Broadberry Sports

Wednesday 28th September 2011 – 1st Team
Absolutely excellent match tonight. Team won 3-2 (14-11)

First up- – I lost to Allan Law 3-0. NO injuries – so cant really complain.

Next up – Ben narrowly lost to the most unorthodox player – in the world. 3-2

Next up – Sara beat Kenny Hardie 3-2. Gutsy performance. Should get so negative about her performance. Good digging.

Next up – Richard beat Andy McCully. Best from Rich for a while, really played well and looked like the pomegranet juice is paying off.

Finally – Doug beat Rosco. Nailbiting match – Doug scraped through, looked confident.

Club temp was in the low 90s with humidity much the same. Not much fun at all. Some well kent faces down there – good bunch of guys – delighted to stuff into them.

MOTM : Doug
COTM : David C

Amcs

Wednesday 5th October 2011 – 1st Team
Excellent win tonight 18-3 against Whitecraigs LT&SC. A good start to season with 32 points after 2 weeks.

In order of play:
5- Ben Mazzucco (double z double c) destroyed Alex Everingham 3 zip – who was heard after the 2nd game saying ‘we are in trouble if that’s their number 5′. Not much to say other than good solid performance from Ben. Good educational focus after his game while other matches were played doing some homework until feeding time (my influence).

4- Lee ‘the the bullet’ Gunn made a long trip back from that island next to Lanzarote that no one can say or spell to look as tanned, muscley and trim as ever (or ‘like a bender’ as young Macmillan put it -think he was referring to the tan in October in Scotland). Squash was a little rusty and even his new trainers (bought especially to star for the first team) couldn’t save him from losing the first to Alistair Ross. Then remembered who he was (DL squash club finalist 2 years on the trot ) and handed out a 3-1 beating. Good stuff and great to see him back in the team. Unfortunately that’s it till after Christmas.

3 – Davie (he is human after all) Craig also turned up looking like a bender (again as Douglas put it) with a full tan and musceles. Unfortunately this fit look was seen through as his opponent (Sandy Barr) made him run around and the 2 weeks of fun in Mexico was starting to take its toll. The first time ever that Davie has looked tired during a game of squash. However true to form, didn’t let that ruin the night and handed out a 3-1. Good digging big stick.

2 – me. Played good enough, but was just simply another step towards a week of fun that starts Friday 7.30 aim. 3-0 win against Ian McDermott.

1 – this was the one that grabbed the attention. How would the young wannabe comedian stand up to John Howie. I was genuinely expecting a 3-2 and thought it might go to John. Douglas had other ideas. He did drop a game but the 3 he won John only got 4, 5 and 7 points. Superb result. It must only be a matter of time before he is able to beat me . Still waiting for the challenge tho. Have phoned Vodafone to make sure there are no undelivered texts from him requested a challenge, but apparently nothing. Showed no committment to his education whatsoever – instead of using the 2 hours he waited around to read Shakespeare / Catcher In The Rye / To Kill A Mockingbird, he handed out abuse to his fellow team mates.

MOTM – Andrew McSherry – best I have seen him play on a Wed for ages.

COTM – Davie Craig – I felt it was unfair he got it last week when he didn’t even play so given it to him this week to make up for it.

Night night (hopefully the young guys in bed asleep and not playing shooting games on the PS3 which I lectured them about).

Richard (a walking good example to the young ones)

Wednesday 5th October 2011 – 3rd Team
At no 5 David Wilson v Bernard Dunn.
I marked this with glasses on. It’s amazing what you can see! You see things others don’t. Nobody argues with 4 eyes. Bernard was up for it, and whilst I thought David played well, he lost 3-1. Did well to get a point.

At No 4 The Colonel v Linda Duncan.
Nice warm courts to my liking but calf injury from an ill advised 10k on Sunday meant I wasn’t charging round the court in normal fashion. Won a game, but worsening calf at end of 3rd meant 4th game was quite a short one. Interesting though, when you cannot move you are forced to paly good shots for a change – might try to learn a lesson there. Lost 3-1.

At 3 Kenny Lumsden v Grant Stevenson (?)
Great to see Kenny turning out for us. But like many of us a bit ring rusty and went down 3-0. Unlucky not to get something out of the tie. I know it is disheartening, but simply by turning out it gives others slightly better chance of points further down, and into lower teams. Importance of this cannot be over-emphasised (that is main reason I played despite injury). Thank you Kenny.

At no 2 Garry Dickson v Douglas
Both ring rusty (if I can say that), Garry especially as he disnae play squash April to Sept. Two elements to Garry’s game Raw Power and Deft Drops – it was the former most in evidence last night. Garry has 3 (no 4) expletives that come out during a typical game of his sqwuash.

