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Match Report 5th October 2023 v Scoutstoun (home) – West Squash Division 1

Hands up who loves squash 🙋‍♂️

First match of the season and playing West Team Squash with the lads again (James, Chris, Harry, me and Ollie) is as good as I ever remember. As I left for the club I kissed the Mrs good-by and she wished me ‘good-luck’ and I wished her ‘Happy Birthday’!

Scotstoun came calling tonight and that could mean anything with this opposition, but they were missing one or two players this week, so the only question was – ‘could we take advantage?’

You know when you don’t feel ready for the first game of the season, and you haven’t been playing as much as you should? Well experience told me that quite often the opposition think exactly the same as you! (one of the Scotstoun team even admitted “I haven’t hit a squash ball since the last match of last season!”)

First up for us was Chris (Murphy) against Archie Niven. Archie was playing really well and I could see the massive strides he’d made since I’d last seen him; unfortunately you can play as well as you want, but coming up against Chris is a different kettle of fish! When Chris unleashed the ‘Mizuki’ backhand boast in the first game (shot of the night!) you could see he was in charge and that was really the story of the match! Archie played really well, but Chris was just a cut-above and never really looked like he was going to lose (3-0 to Chris).

Next on was me against fellow Whitecraigs LTC member, Craig Rothnie. Obviously, Craig felt confident as he wanted to make this a ‘West League/Whitecraigs Mini-league double-header’! Well, I couldn’t refuse THAT challenge, could I? But at 0-1 down I was wondering if I’d made a good choice. The whole team had advice for me in-between games and they all gave me some golden nuggets that I could work with! So, 0-1 became 2-1 to me and I was wrestling back control of my slow start. Craig was beginning to give me a few more chances and I was more than happy to take them as quickly as possible and managed to close out the match 3-1.

Next up was ‘2-James Singhs’ against Sandy Niven at No.1 – now James & Sandy train together and so this may have seemed that things were tight, but in match-play things can often be very different. To me James looked in control of the match and although Sandy had flashes of brilliance, James was able to nip these moments in the bud and so he won a comfortable match 3-0.

Ollie (Millen) was on next against Jonny Neil at No.5 and as Ollie hasn’t been playing much we wondered if he would be able to stay the course of a tough match. However, we needn’t have worried, as he was largely able to defend the challenging shots and take advantage of the loose balls to create winning positions – so with his new Harrow Spark racket, he brought the tie home 3-0 (I’m glad it didn’t go to 5 games though!).

Last up was ‘The Flashman’ – but without his Flash-Harry golden rackets! Now Harry (Anderson) HAS been on court since last season and his opponent Finlay McGee hadn’t; well Harry is hard enough to beat if you’re training hard, so no massive surprise that he won the tie 3-0 (and the match) and threw in a few Mizukies just because he can’t help not doing them! Great 5-0 win for the team.

Over burgers & chips in the Back-Bar after the match, I said that the best thing about being in this particular team was that the whole group were all still in our twenties!!!?!??!?! It was great to see Jonny and Finn my “ex-David Lloyd West End” team mates (Jonny was even still wearing the old Optical Express DLWE team shirt!). They both asked me who was the longest running Division 1 West League regular? …………………….. is it me?????? Thanks for making me feel really old guys! (note to self – must nip into the petrol station on the way home and get a birthday card! M.W.O.T.M. to Dawn for putting up with me!).


Match Report 15th March 2023 v Western (away) – West Squash Division 1

Last match of the season and a big battle against Western to see who would finish 2nd in the league. It was an away match so James, Chris, Harry and I travelled together through the West End traffic jams, having a great laugh about all things squash (and James’s new hair style, with blond highlights). My car boot took another hammering, as none of them seem to be able to shut it without slamming the hinges of it! “Stop slamming the bloody boot!” is ignored most weeks!

‘Two James Singhs’ calculated that we would need at least 9 points to clinch the runners-up spot in West Division 1, so let’s get into ‘em!

