewan and I and ordinary chilli for everyone else to celebrate the 1 point gained tonight (down 13 on last time!).
We need a big push in the next few weeks to capitalise on the great start we made last year.
DLWE (Kelvin Financial Planning) v Giffnock 1 – Away (Match Report) 9th December 2015
A real tough match on Wednesday against top of the table (and 2014/15 champs) Giffnock 1 (it was a task akin to Bournemouth going to Chelsea! Except they played nothing like Chelsea and we played nothing like Bournemouth!)
On first on was Joe McDonald against Patrick O’Sullivan at No.5 (Patrick has already played against us for the 2nd team…. at No.2!). I will gloss over the first game and definitely won’t mention the granny (!) – but after that Joe did really well by dragging Patrick into his game. So much so that he almost nicked the 3rd game and only lost 16-14
I (Jason Broadberry) went on next against Owen (Haddaway – baby don’t hurt me) Hadden at No.3. This was a bit of a non-game as I suspected it might be. I tried to play a lot straighter as that was the only thing that was keeping me in the rally (but only by a few shots per rally). I could go into all the technical reasons that Owen is much better than me but needless to say I got chopped 3-0 (Haddaway hurt me!).
Doug went on next against Naill Morris at No.5 and played really well in patches, including nicking the 2nd game (a team point is gold dust tonight). It was good to see him turn it up this week, having said that he played rubbish in patches as well! But then I can hardly talk as I was much worse! Still he was really up against it as Naill has only lost one game in about 3 years! (I remember the day Naill – you could be like me in a few years! Remember inside every old person is a young person wondering what the f*** happened!)
Next up was Jason Lang against James Singh at No.2 and as they went on court Owen said to James ‘and you can put your fishing rod away if I’m marking as well!” – he didn’t!
This was always going to be a tough one as both players are young and can get anything – and so it proved. James got the first, but only because of a couple of mistakes at the business end of the game (and a stroke on game ball) and then went 2-0 up with some good tactical advice (and another stroke on game ball). Jase came back in to win a lung busting 3rd, but James had plenty left to win the match 3-1.
Craig went on next at number one against Stuart George. He played particularly well in the first game as Stuart was slightly off the pace, and he managed to sneak this one. After that I felt that Craig lost a little bit of belief. Don’t get me wrong Stuart really stepped it up, but I felt Craig didn’t really take the momentum of the first game into the rest of the match. Having said that he did very well to secure another team point so fair play to him, but Stuart was ruthless for the rest of the match and won 3-1.
Well all of our team disappeared in a steady stream, so it was left to me to talk to the Giffnock lads over about 20 pizzas! James Singh had 4 chips for dinner and was completely full! Whereas Owen and I had about four pizzas each! And you’ll never guess who was the only one to have a beer all night!
DLWE (Kelvin Financial Planning) v Strathgryffe – Away (Match Report) 18th November 2015
At 3pm today I was in sunny Spain having a relaxing time on the beach, but just a
few hours later I battled my way through Storm Barney (when did we start naming storms?) to reach Strathgryffe a little late, at around 7.15pm – but it turns out I was very early!
First up tonight and starting early (as he had to leave early) was Joe against Dave at number five. When I arrived the pair were having some humongous rallies and I thought this must be really close. However I soon learned that they were just playing a friendly as Joe had already won! Well he obviously wasn’t that keen to get away! Still 3 points on the board for us!
The number 4s went on next as Doug took on Graham Proud. I had never seen Graham play before and was impressed with his range of shots. This wasn’t one of Doug’s finest games however and he was well beaten.
My opponent still hadn’t turned up so next on at No.1 were Craig against Martin Woods. This was an interesting game as it appears that Craig is now in a position to really challenge Martin. I had the pleasure of marking this one and I said to both players before they went on “Call your own pickups and don’t moan at my decisions” Craig replied that he could only do one of these requests so I would have to pick!
