Home > Uncategorized > DLWE v Dumfries & Hamilton – Away (Match Report) 6th March 2013

DLWE v Dumfries & Hamilton – Away (Match Report) 6th March 2013

westsquashsitelogo1Well we played ‘Dumfries & Hamilton Squash Club’ last night (D&H) in the penultimate game of the season. We’re only a handful of points behind Glasgow Uni, so the team was all geared up for a good match and hoping to keep the pressure on the Uni in case they slipped up with their match against Newlands. So with the same team as the 1st half we were confident.

Ben (Mazzucco) was on first against D&H’s Keith Gristwood. Keith was picking up his 4th cap for the D&H 2nd team tonight and he started positively by winning the 1st game 15-8, but Ben came right back at him in the 2nd to level things up. Unfortunately Ben was carrying an injury and was finding it harder and harder to push-off. Then when he went into one of his ridiculous lunging splits, he jarred his ankle, fell over and it was all over. Ben retired after the end of the game and so D&H got the first win on the board. Keith had to make the long trip home so we didn’t see him again.

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Sean was on the at the same time on one of the sauna courts v Graeme Jones. He seemed to be thriving in the conditions as he largely dominated the game to win 3-0. Graeme had to go so we didn’t see him again.

I went on the same sauna court next against Calum Philips and after having a hard game with him in the 1st half I wasn’t looking forward to the ‘thwack fest’ that was bound to happen. It did! Calum had a much better appreciation of this court and his 500 mph thwack was difficult to cope with. Having said that I don’t think I played particularly well and didn’t move as sharply as I needed to. Still take nothing away from Calum he thrashed me 3-0 easily enough.

Davie Mac consoled me later by saying that if Calum lost a couple of stone he’d be some player – well, I thought, that’s a bit like a kettle calling another kettle….. a kettle (whilst chatting to Mr Pot!). Mind you I’ve lost some weight recently on these protein shakes and more importantly I also had a haircut and lost half a stone just from that!

Captain Cantlay followed on the same court straight after, against ‘The Riddler’ (aka D&H’s Robin Ridley). Richard came off after the knock-up sweating like a……… kettle (!) and said “What the hell’s that court all about?” I said “Don’t worry it’s the same for both players, as Robin’s used to colder courts at his home club as well!” Well anyone who knows Robin, knows he’s about Division 1 – No.3 standard so he chopped Rich up good and proper. A good debut performance for Robin, wonder if he’ll get another game in before the end of the season? Robin had to leave early to make the long trip home so we didn’t see him again.

We made the mistake of playing the 5 game specialist (David Craig) last! Dave went on at No.5 v Mike Tomlinson. The match was good fun to watch with Sean marking (yeah I know! Sean!!) and me, Rich and Ben supporting the Big H. There was no sign of D&H support for Mike though (mind you Kev Moran was running Kenny Boyle about on the sauna, so maybe that tempted Calum away).

Dave was in his usual mode of ‘dog chasing stick’ and despite winning the 1st game (which is as rare as a ‘Riddler’ around these parts) and the then the 2nd as well!! What was going on?? Silly! Mid off the next game the balance of The Force was restored as he couldn’t stop a great come back from Mike. However Mike got a bit tired by the end of the 5th and Dave was still chasing like a whippet, so he was able to secure 3 points for the mighty DLWE.

Good chat in the bar later, although no veggie food for me. The Dumfries & Hamilton club obviously haven’t the learned the “Make Any Dish Veggie” recipe yet. Which, as we all know by now, is make whatever meat dish you like and simply hoick the animal out. The Newcastle Brown Ale did go down well though.

We were entertained by Ben and Sean, who were at each other’s throats as usual:

Ben – “Hey Sean, what’s your favourite potato?”

Sean – “Aaaaaah poor Benny, did you dislocate you fanny tonight?”

Ben – “Did you need to stand on a chair to see over the balcony, when you refereed the match?”

And don’t even ask about the homework chat!!

So with that I can safely say that we’re now a mathematical certainty to get promotion to Division 1 (unless the West Committee take points off us for anything silly, like playing our team wildly out of order or using ringers?!?!).

Sean marking!

Sean marking!

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