First on was Flash Harry (Anderson) at No.3 against one of his boyhood coaches Martin Woods. Harry decided not to bother bringing a racket along tonight, so a game plan must have been out of the question! Flash gave away a few too many points with ‘tins’ at crucial times – as Martin used all his experience to sneak home and win the 1st game. However, after that Harry really tightened things up, but still kept his fast and attacking play to the fore. With some great length and excellent volleying, Flash made some great inroads into breaking down Martin’s defenses and after 3 tight games he took them all, to get the first 3 points on the board (and only 1 Mizuki in the whole match! Although about 20 in the warm-up!).

Chris (Murphy) took on Scott Hay on another court at No.2 next and was 1-0 up when I started watching. To be brutally honest Chris was never in any danger of dropping a game tonight and he glided about the court in his pink top looking like the Pink Panther stalking his prey. 3 more points to the total.

Uncle Mike (Martin) was on next and having won a challenge match against Ollie last night he was obviously on form. He played a very fast junior making his Div. 1 debut tonight (called Harrison) and he really created loads of problems for Uncle Mike by getting everything back. However, in-the-main Mike was too experienced for the young man and although I thought he could have hit a better length at times he brought the match home 3-1 (with a great comeback from 8-10 down in the 4th to win on a tie break). So Mike secured his 3 points and the match bonus point and so also the Team’s No.2 spot in Div. 1.

2 James Singhs was on at No.1 next v Robert Adams. James had been on jury-duty for the last 10 days so hasn’t been on court his usual 3 times a day! So there were plenty of errors from the man who wants to be know now as Singh-Shady, because of the new hairstyle! (but you can’t choose your own nickname, otherwise everyone would have to call be Jahangir Jase, so he’s got nae chance!!). Anyway, James stumbled over the line in the 1st game, having said that, he always looked like he was just about to win the game! I thought Robert played really well last night; James was just too quick at the crucial times and although I’ve seen him play better, he did what was required to bring the match home 3-0.

Kieran Pole arrived just in time to play against me at No.4, so we went on last. To say a lot of my shots came off last night would be an understatement and I was happy and relieved in equal measure. I’m not sure it was a great game to watch as the balcony emptied pretty quick with only the stalwarts left by the end! Kieran was dangerous at times, but just couldn’t string enough good play together last night and as so, as I said, my shots were going well. There were not a lot of long rallies, but then that usually suits me so I managed to stay in control and bring the match home 3-0.

So pizza and chips (and a team photo) with the Western lads and a great 18-2 win (undoubtedly helped by the Western lads missing a couple of players). Then a trip home to the Whitecraigs Back Bar for another team photo (with Ollie and Hamish) and a second celebration with the other teams (3rd team promotion!) and even Hamish got me a shot of some strange spirit to top off a great season of team squash and a wonderful team spirit.


Match Report 8th March 2023 v Scotstoun (home) – West Squash Division 1

If we thought our team was young (apart from me) then you should see the Scotstoun team!

We were missing our No.1 last night (and also had a late pull out at No.4) so this was going to be a tough one.

First on for us at No.5 was Hamish (Buchanan) v Murdo Mackenzie and although the two had played before it was Murdo’s first match in Div.1 – well it certainly won’t be his last as he dominated proceedings and beat Hamish 3-0 with some very mature squash. Hamish left early and obviously didn’t have any money on him, so I said I’d cover his food money (I’ll never see that £10 again!).

I went on next against Robyn McAlpine and I’d heard very good things about her, so I was slightly anxious about getting chopped!! Unfortunately for me, all the things I’d heard were true and she did chop me in the 1st game. I started to get into the match, in the middle of the 2nd game and sneaked home, but after that Robyn got into a rhythm and I found it hard to get the ball tight enough. Great win for Robyn on International Women’s Day! (at least I can say I got a game off her when she’s a pro squash player on the PSA Tour!).

Next on was Chris (Murphy) v John Meehan at No.1 and I watched Chris get the run-around in the first two games, so I feared the worst as I headed off for a shower. But hey-presto when I came back (20 mins later) the next match was only just starting! Chris had only gone and won the 3rd game – and apparently played some great squash to secure the team point. The final score was 3-1 to John and so Scotstoun took the 3 bonus points for winning the match as well.