This game was all about whether Craig could put enough physical pressure on Martin to tire him out. After the 1st I was sure he could, but when Martin came back and won the 2nd things were not quite as certain. However Craig knuckled down and really made Martin work harder and harder as the match progressed. It was soon obvious that Martin didn’t have the legs to run all of Craig’s rallies down. So a good 3-1 win for Craig – although neither man seem to want to take the last point and in the end it took an amazing fluke from Craig to secure the match (I would be inclined to give Craig MOTM again this week).
Still no sign of my opponent so on at No.2 was Jason Lang returning to his old club against Ross (Red) Lawrie. Jason has been playing very well recently and so I thought he would be too strong for Ross. But squash constantly surprises you and Ross was playing brilliantly and his range of shots was amazing. Every time Jason went cross-court, Ross was on it in a flash and often volleying away a winner or playing some ridiculously good shot!
So could Jase keep the ball to a good length and straight? Well at 2-2 in games it appeared that he couldn’t do it often enough; so now it was anyone’s game! Ross was putting away all services on the volley time after time and Jason was struggling to straighten the shots, so consequently Ross was dominating the ‘T’ and putting Jason’s cross-court returns away. It was all very close in the end (about 10-10) and it was a shame that the match finished on a stroke, but there you have it and Ross fully deserved the 3-2 victory. MOTM to Ross for them I would say.
Still no sign of my opponent Dave McCormack at 9:05pm – however I was told that he was on his way direct from work. We eventually started around 9:30pm and I was told later that we finished just 12 minutes later. I won 3-0 quite comfortably although the last two rallies in the 3rd game were particularly tough.
So I went for a shower, but Dave just put his clothes on and went back to work (well that’s the first for me in 35 years of league squash!).
The pizzas were even later than Dave! But they were worth waiting for especially the vegetarian one! We chatted all things squash and what could be better than that for a Wednesday night out!
And later, when I did that Facebook thing to see what the main words that I used on Facebook this year were, I don’t think anyone will be too surprised to see the results!
DLWE (Kelvin Financial Planning) v Hamilton 1 – Home (Match Report) 28th October 2015
I’d organised 6:30 PM starts for Doug and I against Hamilton last Wednesday, so obviously the match started about 7:15 PM! To be fair traffic is a nightmare about our club at match time and the Hamilton guys had to fight their way through the M8 traffic to boot.
Doug eventually made it on first against Chris McGeady and I went on around the same time against Allan Mackay so I missed a lot of Doug’s match. However he appeared to dominate from the word go it appears and won his match 3-0 by keeping it simple and not letting Chris in for a moment.
After our previous ding dong battles in the past couple of seasons I personally was really hoping not to have to pay Calum Philip again (!) so was delighted to hear that he’d challenged his way up to No.2 for this match. Like Doug, I also won 3-0 but my score line flatters me somewhat. Don’t get me wrong I thought I played really well and I was trying to mix it up against Allan. However I was lucky to win the third from 8-2 down, and in fact I was worried throughout the match that it could have gone either way at any time (including at 12-12 in the 2nd!). Win in three don’t lose in five as my old man always used to say to me (I can’t believe I’m quoting my dad! He’ll not let me forget this!)
Next up at No.5 was Joe McDonald v Stephen Healy and this was a real tough one. Joe took the 1st game 11-9 but it was nip and tuck all the way. And it only got tighter from there on as the 2nd and 3rd game games were even closer and Joe unfortunately lost both of them 10-12. Stephen was really tricky to play and it was very difficult to predict his next shot. The 4th game was much easier for Stephen and he won it 11-6 as Joe tired. But an excellent tussle and a 3-1 win for Hamilton.
Jason Lang took to the court next against Calum Philip. Calum apparently was apparently equally as relieved not to play me as I was not to play him! However it was out of the frying pan into the fire as he took on t’other Jason, who is very much in form. Having said that at 1-1 Calum was playing really well and crashing his normal shots all over the court and normally in the nic! However Jason managed to regain control and took the 3rd and 4th games by getting excellent leads in both and despite comebacks from Callum he had just too much of a lead
Last on was Craig Valente-Wallace v Kenny Boyle at No.1. No Craig is loving his tough matches this year so it was no surprise that this one was going the whole way!
