Home > Uncategorized > DLWE v Hamilton 2 – Home (Match Report) 17th December 2014

DLWE v Hamilton 2 – Home (Match Report) 17th December 2014

westsquashsitelogo1Well the 2 strongest teams of Division 1 clashed tonight, as last against 2nd last met up to prove who could hold-up the whole of Division 1.

You may be fearing the worst for us as this report is late, but don’t be deceived we had a great match up against Hamilton 2 and it could have gone either way, but they made the mistake of not bringing a mascot! (and our Kelvin FP shirts were better than theirs!).

Also the unbelievable happened last Saturday (on the night of the Christmas outing) and Doug beat me in a match (albeit 12-10 in the last game) so he was No.2 tonight (although he was 2 hours late for work on the Sunday – lightweight youngster!).

Click Here to see all previous reports or click here to see the rest of the report

Dave & Elvi Craig (dad & mascot/daughter) turned up first and their opponent was Keith Martin from Hamilton. Dave is actually warming up on a regular basis these days and winning 1st games as well! Same tonight 1st game secured. And you’ll never believe this but he won the 2nd as well. I know what you’re thinking let’s fast forward to the 5th! Wrong! No one could believe it Dave won 3-0 (didn’t let Keith in once). Can’t really give you a report this week as Elvi kept me busy walking all over the club pointing at random people and shouting “Daddy” and there was nothing to read in the Elvi bag either (note to Dave’s missus – more books please). At one point Doug saw Elvi & I on the ‘wire and movable beads table’ and just said “You’re enjoying that more than her!

Next on was Michael Jackson (hee-hee!) against Gregor Braidwood and I went on at the same time so can’t really tell you about this one much either. However Michael Jackson obviously did ‘Wanna be Startin somethin’” and after the loss of the 1st game (9-11) he did. The tables turned dramatically as he won the next 3 – he obviously thought when chasing all of Gregor’s shots I’ve “Got To Be There”!!

As I say I was on next at No.3 against Calum Phillip and another great tussle and always a 3-2 to be had between us. Reading Calum’s game is incredibly difficult as you don’t really know where the ball is going – and it goes there really quickly!! On top of that it was the battle of the least fit tonight. I was knackered from a 1500 mile 3 day trip and Calum had the cold! I didn’t even see the ball in the first, but by 2-2 was beginning to read some shots!

Just then a 4th team player (Raymond) came up to me between games and said “Don’t you dare lose this by doing what you always tell us not to!” well that was a bit of a wake-up call and was probably what motivated me to win the 5th 11-6. To be fair Calum was fading fast, but a win’s a win!

Craig (Valentie-Wallace) was up against Kenny Boyle tonight at No.1 and no one else would referee it, so I had to take the board!! Both players looked incredulously at me if I gave a decision against them, whilst the other 100% agreed with me (so you know you’re doing a half decent job if that happens) e.g. Me – “Yes let.” Player coming off the court for a ‘chat’ “Why’s that not a stroke?” Me “Because you were fishing for a stroke (with an unreasonable swing) when it was obviously a let.” One player disgusted – the other player delighted! (well marking is a tough and thankless task, but also part of the Wednesday night experience – thankfully no one fell out with anyone).

A hard fought game between Craig and Kenny at about 8-8 in both of the first two games. But it was Kenny who prevailed in both. To win against Kenny you have to win every rally 3 or 4 times and I thought if Craig could keep the rallies going – with a few soft pace shots to keep him in it at times – he may have a chance. Unfortunately Kenny’s game is great these days and he hit’s a mean length and he’s as relentless as ever. Craig lost a bit of heart toward the end of the match and Kenny ended up winning 3-0, but it could have been much closer than the 3-0 result suggests (however it’s a team game and without Craig we’d have definitely lost the match).

Last on was the match of the night as Doug (MacMillan) played Grant Grey at No.2. The 1st game exemplified the whole match with a 13-11 tie break and a massive battle of wills. And so to the 5th! The squash was great to watch just for the sheer physical effort – both players were great & fair competitors – physical and determined individuals and up to 7-7 in the 5th you couldn’t get a cigarette paper between them! Then the mother of all disasters for Doug.

Tin- tin – tin – out!


10-7 match ball and no where back from there.

To say Doug was a tad upset would be a massive understatement. The racket learned how to fly and the bag got a kicking. It really hurt him!

I saw him in the changing room later and he said the immortal lines “Not that I care about squash results anyway!” …..I let it go!

Only a bloody shandy to drink with dinner! I’ve not ordered a shandy in about 20 years!?!?! (Doug would only drink water!)



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