Next up was ‘Flash’ Harry (Anderson) v Sandy Niven at No.2 and although Harry has been playing very well in previous weeks, he didn’t seem quite on-it tonight (but maybe that was because of the way Sandy played??!?!?). This match ebbed and flowed, one way then the other, at a furious pace, until we reached the 5th. I was marking so I should really remember more about it, but I think it was really close (tie-break close) in the 5th and Harry just sneaked home 3-2.

Last on for us was Mike (Martin) at No.4 and I’m not 100% sure the name of his opponent as he disappeared straight after the match, but I’ll just guess and say his name was Anastasios! Well Anastasios was all over Mike in the 1st game – but then Mike returned the favour and was 9-0 up before Anastasios even got a point in the 2nd. Much like Harry’s game this one ebbed and flowed a bit as well, but ultimately Mike was just a bit too consistent and brought the match home, adding a much needed 3 extra points to the total.

So 15-8 to the Scotstoun Young Guns and they were so young we had to go to the ‘Front Bar’ for burger and chips.


Match Report 1st March 2023 v Strathclyde Uni. (away) – West Squash Division 1

I’d never played at Strathclyde Uni before, so was looking forward to seeing and playing on these new-ish courts. They were great to play on, with massively high ceilings for my lob-serves! (although they seem to have been put in a corridor without great viewing).

The Uni lads had a decimated team with at least 4 players missing, so it’s going to be a quick match report (spoiler alert) as we all won 3-0 by quarter to nine!

Uncle Mike (Martin) was on first against Tom Barker (Who?) and it was a pretty straight-forward 3-0 with not much to report apart from Mike trying to play five back wall boasts in a row at one point! It was good of Mike to make himself available for the team as he was off to Inverness that night! (now that’s club commitment!)

Flash Harry (Anderson) went on at No.2 next v Archie Ross and the first part of the first game was great to watch, as a much improved Archie went toe-to-toe against The Flashman. But he was doing a lot of running to keep up with Harry and this soon told, and Harry took charge from that point on and after some Mizuki madness, finished the tie off 3-0.

I played Cameron Moss next at No.3 and I noticed that he hit the ball like a bullet on his forehand in the knock-up, so guess where I didn’t put the ball at all! Cam started slowly and I won the 1st easily, but he was a completely different player in the 2nd game and the last two games were much more competitive, but I was always in charge and won 3-0.

Ollie (Millen) went on next at No.4 v Mikel Martinez and this match was much like the others with a 3-0 win for Ollie, but he did come off sweating so Mikel must have pushed him around a bit.

Last on at No.1 was ‘2 James Singhs’ v Andrew Turnbull. Andrew had come to a few of my David Lloyd West End training sessions way back in 2018, just before DL decided that they didn’t want squash members anymore and got rid of the courts. It was nice to see Andrew again, although I didn’t recognize him with a beard!! It was a tough one for Andrew tonight having to chase Mr. Fit about the court. James won 3-0 like the rest of us and as the clock struck 8.45pm we were on our way back to Whitecraigs with 18 points in the bag.

Why were we on our way home, I hear you ask? Well, there was no food or drink on offer from the Uni boys, which I found very disappointing (especially as they were more than happy to have a few pints at the away match). Also, players disappearing before the match had finished, for no good reason either (which was also disappointing) other than they couldn’t be bothered to stay and support – even though others had stayed for them. Even Uncle Mike stayed to the end, and he was off to Inverness after the match!

Still we went back to Whitecraigs and watched other team matches and ordered a pizza for ourselves and had a great night at the club! Followed by team videos on the WhatsApp group with the lads singing on the way home (Ollie was a drunk 50 Cent and James does a mean Brittany Spears – although he is that innocent!).


Match Report 22nd February 2023 v SSRC (home) – West Squash Division 1

February 23, 2023 Leave a comment

So another tough one last night against a very solid SSRC side with Ali Prott at No.1 – and he was 3rd in the Scottish Nationals at the weekend, so that was going to be a tough one for ‘2 James Singhs’ tonight!