An excellent 1st game for Craig was followed by a great comeback from Kenny as he went 2-1 up in the match. Craig clawed back the 4th to set up a grandstand finish on the 5th.
Both men must have been very tired, but I suspect that Craig didn’t realise just how tired Kenny was becoming. Despite this Kenny gave it everything in the 5th and came home with a 3-2 win. However I would have liked to see Craig really make Kenny work in the 2nd and 3rd games and then see if the 5th went the same way. Obviously we will never know and fairplay to Kenny as he looks as sharp and determined as ever.
So another excellent 3-2 win for the team and it was just in time for baked potatoes for dinner. This will have taken Jason back to his Renfrew days – it certainly took me back as well! And it was good to see that the 4th team did not nick all the food this week!
I pointed my camera phone at Doug & Jase and said smile for the MOTM award guys, but I had it on ‘selfie mode’ obviously! (mind you Craig almost got it again this week). 
DLWE (Kelvin Financial Planning) v Townend 1 – Home (Match Report) 21st October 2015
Okay so the report is still late but at least it is earlier than last weeks! And with two weeks between the last match and this, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I sat on the couch last Wednesday and when the wife said “What’s on TV” I don’t think she appreciated the reply “Dust!”
Anyway Townend 1 came to this end of town last week (do you see what I did there!) and despite trying to get an early start none of the ties really matched up. First on at No.5 was Joe McDonald V Peter Shivas. Peter still looks ‘regal’ on court and it is great to see him still playing 1st division squash. He still has the ability to pull out a perfect length shot to the back of the court whenever he needs it, and ultimately this is why he won 3-0. He kept Joe to the back and even if the ball came back it was dispatched. Joe was disappointed with his performance and his racket got the full brunt of his frustration and almost my head; however I thought Peter dominated well and didn’t really let Joe get his foot in the door.
Next on court were the No.1s as Craig Valente Wallace took on Rory Stewart. I don’t think Craig really believed he could win this one, so he must have surprised himself because he played well. Every game was tight and the first two were tie-breakers (the 1st to Rory and the 2nd to Craig). I thought Craig was really in the match and a few more lucky breaks (and a little bit more belief) and who knows, as the 3rd and 4th games only had two points in each of them (9-11 9-11). Unfortunately Rory won them both and so took the match 3-1.
So we were 2-0 down and would need to win every other tie.
Doug took to the court next against Scotty (Shabana) Bradford! This match was hilarious as Scott is a real character on and off the court. Every time he did the splits I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry! Or Cry with laughter!! It was a great 1st game and Doug was fortunate at 11-11 to bring home the last two points. However after this he seems to have picked up as the next 2 games were reasonably comfortable. So the comeback was on with Doug’s 3-0 win at No.4
The No.2 pairing was on next as Jason Lang played Ross McHoul. I didn’t know how to call this one and thought it could go either way. And do you know what? It did! Unfortunately I didn’t see it, as I had to go on court myself.
I was playing at No.3 against Ross Allan. As I went on court the heat hit me which was very unlike our courts. I think this suited Ross as he proceeded to give me the run-around! We traded games, Ross winning the 1st and me the 2nd etc until we reached the 5th (I obviously won’t mention the game point in the 4th, when Ross declared my ball was a double bounce and walked off the court – slipping the referee a tenner as he went – with me looking mystified and waiting to serve! I definitely won’t mention that!).
Anyway by that time, the news was that Jason had won his match at No.2 – and so at 2-2 in matches and Ross and I at 2-2 it made the 5th a bit spicy!
Fortunately for me I got Ross on the end of a really long rally, early on in the 5th and after that I found the going much easier. 6-0 became 9-3 and I knew I was going to be tough to beat from there. So a fortunate 3-2 win for me and the match was secured (hold on did I win that match on fitness!).
Well what a team come back! And talking of come-backs it was ‘good’ to see the pasta-bake back on the menu for dinner (everyone seems to hate it except me).
Most of the players had disappeared by the time I made it to the table, maybe they didn’t fancy my chat! So it just left Doug, Jason and myself to decide on Saturday 12th December for the Christmas night out – Craig is banned after getting me too drunk last time!!