1 Ahhh, that’s P*sh! (rising in volume towards final syllable)
2 That’s Sh*te (louder than expletive 1)
3 Ohh, you (big) Diddy!! (normally after faffing a drop)
4 Ohh, you (big) f*nny (again after missing an easy drop)

Expletives 1 & 2 were barely used possibly as lots of females about. Expletive 4 was a new one to my ears. If you get to know his game you can just about guess which exclamation is coming after losing a rally. And if it is expletive 3, you can be certain that next time he gets to serve, it will be a very hard one. I felt particularly sorry for the ball in this game. Garry went down 3-2.

At No 1 Mark Smith v Kerri Nicol
A great game to watch mainly due to quality of Kerri’s squash. She out performed Mark, winning 3-0. Mark came very close in 3rd game losing 18 – 16. One for the 2nd team to look out for later this Autumn.

Col

Wednesday 5th October 2011 – 5th Team
I will keep it short, just like the matches!

In summary we got humped 18-0 so it was not an easy introduction to team squash for 3 new team players, on a positive note it will only get better.

1. Donald MacKinnon lost 3-0 to Dennis Liddell
2. Neil Ross lost 3-0 to Phil Mcfadden
3. Kevin lost 3-0 to Stuart Walker
4. Malcolm Day lost 3-0 to Mark Robinson
5. David McGill lost 3-0 to Alan Currie

Next week will be better.

Food was hot and had not been sitting for a couple of hours! Every cloud does have a silver lining!

Donald

Wednesday 12th October 2011 – 2nd Team
Indisputably underdogs at the outset of this thriller on the Southside of Glasgow, David Lloyd 2 produced some unquestionably industrious performances to run out 3-2 winners against an incredibly unrelenting Newlands 5 side.**

Results, with relevant detailed analysis of individual performances, were :

1. Brien Boland 2 David Ritchie 3. Unambiguously indefatigable.
2. Gordon Wilton 2 Paul Hannah* 3. Undeniably indecisive.
3. Steven Black 2 Mark Smith 3. Unremittingly incessant.
4. John Hazlett* 3 Garry Dickson 2. Irrefutably unlucky.
5. Keiran O’Neill 3 Kenny Lumsden 0. Unfortunately injured.
Final Score 12 : 14.
* Denotes Man of the Match.
**This Match Report is a tribute to the late David Francey.

P

Wednesday 26th October 2011 – 1stTeam
Evening punters.

Strong performance all round tonite from the troops. Ran out 18-2 winners against Townend 2.

Douglas Mac (1) bt John Robertson 3-0. John would not have been able to cope with Dougals ‘class’.

Robert Findlay (aka Slug) (2) bt John Evans 3-1. Didnt see the game – but fairly clinical by all accounts.

David C (3) bt Phil McKie 3-1. Didnt see the game – but fairly clinical by all accounts.

Ben Maz (4) bt Graham Crawley 3-0. Saw the last game- Ben seemed to be phased a lit by Graham’s unorthadox technique (or complete lack of technique) – but stayed focused at the end to wint the 3rd 15-13

Robert Mac (5) beat Steven Gregg 3-0. Some of the best stuff Ive seen from Robert – against some pretty classy opposition (all cheese and no burger someone said). Totally in control of the match from start to finish.

MOTM – Robert. By a mile.
COTM – mmm… controversial I know – Im going to plump for Richard.

nitenite.

Wednesday 2nd November 2011 – 1st Team
Cameron House arrived minus their out and out number one so advantage us, that said we are at least 3 regular first team player down….

In order of play;

1.At 5 Me v Jim Lloyd, Jim was drafted in at the last minute, doesnt play regular squash never mind team squash but showed enough signs that he could do some damage…3:0 to me.

2. At 4 Sara v Gus Mccuaig, just back from holiday Sara had to work her socks off against the very awkward and stuffy Gus, Sara won 3:0 and player of the match, Gus won a remarkable 40 points in defeat 16:14, 15:13, 15:13.

3. Ben v Rolf Hansen, Rolf wins 3:2 in what sounded like a belter of a game (I was marking on other court), good 2 points against a seasoned campaigner.

4. Davie C v Andy McGroaty, great game to mark and watch, Davie played like a man possessed to win 3:0.

5. Last up at 1 Doug M v Alan Barbour, Alan is the kind of player that would have you in bits if you let him, Doug didnt and won 3:0.

A terrific 17:3 victory and must keep us comfortably in the top 3rd of the division.

Ayr away next week

Wednesday 3rd November 2011 – 2nd Team
1. Garry Dickson lost 3-1 to Harry Coughlin.
2. David Wilson won 3-2 against Ian McFarlane.
3. Al Baird lost 3-1 to David Claxton.
4. Kevin Cameron won 3-0 against Gordon McClure.
5. Ramsay Reid lost 3-0 to Graham Reid.

So overall a 14-8 loss.

Garry had a reasonably close game but needs more practice after his summer break from squash.
I took too long to get to grips with my opponents drop shots but lasted five games reasonably well despite jet lag.
Al had a close game but his opponent dealt with Al`s lobs and drops fairly well.
Kevin was man of the match. His speed about the court and cross court drops make him a real handful at this level. He had a fairly comfortable win. With more practice leading to a tighter game, he could move up the rankings quickly.
Ramsay found it difficult to cope with his opponents tight serves, lobs and drops. Still all part of the learning curve.