Mind you James and Chris (Murphy) also played in the Nationals at the weekend, so there would be some excellent squash on show!

First on at No.5 was Ollie (Millen) v Chris Holt. This was going to be a crucial one if we were going to stand a chance tonight. At 1-1 in games, I thought Ollie looked like he was the man setting the pace, but Chris can get a lot back and he did, so Ollie was finding it tough to break his game down. But he stuck at the task and the game-plan and managed to bring the match home 3-1. Great win from the man in the skintight shorts! (they’re XL!)

Next on was the game of the night as Chris (Murphy) took on Dan Wearing at No.2. Chris started well and looked in control after the first game, however, he opened the door early in the 2nd game and Dan stormed through it…………. with pace! There was a momentum shift right there and as the match went on Dan became more and more dominant. Right up until 10-4 match ball in the 5th game. Well, at that point there was nothing else for it, but to try a few shots and that’s exactly what Chris did! To cut a long story short, a number of amazing shots later (and a couple of mistakes from Dan) it was 10-10 and we were all cheering Chris home! What a come back and no one can deny that Chris was MOTM tonight.

Harry (Anderson) took on Jessie Mills at No.3 next and I didn’t see the first game, but Jessie won it. When I started watching Harry looked in control, so something must have changed! This was a good match, but Harry always looked like he was going to win, and he did 3-1 – securing the ‘bonus match points’ at the same time. A good solid performance from Flash Harry, who is currently trying to get his Flash rackets back via an eBay bidding war (Flash Harry without his Flash rackets just doesn’t look right!).

James (two James Singhs) went on next with Ali Prott at No.1 and to say he was up against it would be an understatement. Having said that if you’re not 100% on it against James he can tear around the court and put anyone under severe pressure – and that’s what happened. James kept getting everything back and Ali made a few uncharacteristic errors, so all of the games were very tight, and James had the lead in at least 2 of them. Unfortunately for us, Ali was just about able to recover these situations, and ended up winning 3-0.

I was on last against Brian Robertson at No.4 and not much to report other than a 3-0 drubbing was handed out by Brian. Chris did his best to get me going and after the 1st game he said (I paraphrase), “Stop doing what you’re doing and try playing normal squash and you’ll give yourself half a chance!” – and he was right! The 2nd game was much better, I even get a game ball, but unfortunately couldn’t convert it, so 3-0 to Brian. (There was an ‘interesting’ decision that didn’t go my way at one point, but Brian put the next return-of-serve into the tin to even things up and it made no real difference to the game………. however, it did animate the match and I don’t think anyone watching was under any doubt of what I thought of the bamboozling decision!)

So into ‘The Back Bar’ for a very tasty casserole, even one particular athlete in the team (who thinks that pizza is a healthy option) agreed that, “the scran was actually delicious.” I even ended up playing a couple of games of pool against club leg-end Alex H and we are now 1-1 in the series up to 100!


Match Report 1st February 2023 v Giffnock (home) – West Squash Division 1

Tough match last night against our neighbors, Giffnock, and we were a man down from the first half, so was this going to be a telling difference….…?

First on was Ollie (Millen) v Niall Morris at No.5 and we had a great chance of winning this one as Niall was heading off to see Ricky Gervais last night so if we could delay him long enough, he would have to concede! Unfortunately both players were ready and raring to go at 6.15pm, so advantage to the fast-running Giffnock man. To be fair, Ollie played well this week, but Niall was just too fit and despite a sniff in the 2nd game at 10-10 Niall always looked like he was going to win……. which he did……3-0.

Harry broke his ultra-shiny racket last week (he loves that racket!) so it was our new man ‘Not-so-Flash-Harry’ on next against Stu Pitt. This was a very interesting match as both players are very fast – Harry in attack and Stu in defense – so we were expecting a good game. And it was a great game for Giffnock, as Stu dominated the play and got all of Harry’s attacks back. Harry got closer in the 3rd and maybe this would have given him a flash of confidence, but it was not to be, and Stu won the tie 3-0.