To see all DLWE reports click here
West Squash Leagues 2015/16
Here are the West Squash Leagues for 2015-16
West Squash Gents Fixtures 2015-2016
To see the individual Clubs fixtures click here
2015 Best West Juniors – Prize-giving Sponsored by Harrow
Harrow were proud to Sponsor the Junior Leagues this year and we were delighted that so many players and teams got involved (9 teams and around 80 players).
Giffnock were the West’s winning team, but there were also prizes for the best Junior Boy and Best Junior girl.
Best Junior Girl was won by Elena Murio from DLWE who played 14 fixtures and won 7 (improving her ranking by 480 points, which was the highest for any girl in the league! In fact for anyone I think!)
The Best Junior Boy in the West Junior Leagues was 
Kevin Lynch Small who played for Scotstoun and had a ‘played 17 won 10‘ ratio which was an excellent achievement.
Both players are pictured with their West Trophy’s and Harrow Prizes for winning their category.
Well played to everyone who took part and here’s to next season.
Please click the links in this article to see more.
DLWE (Kelvin Financial Planning) v Hamilton – Away (Match Report) 18th February 2015
Hamilton away tonight and we beat them in the first half of the season, but we got wind that it would be Hamilton & Edinburgh tonight, so we were up against this week – and after last week’s heroics we knew that we were in for a tough night. And so it proved.
First on was Big Davie (Craig) at No.4 against Allan McKay (who played No.1 last time!). A decent first and last game from the big man, but Allan was in control of most of the match and won 3-0.
Craig (V-W) played Alistair Mutch at No.1 next. Ali’s only lost to Kevin Moran, Dougie Kempsell & Peter O’Hara so far this season so Craig was really up against it – to say the least. However great touch, fantastic movement and excellent volleying…………and Ali was pretty decent as well. However 3-0 to Hamilton & Edinburgh.
Colin (Clark) was on at No.5 next against David McAleese. This was the tussle of the night with both players making mistakes by the bucket load and every game was very close. Colin had his chances in the 4th and even had a match ball, but a Dave wrestled it back and he went on to win the 5th as well.
I was on next against ex-U19 No.1 (from the 1990s) Chris Grey. Great bloke and a great talent and I was so outclassed it must have looked ridiculous at times (it certainly felt it). Encouraging words from Doug in-between games with comments like “Seeing as you’re getting tanked you’re actually doing quite well!” helped.
Having said that, the night was not entirely wasted as I invented a new game in the 2nd when I shouted:
“So many times” as I hit another backhand into the tin. A thought came to me, so I followed it up, when the ball came back to me very quickly, by shouting:
“It happened so fast” – do you see where this is going? Well you’re obviously from the 80s & 90s then! The next shout would be more difficult! Would Chris notice?
Another point lost:
“Trade your passion Jason!” he didn’t seem to notice. Next I would need a great shot for the next line – sublime forehand boast:
“For Glory” I shouted. Chris didn’t seem to either know what I was up to (or care!) I can’t believe he didn’t hear me!!
Doug wasn’t very impressed when I told him either (mind you he didn’t recognise the ‘Eye of the Tiger’ lyrics – he must be from the noughties!). Or maybe it’s just a that ‘little amuses the innocent’
Anyway I got thumped and didn’t really get a great run either – it was good to watch Chris play though!
Last up was Doug (Macmillan) v Seigo Masuda (from Japan, via London & now living in Edinburgh). This lad could run! Craig mentioned that he’s had a massive 3-2 with him once and it had lasted about an hour and a half, so when I came out of the shower I wasn’t surprised to find out it was only the 2nd game. Doug was playing well and he won the 2nd to even things up. Seigo didn’t have a bead of sweat on him!
At 16-16 in the 3rd Doug would need to win this one to have a chance in the match, unfortunately he didn’t and lost the 4th as well. However he did play very well.
So a tough 18-3 loss and we’ve slipped back into 3rd last spot in the table. It’s close though
Jase
PS – I see Giffnock beat Newlands last night 15-5 (good win for Pistol Pete though!) – we’ve got them next week!!
Jason Broadberry
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Broadberry Sports 