Next week the 3rd team are at home to Western 4, the 4th at home to Broomhill 2, and the 5th away to Bowfield 2.

Regards

David W

Wednesday 9th November 2011 – 2nd Team
Decent win last night away to Newlands 6.

13:9

1. Me v Bernard Dunn (MOTM), lost 0:3 not my finest hour but BD was fit and quick.

2. Sara v Kerri Nicol, 3:0 win, some good quality squash here, tough first game and thereafter Sara took control.

3. Jason Grinton v Linda Duncan, 3:1 win for Jason and his appearance was much appreciated although I think it came as reminder to him as to why he has hung up his racket on Wed evenings.

4. Paul H v Colin McIntyre, 1:3 defeat, Paul wasn’t given a chance to get going due to Colin’s unique style and experience, good point though.

5. Kenny Lumsden(MOTM) v Douglas McArthur, 2:3 win and was the pivotal game, Kenny looked down and out at 2:1 down with his dodgy knee playing up but he found some reserves from somewhere and came storming back to take the last 2 games and a victory for the team, thoroughly deserved MOTM award, well played.

Kind Regards,

Robert Macm

Wednesday 9th November 2011 – 5th Team
Playing as the 4th Team against top of the table and undefeated Broomhill 2

1. Dr Andrew v Graham Clark – 2-3 loss
Andrew played extremely well in a close match – good retrieving and running but his opponent just had the edge on him

2. Mazz v Alastair Pickard – 0-3 loss
Carrying a bicep injury and not being able to hit a hard forehand I resorted to “floaty droppy crap” as Kev put it and the 2nd and 3rd games were close 21-19 & 16-14

3. Zahir v Dennis Liddell – 0-3 loss
Close 2nd and 3rd games did not see muck of this match but Zahir needs to get on court a bit more – like the rest of us!

4. Br Bob – Phil McFadyen – 0-3 loss
Bob was lat on despite being first to arrive and wanting away early. The battle of the belly’s with Bob losing out to bigger belly Phil who had just become a grandfather that morning.

5. Malcolm v Alan Currie – 0-3 loss
Malcolm needs to play more squash as he was very rusty.

Had we had the proper 4th team out Broomhill were beatable and DLWE 4 would
be close to the top of the division….. I have a dream!!!!

Regards,

David Mazz

Wednesday 23rd November 2011 – 1st Team
Good solid 16 3 win against Strathgryffe 2 tonight.

At 5, Sara lost 3 1 against a young guy who was very good technically. Good game to watch (and mark) and closer than 3 1 suggests. Sara did well to win third after 2 0 down and unlucky not to take 4th. Andrew was their deserved man of the match.

At 4, Young Mazza dished out a 3 zip drilling. A quick ‘on, 3 zip, off’ effort. No messing. Good win. Think it was a result of him getting himself in the zone pre match with some One Direction up full blast on his Ipod.

At 3, Davie (sporting a more hairy tache this week until he did his post match groom which really sharpened things up around the chin). Hard shift against a decent female who was good technically. Also clearly been coached. Not enough to overcome ‘The Big Handsome’ tho who won 3 zip.

At No.2 I was nervous about playing Rambo knowing his unortodox style could add to my woes from last week. He turned up his usual ‘colourful’ self and asked for let after let after let – and obviously pointed out to the marker when he was expecting a stroke! I did however win 3 – 0. Nice guy, just doesn’t like losing.
Oh nearly forgot. Frank actually asked for a let in-between rallies at one point – apparently to advise the marker he wasn’t going to be ready. I have never seen that before (even at Ballyearl!!).

At 1 Douglas handed out another demolition against their No 1 who is very tidy player. Also a bit of arguing on this game around lets which douglas got involved in a couple of times to avoid being left out. Didn’t need to bother as never going to lose.

COTW – no home team award

QOTW – a self nomination (similar to Andy last week) from me with ‘I love watching you eat’ to DC. I have never seen a man prepare a baked potato for chilli in such a manner before. Obviously no stranger to a baked tattie with chiili.

A one off award for Late Arrival of The Week (LAOTW) – an award which is built into Dave Ritchie’s house as we never thought anyone would ever beat him – goes to AMCS – turned up as we all headed for the showers. Never saw a shot. Good to have his chat after the match tho.

Night night

Wednesday 23rd November 2011 – 3rd Team
Got there early as I was playing No 5, and had to get away for 8.30 tennis game. Smithy was already there playing No 5 for 2nds also playing Western (4ths). He said he thought he saw Robert Macmillan’s car outside – I said I thought he was marking a 1st team game before wondering across.

