Home > Uncategorized > DLWE v Newlands – Home (Match Report) 19th December 2012

DLWE v Newlands – Home (Match Report) 19th December 2012

westsquashsitelogo1As I arrived I saw Alan Susskind watching the match on court. It was Sean (Norris) playing David Fallis early on. I said:

“Hi Alan. It must be you and me at No.1 as you’ve been playing in the first division for the 2nd team at No.5 recently, haven’t you?”

“I have.” Replied Alan “but I’m playing No.4 in the 3rd team tonight”

“Of course you are! Who am I playing then?”

“Oh you’re playing a guy who’s not played for the teams this season.”

“Of course I am.”


To read more click on ‘read more’ below – To see the other DLWE Reports Click here


“What’s that guy doing playing Sean? Isn’t he in your 1st team?”

“Well he has played there, but he’s also playing for the 3rd team.”

“OK. Tough night ahead then?”

I got thrashed 3-0 by this bloke Ross (just in from Aberdeen Uni) who I never saw again.

“And where’s Mic Cockburn?” (my opponent last time)

“Oh he’s in the 2nd team at No.2”

“Really? With who?”

“The likes of John Bannister, Peter Cumine, Suart Brunton, John Singh & Mark Ford”

“Your team order is a joke” I ventured

“Well he hasn’t played for the teams this season”

“Really don’t you have a challenge system? If Peter Nicol joined your club would you just try him out in the 3rd team? Let me help you out. Play him 2 in the 2nd team or 3 in the 1st team FFS.”

OK the conversation didn’t actually go like that, but it did in my head.

I didn’t see many of the other games; not because I was sulking (although I was), but Sean was on at the same time as me and he won 3-2 despite being match ball down in the 4th game! Good win and should have got MOTM for me.

I marked the No.5 match John (Turner) v Andrew Morris. JT did well to take the 1st game 15-12 as he capitalised on his opponent’s errors. However the next 3 went the other way. JT did have a rally to go game ball up in the 4th – to take the match tantalisingly to the 5th….. and go for glory. Unfortunately he tinned it and Andrew won 13-15!

As I was marking I didn’t see Ben (Mazzucco) v Brendan Forrister, but much the same happened to Ben. He took the 1st and then lost the next 3. Still that’s only Ben’s first loss (and David Craig’s 3rd match that he’s marked! That’s more than the whole past decade!!)

I nipped away for a shower as I was freezing by this point and when I came back David (Craig) was 2-1 down against Alan Susskind at No.5. He then proceeded to win the next 11 points on the trot!?!!

“What’s going on?”I asked

“Dusty Dave got a bad call and he’s a bit annoyed.”

“Well when he comes off court can you tell him he’s a tart and kick him in the shins before he goes on for the 5th game. Whatever it takes!”

David  won the 5th game 15-5

So we lost tonight 3-2. Tough to take.

Over our pasta dinner the following conversations took place:

Sean & Ben

Ben “ I passed my driving test yesterday.”

“About time!” said Sean “It’s you’re 17th attempt. And anyway aren’t you driving a gay white car?

“You’re car’s white as well.” Ben retorted.

“Yeah. Good point” said Sean

“Did you buy it to match your hair!”

Sean & Me

I said “I don’t mind getting beaten, but that fake order is just ridiculous.”

Sean “You should be used to faking your wife told me.”

Sean & Ben

Sean “Barman can we stay an extra half an hour tonight please?”

Barman “Why’s that?”

Sean “Coz Ben is just off to reverse his car out of a space.”

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