Wednesday 22nd February 2012 – 1stTeam
Well Whitecraigs Rugby tonight and a match we really hoped to win, but they went away with the points.
All three courts were in use, so I didn’t see all the matches. First on was Jason (Lang) v Matt Anderson at No.4. This is one I didn’t see, but Jason won the 1st game, before Matt came back strongly to win the next three. All the games were 8s and 9s so a tough match, but one up to WC.
I was marking the No.5’s Gordon (Smith) v Archie Pollok. Now it’s fair to say that Gordon didn’t like Archie’s game; it was too short and clinical for Gordon, who was looking for a 45 minute run. Gordon was frustrated with the lack of rallies and whenever he played a lose shot he didn’t follow up, so Archie could play a winner without any pressure. Now don’t get me wrong there were flashes of great play from Gordon, a fabulous width & length on the backhand drive (at times) lovely cross-court volleys (on occasions) and the odd cross-court drive winner. However these were not joined-up enough and despite being 7-9 in the 1st and 5-0 in the 2nd Archie dominate the rest of the match (11-7 11-5 11-6). In the bar after Archie said as much, when he commented “I won the short game with my soft shots.” And Gordon replied
“You also won the middle and the back games as well!”
Kev (Moran) was also on the other court at the same time (so I didn’t see this one either) against the up and coming James Wilson, but it didn’t matter how up and coming he was tonight Kev was just too strong – although James did get 9 in the 2nd game – 11-4 11-9 11-4. This will be a good clash in the future no doubt.
I was on next against Nairn McMaster. This was controversial, but I suppose it was the fact that both Nairn and I have similar games and were always destined to get in each other’s way; and in contrast to that the refs were very different sorts of players who maybe see things differently.
Time after time I was getting bewildering (I use the word advisedly)’ no let’ decisions. In the end I thought just give up arguing and play. So I did and that was probably the worst decision I could have made. I know I have a bad reputation for arguing on court and I should really try and just get on with it, but every bad decision that went unchallenged the marker must have thought it was OK to give the same again.
I said to Nairn that if the marker thinks I can’t get the ball I have to show more effort and this may involve a bit of pushing and I wanted to apologise in advance. So I made no further comments to the umpire, but when Nairn was directly between me and the ball I made 100% effort to show that my opponent ‘was the interference’ and I was going directly to the ball and would have got it. This involved a lot of pushing and shoving and it certainly must have showed the marker something as I started getting a few lets.
Well inevitably Nairn had had enough of the pushing and at 4-3 he told me so in no uncertain terms. A point later I conceded the tie (and the match) as there is no way I wanted to carry on in this way if I was going to fall out with a decent guy like Nairn over a squash match when tempers were high. In retrospect I really feel I let the team down, but I’m also not sure what else I could have done (other than just lose every other point with a whimper –pride would not have let me do that).
Dougie (Kempsell) was on last v Dougie Emery at No.2. I missed the first two games as I was on court, but (our) Dougie seems to have been in control of these at 11-4 11-2. However a good fighting performance from (their) Dougie gave him a game ball in the 3rd (with a rolling nic off a boast!) but he wasn’t able to convert this and (our) Dougie won the game 12-10 and the match 3-0.
So an early night and hopefully no bad feelings as we all had a pint and some food in the bar after. Then off home to write this 2nd draft of the match report!
Well as there was nothing too comical to report on tonight’s game here are some jokes!
1) While attending a Marriage Weekend, Ken and his wife, Janet, listened to the instructor declare,
‘It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.’
He then addressed the men:
‘Can you name and describe your wife’s favourite flower?’
Ken leaned over, touched Janet’s arm gently, and whispered, ”It’s Homepride, isn’t it ?”
And thus began Ken’s life of celibacy …………….
2) A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?”
“No, I had to stop drinking years ago,” the homeless man replied.
“Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?” the man asked.
“No, I don’t waste time fishing,” the homeless man said. “I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.”
“Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?” the man asked.
“Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless man. “I haven’t played golf in 20 years!”
“Well,” said the man, “I’m not going to give you money. Instead, I’m going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.”
The homeless man was astounded. “Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that?
The man replied, “That’s okay. It’s important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and golf .”
Wednesday 22nd February 2012 – 2nd Team
The seconds were at Wishaw last night and having suffered a 5-0 drubbing in the first half, we were not travelling with much optimism. On arrival, it seemed that the recent mild weather had been ignored by the person in charge of the heating controls as the viewing gallery was oppressively hot. Down on the courts, it wasn’t much better. Andy was on at 5 against Paul Eley at the same time I faced Bobby Cameron at 4. The hot court just didn’t suit my game and Bobby adapted much better to the conditions and I was always chasing this one. I went down 3-0. In contrast, the warm court would have suited Andy and I heard that he was making a comeback. As I went back up to the sauna to have a look, his match had finished and he had lost 3-1.
We then had the daunting, if not impossible, task of winning the last 3 matches. First to try was Henry who was up against Norman Paterson. We had the unusual sight of Norman taking a carton of milk on court with him which he drank between games. He claimed that a study had proved that milk was the best thing you could put in your body after exercise, better than Lucozade Sport, even better than beer. Someone suggested it had been in the Woman’s Realm but it was more likely to have been Farmer’s Weekly. I don’t know what Norman puts in his body before games but it certainly does the business. Henry found himself in the same position as me as he never got to grips with the court or Norman’s game and lost 3-0.
So with the match lost, Colin had only pride to play for against Martin Bradshaw at 2. Martin had edged the first match at Lloyds 3-2 so this might have been expected to be another close one. It didn’t look like it at first as Colin established a good lead but Martin stormed back and Colin was relieved to take it 15-13. The second one was tight but Martin took it to level at 1-1. Bobby was marking this one and you can’t have Bobby and Martin together without there being some discussion over the decisions. There wasn’t much in the way of controversial lets or strokes but a couple of decisions on balls out or down were to fuel much discussion later. The first one occurred when Colin called his own shot out but Bobby was sure that it had stayed in. At first he was going to call a let but after commending Colin on his honesty, gave the point to Martin. He also asked Colin not to call shots out but to leave that to him as referee. When Colin’s ball hit the tin later on, both players knew the ball was down but Bobby said he didn’t see it and much to Martin’s annoyance, asked them to play a let. Anyway, back to the action. Martin won the third game but Colin took the fourth to set up a decider. You couldn’t tell which way it was going to go until Colin won the last few points for an excellent victory.
Brian looked to have his work cut out dealing with Peter Shivas at number 1. I didn’t see the first game but Peter won it comfortably. In the second, Brian did a fair impression of the Tasmanian Devil which, along with a lapse in concentration from Peter, gave Brian the game in a flash. Could Brian keep this up? The answer was no as Peter got his act together and set about giving Brian a squash lesson. Peter, in this mode is really a joy to watch as he seems to effortlessly play the right shots at the right time to the right length. Brian had no answer to it and the next 2 games slipped away. The final score was 17-5 which keeps Wishaw’s promotion push on track.
So it was back to Wishaw golf club for some food and drink and to continue the marking debate. To be fair, there were other topics discussed too. There was Norman’s milk fetish which led on to the specific gravity of faeces. This scatological debate seemed to be a particular interest of Bobby who reckons the Germans have got it right by having viewing platforms built in to their toilets giving the option of a quick health check in a glance or allowing more detailed investigation if so inclined. West’s most badly behaved player (no prizes for guessing), veteran’s squash and Norman’s heart operation were next on the agenda with Brian making an ill-timed and hopefully misinformed remark about Norman’s genitalia just as the barmaid bent over to pick up some glasses. She made a hasty retreat but Henry’s face got even redder than it had been on the court earlier in the 100 degree heat. I don’t know if we’ll be allowed back.