But, we made our way up to the “viewing corridor” to see the big man already working up a sweat. It took us a few seconds to work out that he was playing in the wrong match, against the no 2 in the 5ths, rather than 4ths. Looked like a close first game!!! I read a few times RM using the T word when others do silly things such as D Craig arriving at the wrong Whitecraigs. But this is surely the first time anyone has actually started a game against the wrong team. But I wouldn’t want to use that word.

I then went on court and like every match but one this season the score was 3-1, but this time I managed to come out on top. Much happier playing further down the order. I then legged to to DLWE for tennis, but before tennis I rushed to the squash courts to inform of Robert’s mistake. Quote of the week a text from son to Dad “you played the wrong team, you Fanny”

Meanwhile form man Kevin Duracell lost 3-1 at No 4. Kenny Lumsden lost 3-0 at No 3 and the teuchter Al Mackenzie who I thought might be rusty won 3-0 at No 2! Robert must have tired him out!

I got back in time to see Garry Dickson play the decider at No 1. He lost 3-0 in my red swimming trunks which his big sweaty arse managed to squeeze into. I expected them back next week suitably laundered but instead he return them wet soaked in shampoo saying he was off to Malawi on Friday, and thought i’d like to see them before Xmas.

So a 13-7 defeat for the team. As only 2 of us stayed for supper our hosts thought they could manage with 2 pizzas rather than 3. But they didn’t bargain on someone from another match pinching a slice! Their number 2 was suitably alarmed when he only managed to get 1 slice. Who was it? Well Robert Macmillan playing 1 and a quarter matches could not wait any longer, and found this way of continuing his connection with our game.

Col.

Wednesday 23rd November 2011 – 5th Team
Quick one as heading to Far East for a meeting shortly (Edinburgh).

I don’t have the actual teams sheets as passed them to Maz to enter on website however not very difficult to forget scores – no matter how hard I try. Opponents names however are another matter?!?!?

In Team position order:

CP v Dan ? I lost 3-0. Played crap. Couldn’t hit a straight, decent length drive down wall, too many mistakes and rushed shots. Should have been able to beat this guy.

Piotrek v ? Lost 3-0 however just coming back to playing team squash (or just to coming back to playing squash in general). Think he’ll admit himself that he has put on a bit of beef. Bit of play and sure he will be back to his usual self.

Donald v Alison?? Lost 3-2. At least got us 2 points and avoided a total granny! Didn’t see match as i was on other court. Better than the rest of us!

Malcolm v Charlie Lost 3-0 From what I saw of this Malcolm put up a decent fight but not enough to match Charlie.

Michael v ? Michael’s first ever team squash match and it was over in a flash……. or should I say a crack. He was 1-6 (roughly) down in first match and jumped to intercept a lob and cracked his ankle. Had problems with it in past when he dislocated it a few years ago therefore was game over and a 3-0 walkover to opponent. Hopefully ankle ok and will be back to play again soon. Better get ankle sorted soon!

Poor night all round.

Anyway – no great quotes last night therefore here are some one liners to cheer us up after a poor night of squash: (no prizes for guessing who is the author of the quotes below!!!)

• I had a tragic childhood. My parents never understood me. They were Japanese.

• The boat was so old; it must have been launched when Long John Silver had two legs and an egg on his shoulder.

• I drew a gun. He drew a gun. I drew another gun. Soon we were surrounded by lovely drawings of guns.

• I dreamt I was forced to eat 25lbs of marshmallows. When I woke up, my pillow was missing.

• My girlfriend’s a redhead, no hair, just a red head.

• A neighbour put his budgerigar in the mincing machine and invented shredded tweet.

• I got up this morning. I like to get up in the morning; it gives me the rest of the day to myself.

• She had been married so often she bought a drip-dry wedding dress.

• I was walking along the road. I knew I was walking because one foot was following the other. A car drew up beside me and stopped. The driver opened the door and asked me if he could give me a lift. I replied that I didn’t need a lift as I lived in a bungalow.

• I knocked and the woman opened the door in her night dress. I thought to myself at the time what a strange place to have a door.

And before you say it……….YES the old ones are the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Regards,

Craig P

Wednesday 30th November 2011 – 2nd Team
When Harry met Sara….

The seconds paid their annual pilgrimage to Whitecraigs tonight to meet their second team. Scores, in reverse order, were :-

5. Ian Mcfarlane 0 Kevin Cameron 3
4. Fred Laing 2 Mark Smith 3
3. Tim Ross 0 Paul Hannah 3
2. Colin Hanbidge* 3 David Ritchie 0

Pick of the matches was last up, in the shape of veteran campaigner, Harry Coughlin against the youthful and energetic Sara McDonald. Sara bounded on to court, very much up for the game. Harry wheezed in, looking every one of his 130 years.

This latest remake broadly followed the theme of the original 1989 release : can a man and woman ever truly be friends…………… where there is a significant age gap.

The game got under way. Harry was slow, but effective, and took the first 15-12. But Sara was back on court quickly, ready for the next one. After the statutory 10 minute break, Harry wandered in, presumably remembering he was playing in a squash match. After some quality rallies, Sara prevailed, and took the second.