Chris (Murphy) was on next against Owen Hadden, and it was clear from the start that both men were under the weather – Chris from a bug and Owen from a leg issue, so this probably evened things up a bit. Chris had won the fixture in the first half, so he was the favourite and he lived up to the billing. Chris is probably the last person you want to play if you’re not able to move quickly and change direction, and he was always in control of the tie. I went to warm up when Chris was 2-0 up and he soon brought home the match 3-0 (Owen took one for the team this week – and was later talking about a move down the team order, in the years to come, to not have to play the young guns anymore – I know how he feels!).

I was on next against Ben Mazzucco at no.4 and having lost 3-0 in our last encounter I wasn’t too hopeful. This match was also 3-0 to Ben and despite one of the biggest ‘fishes’ of the season that I’d witnessed, as Ben wrapped his racket round me (at least twice!) to convince the marker of a ‘stroke’ (and he needn’t have worried as it was definitely a stroke anyway), but as I turned my racket upside down and pretended to ‘reel in a fish’ I think we all saw the funny side!

Last up was James (Singh) with a bit of a gargantuan tussle on his hands against Jamie (Hendo) Henderson. Everyone else took a step back from marking this one, so I told the players that I’d do my best, but not to give me any grief! In the first half of the season Jamie had won the tie 3-1 and this match was even tighter tonight, with some real exhausting rallies. For me, this was the best I’ve seen James play and he didn’t let Jamie have any easy passage of play. Jamie was very tight at the back of the court, to take the first two games, but as he tired James got his chance and he sneaked the 3rd game 12-10 (which was probably when his heart-rate monitor exploded at 201 bpm!). Then it was 8-8 in the 4th game and looking like James may take this to a 5th. However Hendo managed to close out the match at that point 3-1, and I think he was delighted not to have to go into that 5th game. Great match and I’d give both men MOTM (although Stu Pitt probably deserved it as well and I’ll take the other MOTM ‘Marker of the Match’ for doing 2 matches!).

So a tough loss to take at 4-15, but thoroughly deserved by a Giffnock side that will be tough to beat by any side. Then into the ‘front bar’ tonight for dinner (as the footie dominated the ‘back bar’) and mince & tatties was the order of the night (and veggie frittatas for James and me – I know…..fancy eh!). Our chef, Vicky, who is allergic to fish, had a close encounter with a trout earlier and I wondered if it had been Ben who was fishing again after our match!!

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Match Report 25th January (Burn’s Night) 2023 v Hamilton (away) – West Squash Division 1

Off to Hamilton last night and this was going to be a real tough one for the Whitecraigs young guns (and me – bringing the average age up to about 40!). So we all met at the club  – Ollie (the Captain), Chris, James and I – for the journey over, although really it was just for the banter in the car!

First on and still looking a bit green around the gills was Chris (Murphy) against Calum Philips. Calum was looking his usual sharp attacking self and immediately took a 1 game lead as Chris looked a bit heavy legged. I went on court at this point, so didn’t see too much more of this one although in-between games I did plot the match progress. At 1-1 I though Chris would pull through, then at 2-1 down I thought he’d run out of steam. But don’t underestimate Chris, he’s a fighter and at 2-2 he was hanging in. I saw a bit of the 5th game, but Calum was serving at 10-9, so I reluctantly went back on court, as it looked inevitable that Calum would win this one. This was tough to take, as I thought if we were going to win tonight it was going to be at No.1, 2 & 3.

In the meantime, I’d thrown away the 1st game (after being 10-7 up!) and scraped the 2nd, against Chris McCutcheon (Tigger to his mates). I’ve played Tigger a number of times, at both squash and racketball, over the years and he’s definitely ahead in the series, so this was always going to be a tough one. He dominated the 3rd game and volleyed really well to pin me back. Tigger played like ‘his top was made out of rubber, and his bottom was made out of springs!’ (or something like that!). The 4th game was closer, but Tigger was in charge now and won the tie 3-1.