Robert W
Wednesday 22nd February 2012 – 1stTeam
Well Whitecraigs Rugby tonight and a match we really hoped to win, but they went away with the points.
All three courts were in use, so I didn’t see all the matches. First on was Jason (Lang) v Matt Anderson at No.4. This is one I didn’t see, but Jason won the 1st game, before Matt came back strongly to win the next three. All the games were 8s and 9s so a tough match, but one up to WC.
I was marking the No.5’s Gordon (Smith) v Archie Pollok. Now it’s fair to say that Gordon didn’t like Archie’s game; it was too short and clinical for Gordon, who was looking for a 45 minute run. Gordon was frustrated with the lack of rallies and whenever he played a lose shot he didn’t follow up, so Archie could play a winner without any pressure. Now don’t get me wrong there were flashes of great play from Gordon, a fabulous width & length on the backhand drive (at times) lovely cross-court volleys (on occasions) and the odd cross-court drive winner. However these were not joined-up enough and despite being 7-9 in the 1st and 5-0 in the 2nd Archie dominate the rest of the match (11-7 11-5 11-6). In the bar after Archie said as much, when he commented “I won the short game with my soft shots.” And Gordon replied
“You also won the middle and the back games as well!”
Kev (Moran) was also on the other court at the same time (so I didn’t see this one either) against the up and coming James Wilson, but it didn’t matter how up and coming he was tonight Kev was just too strong – although James did get 9 in the 2nd game – 11-4 11-9 11-4. This will be a good clash in the future no doubt.
I was on next against Nairn McMaster. This was controversial, but I suppose it was the fact that both Nairn and I have similar games and were always destined to get in each other’s way; and in contrast to that the refs were very different sorts of players who maybe see things differently.
Time after time I was getting bewildering (I use the word advisedly)’ no let’ decisions. In the end I thought just give up arguing and play. So I did and that was probably the worst decision I could have made. I know I have a bad reputation for arguing on court and I should really try and just get on with it, but every bad decision that went unchallenged the marker must have thought it was OK to give the same again.
I said to Nairn that if the marker thinks I can’t get the ball I have to show more effort and this may involve a bit of pushing and I wanted to apologise in advance. So I made no further comments to the umpire, but when Nairn was directly between me and the ball I made 100% effort to show that my opponent ‘was the interference’ and I was going directly to the ball and would have got it. This involved a lot of pushing and shoving and it certainly must have showed the marker something as I started getting a few lets.
Well inevitably Nairn had had enough of the pushing and at 4-3 he told me so in no uncertain terms. A point later I conceded the tie (and the match) as there is no way I wanted to carry on in this way if I was going to fall out with a decent guy like Nairn over a squash match when tempers were high. In retrospect I really feel I let the team down, but I’m also not sure what else I could have done (other than just lose every other point with a whimper –pride would not have let me do that).
Dougie (Kempsell) was on last v Dougie Emery at No.2. I missed the first two games as I was on court, but (our) Dougie seems to have been in control of these at 11-4 11-2. However a good fighting performance from (their) Dougie gave him a game ball in the 3rd (with a rolling nic off a boast!) but he wasn’t able to convert this and (our) Dougie won the game 12-10 and the match 3-0.
So an early night and hopefully no bad feelings as we all had a pint and some food in the bar after. Then off home to write this 2nd draft of the match report!
Well as there was nothing too comical to report on tonight’s game here are some jokes!
1) While attending a Marriage Weekend, Ken and his wife, Janet, listened to the instructor declare,
‘It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.’
He then addressed the men:
‘Can you name and describe your wife’s favourite flower?’
Ken leaned over, touched Janet’s arm gently, and whispered, ”It’s Homepride, isn’t it ?”
And thus began Ken’s life of celibacy …………….
2) A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?”
“No, I had to stop drinking years ago,” the homeless man replied.
“Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?” the man asked.
“No, I don’t waste time fishing,” the homeless man said. “I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.”
“Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?” the man asked.
“Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless man. “I haven’t played golf in 20 years!”
“Well,” said the man, “I’m not going to give you money. Instead, I’m going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.”
The homeless man was astounded. “Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that?
The man replied, “That’s okay. It’s important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and golf .”
Wednesday 22nd February 2012 – 2nd Team
The seconds were at Wishaw last night and having suffered a 5-0 drubbing in the first half, we were not travelling with much optimism. On arrival, it seemed that the recent mild weather had been ignored by the person in charge of the heating controls as the viewing gallery was oppressively hot. Down on the courts, it wasn’t much better. Andy was on at 5 against Paul Eley at the same time I faced Bobby Cameron at 4. The hot court just didn’t suit my game and Bobby adapted much better to the conditions and I was always chasing this one. I went down 3-0. In contrast, the warm court would have suited Andy and I heard that he was making a comeback. As I went back up to the sauna to have a look, his match had finished and he had lost 3-1.
We then had the daunting, if not impossible, task of winning the last 3 matches. First to try was Henry who was up against Norman Paterson. We had the unusual sight of Norman taking a carton of milk on court with him which he drank between games. He claimed that a study had proved that milk was the best thing you could put in your body after exercise, better than Lucozade Sport, even better than beer. Someone suggested it had been in the Woman’s Realm but it was more likely to have been Farmer’s Weekly. I don’t know what Norman puts in his body before games but it certainly does the business. Henry found himself in the same position as me as he never got to grips with the court or Norman’s game and lost 3-0.
So with the match lost, Colin had only pride to play for against Martin Bradshaw at 2. Martin had edged the first match at Lloyds 3-2 so this might have been expected to be another close one. It didn’t look like it at first as Colin established a good lead but Martin stormed back and Colin was relieved to take it 15-13. The second one was tight but Martin took it to level at 1-1. Bobby was marking this one and you can’t have Bobby and Martin together without there being some discussion over the decisions. There wasn’t much in the way of controversial lets or strokes but a couple of decisions on balls out or down were to fuel much discussion later. The first one occurred when Colin called his own shot out but Bobby was sure that it had stayed in. At first he was going to call a let but after commending Colin on his honesty, gave the point to Martin. He also asked Colin not to call shots out but to leave that to him as referee. When Colin’s ball hit the tin later on, both players knew the ball was down but Bobby said he didn’t see it and much to Martin’s annoyance, asked them to play a let. Anyway, back to the action. Martin won the third game but Colin took the fourth to set up a decider. You couldn’t tell which way it was going to go until Colin won the last few points for an excellent victory.
Brian looked to have his work cut out dealing with Peter Shivas at number 1. I didn’t see the first game but Peter won it comfortably. In the second, Brian did a fair impression of the Tasmanian Devil which, along with a lapse in concentration from Peter, gave Brian the game in a flash. Could Brian keep this up? The answer was no as Peter got his act together and set about giving Brian a squash lesson. Peter, in this mode is really a joy to watch as he seems to effortlessly play the right shots at the right time to the right length. Brian had no answer to it and the next 2 games slipped away. The final score was 17-5 which keeps Wishaw’s promotion push on track.
So it was back to Wishaw golf club for some food and drink and to continue the marking debate. To be fair, there were other topics discussed too. There was Norman’s milk fetish which led on to the specific gravity of faeces. This scatological debate seemed to be a particular interest of Bobby who reckons the Germans have got it right by having viewing platforms built in to their toilets giving the option of a quick health check in a glance or allowing more detailed investigation if so inclined. West’s most badly behaved player (no prizes for guessing), veteran’s squash and Norman’s heart operation were next on the agenda with Brian making an ill-timed and hopefully misinformed remark about Norman’s genitalia just as the barmaid bent over to pick up some glasses. She made a hasty retreat but Henry’s face got even redder than it had been on the court earlier in the 100 degree heat. I don’t know if we’ll be allowed back.
Robert W