But she was clearly becoming frustrated by the pace of play. Harry was taking so much time between points that the marker was by now on to his fourth pint of Trade Winds. The pace, or lack of it, seemed to get to Sara, and Harry again found himself one up. Sara asked for a time check between games. But no one the gallery had a sundial.

By the fourth Harry was moving slower than Riff Raff in the Rocky Horror Show. When he came onto court, spectators swore they heard the door creak. Sara stepped it up and took the game decisively.

Two all. By the start of the fifth, Harry was so decrepit, he made Bruce Forsyth look like Graham Norton. But the game was good and the quality of squash high. Sara won. And was pleased. And relieved. And managed not quite to fall out with her ancient adversary.

Final score Harry Coughlin 2 Sara McDonald 3.

And solution to the film’s conundrum? Well, depends who you listen to. Harry: ‘No’ (for obvious reasons). Sara : ‘No’ (‘I could never be friends with someone whose birth certificate has expired’).

Overall score DL W/E 15 Whitecraigs 7

Quote of the night : ‘ Harry, that’s last orders’.

*Denotes tonights star performers.
PH

Wednesday 14th December 2011 – 1st Team
A win 12 9 tonight at Broomhill tonight. Given how tight it is a top of league might not be enough to see us in 2nd at the turn.

At 5 ben had good 3 1 win against the guy who used to play at Whitecraigs LT&SC.

At 4, snail beat him self by continually aiming for the tin.

At 3, DC got pumped 3 0 by the Chilliman

At 2, I just beat the tennis guy 3 2 who digs out everything.

At 1, douglas won 3 0. Good first game but the rest easier.

Just looking at the league its hard to tell who will be 2nd behind ayr. Hopefully us but not convinced.

Hopefully we are in strong enough position to provide good platform for good 2nd half and win a promotion spot.

COTW – a tie between (i) Douglas for his new back pack; (ii) snail for managing to beat himself without involving his opponent; and (iii) DC for getting beat by a guy who was making chilli at the time which he was stirring inbetween games.

QOTN from the Chilliman who shouted through to a dejected DC as we all sat at the table:

CM: hey Davie
DC: yes, what is it
CM: you might be good at modelling but your shi*e at squash!

Hope everyone has a good christmas and new year. Bring on the first match of 2012.

Ps special mention to douglas who I am sure was getting filmed for a programme of Man versus Food. Had 2 massive plates of chilli and rice at Broomhill and for dessert had a plate of thai green chilli and rice back at DLWE. I would suggest Rob leaves the bathroom window open all night

Wednesday 14th December 2011 – 3rd Team
A positive end to the year! A big 13-9 win for DLWE 3 against Newlands 5. However, not without much excitement and some controversy.

At 4 – Graham Sanders kicked off against a Kieren O’Neil. GS never really settled throughout the game. Could have, and probably should have won. An off day with 3/15, 11/15, 10/15. A 0-3 loss at game 1.

At 5 – Myself, played okay against a Roy Nicoll. A mixed bag of shots yet again! However, a win nevertheless. 16/14, 15/9, 14/16, 15/13. A 3-1 win at game 2.

At 3 – The Duracell rabbit had already kicked off on court 3 against a John Hazlett. Again, another scenario of could have / should have. 10/15, 7/15, 15/7, 9/15. A 1-3 loss at game 3. Make sure the battery’s fully charged for next time.

At 2 – Kenny Lumsden had a good game after losing the first. He sorted himself out and fought back for a big 3-1 win (9/15, 15/11, 15/6, 15/8). All about the length Kenny…

At this point it was all square at 2 games a piece and all down to Mark Smith at No.1 to give us the win. A few pre-match exchanges were made between himself and opponent Gordon Wilton. One I recall was Mark saying something along the lines of ‘I am playing the old man’ with Immediate retaliation from Gordon by taking the first game (9/15).

Psychological warfare still continued and likely played a key role in the outcome of this game with both players giving each other some verbal abuse, but with most directed at the Colonel who swiftly took action. One occasion that stood out was the Colonel saying (after have given a stroke), ‘I gave you the stroke didn’t I? So shut up then’. Apologies from both players then came streaming in. Colonel in command.

So excitement to the very end both on and off the courts. A close finish, but Mark picked up his game and succeeded with a good 3-1 win (9/15, 15/12, 15/6, 15/11) to provide the 3rds with the first win of the season! Good finish to the season, but this has to continue (and will!) if the 3rds have any hope of avoiding relegation.

Onwards and upwards.

Ramzy

Wednesday 11th January 2012 – 1st Team
Unfortunately a loss for the 1st team tonight at home to Townend.

I was held up at work and so asked the Squashfather (Rob Mac) to look after things until I arrived since he would be down watching. He diligently turned up at half 6 and got everything sorted ready to go. I was surprised when I turned up at 7.20 to learn not one match had started. Townend were refusing to play on court 1.