Tough to take as I thought that was the team chance lost, however when I was chatting to Chris after, it turns out he’d won his match in the 5th, so we were back in it! (‘bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy. Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!’).

James (there’s only two James Singhs) was on next against Joe Broadley all the way up from Cumbria. This was another potential banana skin, so I got Chris to mark it….. just in case(!) but I needn’t have worried as James was in control of this one. He managed to work Joe in the early stages of each game and then reap the benefits in the latter parts of each game – but he also worked out exactly how to go about doing this and how to neutralise Joe’s play. Joe came back in the early stages of the 3rd, but James soon reacted and snuffed out the danger to win this match and add 3 points to the cause.

Flash Harry (Anderson) was up next against an ever-improving Chris McGeady. This was a great match to watch and exactly what West 1st Division squash should be about – two young players training hard, taking their squash seriously and then going toe to toe on a Wednesday night to slug it out. My money was on Harry, as he was hungry to impress his girlfriend who had come to watch him, and he was spanking the ball so hard he broke his racket in such a whirl of arms and legs, it was difficult to see how he’d done it. At 2-0 up Harry was ‘on-board the showboat’ and this is where Chris took his chance (winning 13-11) as he wrestled the match back to 2-1. Then at 8-8 in the 4th game, this could have been where the whole night was lost for us – but with a final push Flash Harry brought home the tie and took the 3 bonus match points as well.

Last up was Ollie (Captain Millen) against my old squash pal Colin Towers (with his vintage 1980s racket). I went upstairs for a bird’s eye view of this one and I knew that if Colin was as fit as he always is, this could be a tiring night for Ollie. And so it proved, as Colin won the 1st, before Ollie gave everything to clinch the 2nd, with some great ‘holds’ all over the court. However, the fuel gauge was on empty after this and Colin was now in the ascendancy and took the match 3-1.

So a great 3-2 win for the team and 14 more points to our league total. M.O.T.M. for us tonight could have gone to any of the top 3, James for his brains, Chris for for his heart or Harry for being the Tin Man his courage! The leg-end that is Barry Sutherland (who now coaches and works at Hamilton) had organised Erdinger for my dinner, to go along with the great food for the team.

Another banterful trip back to Whitecraigs to watch the end of the 2nd team match and hoover up any extra food that was being offered! Burgers & veggie burgers went down a treat….. well they’re a growing team!

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Match Report 18th January 2022 v Whitecraigs Rugby (home) – West Squash Division 1

I wonder if Fiddy knows he’s our mascot?

Whitecraigs Rugby Club came calling last night and, in the days before, negotiations were in full flow so players could play early so they could watch the old firm matches. It felt like the whole match was played in shifts, with people dropping in and out.

First on (early) at No.1 was James (Singh) v Andrew McBean and Flash Harry took on the marking duties. The match was 3-0 to James and I didn’t see much of it, although during the 3rd game I did hear Harry announce, whilst he was marking, “You don’t make this easy, do you?” so there were obviously a few contentious calls to deal with.

Next on were the No. 5s – as Ollie (Millen) took on Dan Hackley. Ollie was looking solid at No. 5 and I’m not talking about his squash! Having said that, his squash also looked solid last night and the difference between the players was that Ollie had more experience that Dan, so he was able to (largely) dictate the play to his advantage. His points tally was always in a positive position, which allowed him to relax into the game and dictate the play, so a good performance from Ollie and 3 more points to the total.

Chris (Murphy) went on next against Allan McKay at No.2 and was also looking in charge of the match. I’m not sure how to describe a particular shot he played in the 1st game, which was a boast…. whilst facing the back wall……played behind his back….. with the wrong side of the racket! But Chris seemed completely unperturbed with having played it, like it was any other shot that everyone plays! Allan was getting more and more into the match, but at 0-2 down & 4-10 down in the 3rd, I was thinking he may have left this come-back a little too late!! But not a bit of it, as he won the next 6 points to force a tie break! However, Chris eventually realised the danger and ended up stumbling over the finishing line 13-11 (and in-so-doing he’d secured the 3 bonus match points to boot).