Anyway Andy Maculley had no probs and wanted to get on whatever court was free as he was here to play Division 2 squash. We had a good match and it was pretty even but Andy was putting too much down at front left resulting in a 3 1 win for me.

Meanwhile, court 2 had become free and John Turner was having a ding dong with Danny. Presumably the court met Danny’s strict specification requirements and he won 3 0.

Next up was Doug Mac against Colin Wilson, a new Townend recruit from down south and a healthy addition to their team. Looked very good and Doug lost the first 11 15. However, Doug did brilliantly and came bad with a strong 3 1 win. Good effort. Colin was a fine loser and never had any complaints about the court.

Next up was Allan Law v Young Ben. A fine gentleman is Allan. Nice first game and he took it 15 8. No complaints, moans etc. However, in the second he asked for a let, fishing for a stroke yet again, and I awarded a let since Ben was clearing the ball. Allan was outraged and kept moaning and moaning. I made a simple observation that it was similar in nature to him awarding a let in my game. He misinterpreted this as me saying I was making a consequential decision based on his marking of my match. Hardly, I like to think I am a bit more genuine than that. Anyway, Allan won eventually 3 1 by playing some decent stuff. Even apologised to me after saying he realised he was out of order.

At this point it was 8-7 to Townend who are the team behind us in the league.

So it all came down to The Big Handsome v Ross Allan. A fantastic battle. Must have started about 8.45 and they were still on court as the bar was formally shutting at 10pm (the agreement to stay open until 11 on a Wed was obviously only applicable in 2011!). Davie was doing his usual game and frustrating his opponenet while playing some nice stuff. Managed to get 2-1 up but unfortunately lost 3 2.

So Townend won 11 9 and with the 3 bonus points made it 14 9. A well fought victory for them – can’t take that away from them.

PS Mazzuco pulled me up for only giving Ben a let after he turned saying that turning only applies off a serve. Have checked on the internet and no mention of that. As far as I knew, it was any shot where you turn. Can anyone clarify??

PPS although the bar was formally shut at 10pm, the girsl did helpfully stay open a little later which was aprreciated. The food was also good so thanks for DL for that.

Cheers

Really? I though the turning is only for the serve and says that if the ball hits you’re opponent then you lose the rally. Turning during the rally is a different rule? No?

OK, I see that rule 4 applies to both the serve and open play, however your assertion that “If you turn and hit the opponent, you lose the point, period.” doesn’t appear to be correct as G4 states “Referee shall award a stroke to the opponent, unless the opponent made a deliberate movement to prevent a good return reaching the front wall, in which case the Referee shall award a stroke to the striker.”

I think my understanding was right as it’s also not an automatic let on turning (I was really referring to the appeal process, as I take it for granted that if you’re unsighted and hit your opponent you lose the ralley – I know I didn’t say that!)

According to 9.2 – If the striker turns:
9.2.2.2 – the striker may, before striking the ball, out of fear of hitting the opponent with the ball, stop and appeal. The Referee shall award a stroke to the striker, if deciding that the opponent did not make every effort to avoid the interference on turning (*G5)
(so presumably running to the ‘T and just camping there?)
9.2.2.3 – the striker may, before striking the ball, out of fear of hitting the opponent with the ball, stop and appeal. The Referee shall not allow a let, if deciding that the striker could not have made a good return regardless of the interference.
(bit harsh!)
9.2.3 – the striker may, before striking the ball, out of fear of hitting the opponent with the ball, stop and appeal. The Referee shall not allow a let if deciding that the act of turning was to create the opportunity to appeal rather than an attempt to return the ball.
(who does that?!?)

(*G5 – if the opponent had ample time to clear but made no effort to do so, or deliberately moved thereby creating the interference, the Referee shall award a stroke to the player).

Wednesday 18th January 2012 – 2nd Team
We let big Bob down with 17 – 4 defeat. But We all could have and should have, and even deserved better than the results.
At 5 I lost 3 – 1 to Robert Steel, my usual result. Could make excuses but Jason, when suits for a lesson? Need to work on front of court craft.
At 4 Kenny Lumsden lost 3 very close games to Alan Gregg , all of which he could have won.
At 3 Kev C had the tables turned on him by good performance from young Harry. Outplayed – even his ridiculous amount of running could not help him.
At 1 Paul Hannah was playing well in my view against Dave Golding. Deserved more than 3 – 0 defeat. Finally, a classic case of attrition from the electrician, with a 3 – 2 win over Steven McCormack. A good man to have in your team.
Colonel

Wednesday 18th January 2012 – 4th Team
Sadly a 6-17 loss but a good battling performance all round

1. Craig v Jaco Ferriera 0-3, 13-15 score line in all 3 games could
easily have gone either way, did not see any of Craig’s game as I was on
court at the time. His opponent go MOTM for forgetting his shoes, but made
it back to beat Craig before I finished my match

2. Mazz v Ian Gault 3-2 win very close game had everything in it but
the kitchen sink, 2 broken rackets (only strings), ball in the face (me just
under the eye) off a back corner boast, blocking, serving down on match ball
and some shocking refereeing from Donald!! At least I won and MOTM for my
efforts – sore legs today

3. Kevin v Ray Small 1-3, Kev got off to a good start and won the
first then the wheels came off. Rallied in the 3rd game losing 11-15 but by
then the tank was empty and Kevs tank grows weekly on beer!

4. Donald v Brian Cunningham 1-3. Another close game that could easily
have gone our way on another night. Serving out twice on game ball in the
same game does not help!

5. Dr Bob v Norrie Macmillan 1-3. Bob got off to a good start against
an awkward leftie and then lost the next 3 games by a few points. Bob used
up too much precious energy have a game with Craig before the match, playing
tennis and swimming, no time for work these days!

Food was OK, bar was open Mr Wilson got trapped on court 1 when the back
wall support bracket cracked and the door jammed shut. He need to stop
boasting himself off the glass!

Over and out.

Regards,

David Mazz

Wednesday 25th January 2012 – 3rd Team
18 – 1 loss for 3rds at giffnock with ramzy Ross getting a game.

Wednesday 1st February January 2012 – 4th Team
Good win at Glasgow Uni last night 15-3

1. Ramzy v Sharkir (MOTM) – 0-3 loss. Sharkir (Sharkey to his team
mates) made Duracell look like he was on ordinary alkaline batteries. Fast
about the court great volleying skills. Not much squash finesse, nearly took
Ramzy’s head off at one point, never dropped but just kept running. Close
score in the games only 8 points in it

2. Andrew A v David Ellis – once Andrew got to the correct university
having been to Strathclyde convincing 3-0 victory

3. David Maz v Sarah Iveson – 3-0 solid performance result never in
doubt

4. Craig P v Josh Bain – 3-0 Comfortable win for Craig

5. Donald (MOTM)v Ian Chalmers – 3-0 win Not one of Donald’s best
performances but good enough to win

Back to winning ways for the 4ths

Regards,

David Mazz

Wednesday 8th February January 2012 – 2nd Team
The second team returned from the Badlands of North Ayrshire (ie A Townend Called Malice) having suffered a 15 – 8 defeat.

Dave R lost 3 – 0, didn’t see it as was late (dodging the snipers on the roof – jeez, first time I have ever been there)

Kev ‘Duracell’ Cameron won 3 – 1 – great result – not sure if it’s his first outing in the seconds, but he did a fine job and will undoubtedly continue to improve as court craft develops – great effort.

Smithy lost 3 – 1, having won the first 15 – 1 ( think got to 13 – 0 before his opponent got a point, so close to that elusive ‘granny’) and totally cruising before his opponent managed to get out of neutral .

Douglas lost 3 – 1 to Billy – the guy with a bullet like whip crack away forehand and – Douglas was very close, think that two of the games he lost went into “two clear”

I won 3 – 2, having got 2 – 0 up before hitting the mental ‘off’ button, nearly getting grannied myself in the third (he got to 13), but managed to awake from my slumber just in time to take the decider. Must keep concentration. I think that the arrival of the pizzas during my match and the waft of a deep and crusty meat feast ultimately put my opponent off more than me.

On the pizza point, Smithy put in a fantastic performance on the four seasons cheese – destroying the opposition with a 5 slices to 3 victory.

We came away with 8 points and every soldier managed to make it home out of no mans land.

Have a good day

JT

Wednesday 15th February January 2012 – 1st Team
Absolutely brilliant win tonight for 1st team against top of the table ayr.

Easy to see how they are top of the table. And that was them with a player out.

However, the first team guys put in by far their best team performance of the season so far:

In order of play:

At 4, ben was 2 0 down and came back to win 3 2 against dave morrison. Absolutely superb result to kick us off. I only saw 4th game as they started early. Looked like he was playing top oif his game. Apparently slow start but then coming back from 2 nil down makes his performance even better. The nominated home player of the match

At 5 big bobbie got beat 3 0 by robert summerville. Didn’t see any of his game but think he was pipped at the post in all 3. Made up for it after with some fine marking, drinking, eating and chatting. Surely a strong contender for ballyearl – team captain obviously.

At 3 I won 3 1 against alistair meldrum with a groin injury and a cold. My man of the match

At 2, Davie Craig played probably the best squash I have ever seen him play – against scott bradford. Used his brain, his fitness, touch and good looks all in one match. Amazing. He even asked for a stroke when it was actually a stroke. At 2 matches to 1 up this was the one that could give Ayr their first defeat of the season and DC pulled it out. Let himself down after the meal by only having 2 portions of lasagne. Balanced it up with no salad. Never been in the golden arches with him but bet he does the ‘chips first’ techinque.

Last up was young doug against euan allison. It was now about points and the young pretender delivered. Convincingg 3 0 but very tight game. both players made it a good game to watch and mark. Can’t wait to play doug in a competitive match now. Reckon he might take a couple of games off me.