Flash Harry (Anderson) took to the court next against Douggie Emery and, although the two of them had been at Whitecraigs Rugby together for years (when Harry’s dad, Matt, was a team stalwart and Harry was just a mini-flash), they had never played a competitive match. Douggie played well, but Harry was moving like a blur at times, and it was very difficult to see how Douggie was going to make too many inroads. The early parts of all the games were all tight, but Harry was just a little too good tonight and won the tie 3-0 (with Mizukis whenever he could manage them…….. obviously!).

I went on last against Colin Hutton who had just marked the last match and was busy ferrying the kids around earlier, so I think I caught him a bit distracted in the 1st game and managed to win that one. Colin was hitting his lefty-forehands like a rocket, so I decided not to put the ball there as much as possible, then when I realised that he was struggling to read my boast, the 2nd game was secured as well. However, the 3rd was a much tighter affair and at 8-7 I needed to significantly tighten up, which I fortunately managed to do to sneak that game and win our match.

So a good 18 points to the team total and into the back-bar for the footie and pasta bolognaise, garlic bread & Erdie for dinner. The lads were in the mood to celebrate the win (and my birthday, the day before!) so myself, John Howie (who had returned triumphant from the 2nd team match) and the lads put the world to rights and James slinked out of the bar as he was off to show off his abbs to a mysterious lucky person!


Match Report 11th January 2023 v Newlands II (away) – West Squash Division 1

Happy New Year everyone!

As Newlands was so far away tonight, Ollie offered to drive me to the match and so I was looking forward to the traditional Newlands pizzas and Erdinger all day!

First on tonight was Chris (Murphy) at No.2 v Dave Morrison. I’d managed to beat Dave in the first half, so I didn’t hold up too much hope for his chances and so when Chris started playing Mizuki’s off the deck, at 2-0 up in the 1st game, I was sure this would be our first win of the night! And so it proved, Chris was dominant and he even got better as the match went on when he started playing a better length. So 3-0 to Chris

Ollie (Millen) took on Euan Allison next at No.5 and this was a repeat of the 1st half match up – Ollie has been training, if you include running to the pub every night! And when I say running, I mean walking!! Having said that Ollie looked to be moving well tonight, and he had to be as Euan loves a run – and he moved Ollie well to go 2-0 up. However, in the 3rd game Ollie got a second wind as he came back from 10-7 down to win 12-10. But the fuel must have been running on empty after that, as Euan won 3-1. A good team point though.

While all that was going on Flash Harry (Anderson) and James (Newlands) Singh – there’s only two James Singhs!  – took the spare court and this was another re-match of the first half. James won last time, but Harry was fired up for this one – alternatively James was still getting over the celebration of a significant birthday! (he only looks about 20, so I was surprised to hear that life is just about to begin for him!!). Anyway the upshot was that Harry was on fire tonight and whenever he saw me watching he swiped at another Mizuki and then grinned at me as if to say, “Put that in your match report, big yin!”. So an easy-ish win for Harry.

I went on against Mick Cockburn next and although I’ve not been playing much over the Christmas period, I have been on court coaching a lot so I felt like I was in shape (round’s a shape!). I think I caught Mick cold last night as I got a great start. Mick was trying to get into a rhythm and I was trying to react to his bullet shots buzzing around the court. But it was my night tonight and I scrambled well to react to the pace and then was able to keep it reasonably tight. So a 3-0 win for me.

Just then Dave Fallis arrived to play James (Whitecraigs Singh) – there’s only two James Singhs! – and I nipped off to have a quick shower, but it obviously wasn’t quick enough as when I came back I only saw the last 2 points. James (as ever) has been training hard and he must have caught Dave unprepared as he won this encounter in double quick time!

So a 4-1 win for the team and 16 points to the total and up to the bar for the aforementioned beer & pizza. The youngsters at one end of the table talking about clubbing and the adults at the other end of the table talking about how to live off 4% on a million quid!