So 15 6 to DLWE.

Well done all. this was a very good win and hopefully we can keep it going for rest of season.

Night night

Wednesday 15th February January 2012 – 5th Team
Good win last night for 5ths.

Quick summary below as lots of insurance broking things to deal with today!!!

Craig P v Ronnie Barron 3-0 WIN
First two games were 16-14 however I’ve been on wrong end of similar scores in past few weeks. Thought I played well – consciously trying to keep it simple and it seemed to work I was happy!

Kevin Reilly v Craig ? 3-1 WIN
Well done Kevin. Hope knee ok as you took a bit of a tumble when your opponent tried to rear end you at match point!!

Donald McKinnon v Brian ? 2-3 LOSS
Unlucky Donald ! – went 2-0 down and fought back to 2-2 surviving several match points to win 4th 16-14. On another night could have been 3-2 to you!

Malcolm Day v Fraser ? 0-3 LOSS
Convincing win for Fraser. During food afterwards Malcolm put his tiredness down to having had a bit of a late night on Valentines night….He told me about the Lobster he cooked and the wine they quaffed however, thankfully, did not expand on that!!

Gregor Murray v Andy Mansell 3-1 WIN
Well played Gregor – 100% record in West of Scotland Leagues. Gregor lost first game however came back to win 3-1. Good performance for our young new recruit making his debut!!!

All in all a good win.

Regards,

Craig P

Wednesday 22nd February January 2012 – 2nd Team
It was downstream, but not downhill tonight for the band of brothers that is the number twos as we went off to see Craig and Helen (what a lovely couple) and came back with a 16 – 7 victory.

I arrived just in time to miss all the other matches, and somewhat worried by the number of The Muppets posters I passed en route which I was convinced was an omen for the nights events, but thankfully it was not.

First up was Douglas Cardiff who went down 3 – 1 to Dave ‘shorts’ Strickland (12 – 15; 10 – 15; 15 – 11) Douglas had to leave at 2 – 1 down, conceding the final game, as he had an important delivery on for work – hats off though for turning up and bagging the point.

Next ‘lightning’ Kev ‘Duracell’ Cameron beat Rab McGinley 3 – 0 (15-13;19-17;15-2) – nice work by the speed master !!

Then our very own Mark ‘Smiffy’ Smith beat Shaun McDonald 3-1 (9-15;15-3;15-9;15-5) – get in !

Paul Hannah had the match of the night beating Chris Bowman 3-2 (19-21;15-8;15-7;14-16;15-9) – tight as a nats, with Paul bringing that bacon home. Both Paul and Chris got MOTM. Magic darts.

So that’s when I struggled in , having been up and down the Helensburgh road several times looking for the damn place ( more Muppets posters), maintained composure just enough to beat Steve Graham 3-1 (15-10;15-13;9-15;17-15). Quite pleased with that, although the pale pink and blue walls in that place somewhat give the impression of playing inside a Battenburg cake.

All round a very decent evening then for the seconds – good work guys…….but please no more Fozzy Bear posters……….

Night all

JT

Wednesday 22nd February January 2012 – 4th Team
1 Craig v Craig Southern 3- 1 Good comfortable win for Craig, lost the first but then settled down to long controlled rallies which his opponent struggled to keep up with. MoM for Craig. Noted some ballerina moves from Craig getting to drop shots.Weird.

2 Me v Liam Grimshaw – 1-3 Unforunately I Started slow (standstill) so lost the first game. Quickly accelerated to a controlled hobble and won the next. My opponent knew what to do with the ball ,and, although he worked for it, won the next two with my legs giving up early in the 4th. Deserved win for Liam and MoM.

3 Neil R v Phil Leak 0-3 Neil went on same time as me so did’nt see match, first two games were close though. Neil still learning Team squash in his first season ,so doing fine. Both players did a great job of giving Malcolm a marking course, although I don’t think Malky noticed..

4 Big Donny v Ian Gibson 3 -0 Match just over when I arrived, so cant comment, and ,although the big Man was sweating a lot, seems to have been a comfortable win.

5 Malcolm v Dougie Sinclair 0-3 Once again Mad Malky turns out for the team at the last moment, phoned by the Maz at 1630. As usual did his best, but not playing enough, so comfortable win for Dougie. Point of note : Malcolm turning to support Team Squash at this age, (just like Uncle Bill) is pretty damn good. Lets keep an eye on his matches.

Overall Score 7-13.

KR

Wednesday 14th March 2012 – 2nd Team
Cracking match tonight against our 3rd team, always interesting to see how well the lower team play on these occasions, determined to give their seniors a lesson while at the same time the senior team tend to relax assuming victory is inevitable….dangerous combo!!!

Final score 18:8 to us but battle scars all over the place.

Too many incidents to comment on but important to note I won man of the match and rightly so, a commendable performance with the first of my handful of lagers on board!!

Western away next week for our final match…pizza or Chinese and then i suspect Oranmore!!

Kind Regards,

Robert Mac