Shortly after most of the lads took the short hop home to Whitecraigs to watch Mike (Martin) win his match at No.1 in the 2nds (v SSRC) with an epic 3-2 victory! And then he also had an epic darts match against Chris!

Let’s hope 2023 brings less viruses and war and more squash…. and darts!


Match Report 7th December 2022 v Western (home) – West Squash Division 1

Missed the Wednesday match reports?!?!?! 😊 Sorry, but I was away the last two weeks and missed the matches (one 3-2 win v Scotstoun & one 3-2 loss v Strathclyde Uni.). Tonight, we faced yet another tough one against Western, but it was a Whitecraigs home match, in da club. The court looked very festive with glittering remnants of tinsel and children’s party on it!

First on was our new man at No.5 Mike Martin v Sam Peacock. Mike (from Inverness! Now that’s commitment to your new club!) was playing his third match for the us, but it was the first time I’d seen him play. Mike looked ‘pained’ after every shot he hit; either ‘quizzical anguish’ when he won a point or ‘pained disaster’ if he lost one – and with the match at one game each, we saw the full range of expressions! But he needn’t have worried, as when he got the ball to a length, his win percentage was very high and as the game went on he did this more and more and took the tie 3-1 (and he looked ‘apologetically distraught’ at winning!)

Next on was the No.2s as Chris (Murphy) had a very tricky one against Steven Halliday. For me, this was the tie of the night, as Steven is an excellent player and so Chris had to be right on it……. and he was! Chris imposed his style on the match from the get-go and was able to neutralise Stephen’s fantastic backhand length with some great movement. Chris was 2-0 up, but Steven was far from finished, as he came storming back 11-8 and was 6-3 up in the 4th game as well. So, would this go the distance? Fortunately for us Chris went on a great run of points at this moment and at 10-7 up he could surely win! Hold on – a few seconds later it was 10-9….. but eventually Chris worked the opening and found the winner to take the match 3-1. Great performance!

I went on next against Martin Woods at No.4. I feared the worst as Matin has traditionally played several levels above me, but if you let me get to 10 points first, I always have a volley in me! So, an unexpected 1st game win gave me (false) hope. Normal service was resumed after that and I lost 3-1, but on reflection it was probably 1 team point gained (and I did play well, especially on the volley).

So as I headed off to the shower (bar) ‘Flash Harry’ (Anderson) took to the court against Scott Hay. When I returned Harry was 2-1 up, but there were two 12-10s in there (both to Harry) so this was obviously a really close one. In the 4th game Harry was dominant, despite trying to lose it every now and again with the odd Mizuki and reverse angle, that put him under more pressure that he’ll probably admit to! However, there was a lot of really great shots as well and he moves like the proverbial whippet! 3-1 to Harry – a key win for the team to bag the extra 3 match winning points (Scott was obviously so distraught he later left all his work clothes at the club!).

So last on was ‘Two James Singhs’ v Peter Halliday. James got a knock last night with a racket hitting the toothpicks he calls legs, so was a late confirmation for tonight – great commitment to the club however! When he took to the court, he certainly looked like he was moving well enough. James had a slow start and at one point, when he played an inexplicable volley into the tin our team manager (Bruce) said “Are you sure it wasn’t his head that was hit, not his knee!”. No one particularly wanted to mark this one, but Chris insisted that Martin do it and when Peter came ‘out of the court’ to complain about something or other, citing P.S.A. rules, I can’t believe that that Martin didn’t evoke P.S.A. Rule 15.3 for leaving the court 😊. The final result was 3-0, but all the games were close and the last game was 12-10. I’ve seen Peter play better, but James certainly moved him well and prevented him from dominating the ‘T’.

An excellent 16-6 team win and we headed to the Back Bar for bangers and mash for dinner (veggie bangers for me). The chat was as great as ever and we’re currently planning out Christmas Night out, which James is trying to duck out of and everyone else is trying to book him for a car-ride home, after James has his usual half shandy followed by ten Irn Brus! So we all headed home and 100 What’s App messages later I went to bed!


Ultralite Weight 135g